Great to finally see a hubby step up, stand by his wife and say whats right regardless.

A strained and complex relationship between a married individual and their partner’s mother is notr that uncommon at all. I think a lot has to do with the fact that some mothers struggle to let go of their grown up children, not releasing them into adulthood and giving them the freedom to form their own relationships and opinions and life. But rather holding on to their child and coming in between their relationships as if they “own” them.

Update to this one! Op told her husband Felix her complaints, and he was angry. Locksmith contacted as MIL had a key and Felix arranged lunch with his mum. She was put in her place and an apology was sent to op (albeit a very insincere one). Looks like hubby actually stepped up, well done!!

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  • • ChiWren replied
    • 03 Nov 2024 , 11:34 pm

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  AITA is one of my guilty pleasure subreddits so I tend to catch a lot of crossposts and updates and want to make sure anyone else who is interested gets the tea

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    • • mom265671 replied
      • 04 Nov 2024 , 10:34 pm

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    Um wow! She definitely is overstepping, loved the update, well done to hubby!

Nope, definitely not the hormones. Sounds like you’ve been super patient with her for too long. Maybe in future she shouldn’t come around unless your husband is there and only AFTER she apologises to you for suggesting you weren’t going to be a good mum. You don’t need that sort of negativity from anyone especially in your own home.

I would have looked her in the eye and said something like “well, you’re clearly not good grandmother material” and kicked her out of the house.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 03 Nov 2024 , 6:30 am

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  I do love your comment! I do wonder how it would be received and hopefully it would cause a moment to stop, pause and reflect. Indeed; the behaviour by the MIL is simply unacceptable and not to be tolerated. Either MIL gets on board with manners and sticking to clearly defined boundaries or she misses out.

I have been in a similar situation and looked MIL in the eye and laughed and then moved on. A MIL and their opinions and ideas are never more important when it comes to you and your family. A MIL needs to know pretty quickly that respect is a must and that boundaries are clear and never to be crossed. The nursery needs to be off limits!

Wow, talk about a monster in law! Unfortunately, I have one too, although I’m not sure that mine is quite as bad as that. You need to be able to have the nursery the way you want it. You’re going to be spending a lot of time in there and the personal insults are not cool at all. She needs to be made to understand that if she wants a continued relationship with all three of you, she needs to pull her head in.

You are definitely not in the wrong to tell her to get out of your house. If she is like this before the baby is born and allowed to get away with it, she will only get worse with time. I know from experience. I agree your husband should definitely talk to her, tell her that what she is doing is upsetting you and making you feel that you are inadiquate. She needs to know her place, that it is not ok to start rearranging things in your home and speak to you the way that she is.

First i would like to say you are a great mum. Never feel bad for your feelings as it’s always someone that made you feel that way. Your mother in law needs to leave your family alone. She is still your family yes. But she is now the second part to your family. First part is you and your baby and a father. That’s the one the matters the most. I would never say don’t ever speak to that person again. But I will say keep her at a distance. From what you told us she is very unhappy with herself and her life. This is why she attacked you as she is very jealous. Some people are just dark and I feel she is one.
Remember people only make us sad if we let them.
If I was you I would sit her down and say you are part of this family but you only get to love the baby this is your job. The rest the room what the baby eats and drinks, how we dress the baby is all up to us.
I know you my think you are helping out but you are not. In fact you have made me sad which means you made the baby upset. As when expecting mums get upset it releases a bad hormone for the baby.
If you want to be part of this family then you will respect me or you won’t see the baby at all.
Leave it at that. She might be mad for a day but she will want to see the baby and you watch she will change. As soon as the baby is born and she sees him she will change.
All the best and remember you are great and you look after your first family first. All the best. Hope you read this.

You are definitely not being unreasonable in this situation. This bossy mother-in-law should have a line drawn in the sand by you [and or your husband] and she should be advised just how far she can go. She will probably love you for it in the end. I would also give her research found for her to attend a grandparent’s lessons on how to be helpful in the modern way for a new person coming into their life. So much that used to be done was wrong and many children survived by luck rather than good management.

Oooh no, I would have locked her out of the house long ago. I wouldn’t let her back in again now until she apologises comprehensively and promises both to shut up and leave your house alone. It’s rude on so many levels, including the fact that you’re actually working. Perhaps you could tell her she’s not going to be a good grandmother.

To be honest a mother in law who comes in unannounced, who rearranges your baby room or any other room in the house, who speaks negative about you and little respect for you and your preferences as a couple, who buys things and decides what goes in the baby room, would make me very upset and probably angry too. Asking her to leave was not out of line. I’m glad your partner is going to talk to hear and I hope she is willing to respect your boundaries.

No, you’re not being over the top. Thankfully your husband has your back seems ready to handle her and on side. Keep it that way.

That’s quite a rude mother in law you have there

I’m so sorry, it sounds like you have the MIL from hell. She probably means well but she isn’t the one having a baby and frankly, if she doesn’t pull her head in, she may not get to spend much time with the little one. You are not the a**hole, she’s the one who’s interfering too much. What a wonderful husband you have for sticking up for you. You’re both going to be wonderful parents. Congratulations

I’m an ex-midwife and we conducted a grandparent’s class to give them some insight how to be a non-interfering in-laws. Grandparents are just there to give some support only as needed.
The times they brought up children has changed over the years!! I’m glad you have a supportive husband.
Take care and stay well.

Aw bless, no you’re not unreasonable at all.It’s clear your mother in law is crossing boundaries andshows little respect to you. She sounds dominant and manipulative and kind of forces herself into your house. Please share your concerns with your husband/partner and let him either talk to his motherhimself or you as a couple together

Offft, no you aren’t being unreasonable! What a nightmare woman. I would have politely told her to F off a Long time ago, she sounds incredibly rude, self entitled and obnoxious! She will continue to push boundaries for the rest of her life, honestly as soon as she over steps push back because she’s going to continue to be like this. Speak up and stand your ground

Oh this mother in law is a doozy. My advice is keep your distance. Screen your calls. Move further away. Install a high fence so she can’t see if you are home or not when she decides to visit without warning. Buy her gifts that don’t suit her decor. Go to her home and rearrange her things explaining that you thought this is how SHE shows her love and you wanted to return the favour.

Oh my dear you are definitely NOT the a…hole. your MIL should beca bit more sensitive and not just come around willy nilly to rearrange your baby’s room with some inappropriate (unwanted) items.
I hope your husband has a very good talk to his mother about how her comments are hurtful and the ‘gifts’ inappropriate. Enjoy your last week’s of pregnancy and cherish your baby when it’s born