Its lovely that they are trying to be supportive BUT its not lovely that when told NO they keep pushing their point. This is NOT about them but about you and the baby…. stand your ground and if they are hurt by that then so be it.

You should only do what you feel comfortable with doing.

Maybe if it’s just a small gathering and you’re guaranteed not to get out of bed and even wait until you are enough weeks along that baby should be fine if delivered early.

Its a new mum decision how she wants to celebrate it.

I was housebound for my entire pregnancy and I was scared, bored and lonely. However I knew being scared was one of the worst things I could do for my baby, so I worked hard to distract myself and try to think positively. I wanted to send good vibes to my body, so I rested, tried to think happy thoughts and I ate as healthily as I could throughout the constant nausea.
“Tried’ to think positively is the main word here. After 8 years of trying to conceive a baby, thousands of dollars, operations procedures, mental and physical stress…it was only natural that my fear of losing my child and perhaps suffering extreme danger myself…dominated my days.
So even though this lady is going through her own personal journey, I do understand to a point where her mind is over this.
I remain sad no-one threw me a baby shower. I think everyone was fearful about how to treat me but I would have given anything for friends/family to show me some positivity because I really needed positive people around me at that time. I needed them to encourage me and make me feel supported…but….if this woman is not in that headspace atm, then she has every right not to feel guilty about insisting the babyshower does not take place. There is no reason that a babyshower cannot take place after the birth. Perhaps it is something that her mind will be able to accept at a later stage, but for now she needs to stand up for herself and insist it not take place ‘at present’. Perhaps she could offer them alternative things they could do to help her out eg. come clean her house, cook her some meals, give her a call every now and then and talk about if she is watching anything good on the tv atm or is reading a good book. etc.. Giving in now just sends a bad message and may even encourage them to be pushy about their ideas even after the baby is born. Yes they are trying to do something nice by throwing a babyshower, but they need to accept she is not ready for one at present.

DO NOT do this if it’s not what you want. Worrying over this would be putting more stress on you and your baby. Explain to them you would prefer to have a baby shower after bub is born. It would then give them something to look forward to and let you get the rest you need. Why can’t they take turns in coming to visit on a certain day of the week that suits you for a bit of company. Surely they will understand. Good luck

It’s totally up to mum to be. If she’s not happy about, it’s just going to stress her out doing it, so don’t do it. Even though the idea is coming from a good place

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  • • Mumof3boyos replied
    • 25 May 2022 , 7:06 am

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  Totally agree, I don’t think the intentions were bad but it sounds too stressful and unwanted for her.

I get it, but Mamma to be needs to be listened to and not have more stress. Maybe an after baby born shower would be better. Maybe the in laws could ask what meals she would like stocked in the freezer if they want to help etc, to cheer her up.

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  • • mom466087 replied
    • 24 May 2022 , 10:47 pm

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  Agree with you. Family is the safest place to be and be listened

So hard, as no-one is really in the wrong. Maybe they could just have afternoon tea with her – just the three of them.

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  • • mom466087 replied
    • 23 May 2022 , 9:04 pm

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  That is actually a beautiful idea

She doesn’t even need the stress of this while on top of pregnancy stresses.

Her wishes need to be adhered to. This was me during my pregnancy. And the thought of a baby shower whilst I was in bed… NOOOO! Listen to what she, the mother-to-be, carrying this child, and feeling so sick and scared, is saying. This is less about mum-to-be and more about everyone else. Listen to her.

She has already told them that she doesn’t want that. so maybe she just needs to have another conversation to apologise for snapping. They’ll probably understand.

I know they are trying to help her, but they really need to listen to her and respect her wishes and what she wants. Throw her a baby shower after she has had the baby, I know its a bit backwards but maybe she will feel more like celebrating after the bubs is born

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 23 May 2022 , 7:38 am

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  I agree, if that is what she want. Not everyone is into baby showersthough, I really didn’t feel for it myself. I remember once I didn’t feel for celebrating my birthday. It wasn’t appreciated by my family, they all wanted to come and so they did. Sometimes is difficult to express how we feel about things, especially when others can’t relate to these feelings

I couldn’t think of anything worse than people throwing me a party while I was on bed rest! can’t they just send the gifts in the mail

I ca n kind of understandi both sides, but mumma needs to enjoy some form of her pregnancy and enjoy been spoilt a little bit.

I have placenta previa also, although so far not on bed rest, but I know how scary it is. I think it’s a very kind thing that her husbands family still want to throw her a baby shower and try accomodate for her by making it a bedside one. I think as worried as she is it would help lift her spirits a little. However if she really doesn’t want to then they need to respect her wishes.

Maybe she just feels that mumma will regret not having a shower, tho it does seem like a classic mil move

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  • • emilys replied
    • 22 May 2022 , 2:31 pm

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  Hahahah this is spot on

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    • • mom466087 replied
      • 22 May 2022 , 3:18 pm

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    Haha that could be the case who knows

I think it’s really very nice of them to want to do this! I can see it comes from a good place. Ultimately it is your idea, and how lucky are you that your husband is giving you his full support! Mine will side with his mum 110% of the time! But anyway, it might be nice to take your mind off being on bed rest and create some happy memories. I get the whole not wanting people around, that’s me when not pregnant! I think just give it some more thought, and perhaps appreciate the gesture instead of snapping at them.

It’s her baby and her choice. Why not ask them to throw a baby shower after the baby is born.? Everybody will be more relaxed.

I understand it can be scary having a high risk pregnancy, but please don’t let that fear get in the way of you celebrating your baby. Plus I hope nothing happens, but if it ever did, atleast you would feel like you celebrated your bub and how special he or she is to you.