'My parents secretly DNA tested my son so I cut them out of our lives'

Not all families get along, in fact with so many personalities in the one family, it’s more likely that most families have a little drama in them, especially when it comes to in-law relationships. One man has shared on reddit that his parents never took a liking to his wife and it has caused for some feathers to be ruffled.

He shared, “I met my wife Sonya at a restaurant where she worked as a waitress. It took me a while to finally be her boyfriend. I introduced her to my parents and they voiced out their disapproval after meeting her.”

His parents immediately disliked his new partner, “My parents think that Sonya is only using me to achieve her American dream. I told them that is racist and I am very offended by their assumption.”

Then the new couple got engaged! He shared, “After my wife accepted my marriage proposal, we asked for both our family’s blessing. Her parents were happy for us but my parents were gutted and refused to give their blessing. Because of this we decided to elope and only invited my brother and Sonya’s best friends to be our witnesses.”

After they refused to give their blessing and didn’t approve of his new wife Sonya, the relationship was very distant and cold. “Long story short, now that we’re 2 years married and after we welcomed our first child, my parents started to reach out to us. My kind-hearted wife didn’t think twice to welcome my parents into our lives. She let them meet our baby 2 days after being discharged from the hospital.”

The new grandparents fell in love with their new grandson Garreth, and started visiting him regularly, “One day while dad and mom are playing with Garreth mom said something along the lines of “aren’t you the cutest baby ever? I am so glad to confirm you are indeed my grandson”.”

Thinking that no one could hear her when she said these words, she was surprised to turn and see her son overheard her comment, “I said “what does that supposed to mean?” Mom tried to change the subject but I insisted she tell me what she’s talking about.”

ALL WAS REVEALED

“Mom sat me down and apologised first before telling me that they had Garreth’s DNA tested to make sure that he’s mine. I was speechless for a moment and before I blew up from anger I told dad to give me my son and they better leave before I lose whatever respect I had left for them. My mom was very apologetic and said it’s because they don’t trust my wife and that our son looks nothing like me.”

He simply asked them to leave the house. “My wife was in the kitchen preparing for lunch and told her my parents had an emergency that’s why they left without saying a word. I didn’t tell my wife about the whole DNA test thing until after two weeks when she asked why mom and dad didn’t visit anymore. I told her everything as I know I cannot keep a secret from her. She started crying and it broke my heart. I know how much she tried to win my parents’ approval and what I told her was like a slap across her face.”

Sonya was understandably hurt and decided she’d had enough, “She told me that she can no longer let my parents in to our child’s life and I agreed with her. When mom called to ask when they can visit again, I told them they are no longer welcome in our son’s life. Mom called my dad and I told him the same thing. He was livid, he called me ungrateful and cruel. He also said a few choice words about my wife which angered me more. I didn’t even hear the rest because I just hung up.”

Would you have done the same? Did the grandparents go too far?

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45 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 31 May 2024
    12:09 pm
WOW….good for him stanfing by his wife. Sadly it sounds like they are much better off with them out of their lives. I cant believe they havent taken 100% responsibility. They need to work on themselves.

- - mom485263 said
  - 12 Jun 2022
    9:45 pm
Grandparents definitely overstepped but thankfully the Dad has his wife and son’s back. I hope the family of three are happy with his wife’s family who accept them without any tests or anything.

- - mom466087 said
  - 10 May 2022
    9:10 pm
They indeed went too far this is just nuts!

- - mom111059 said
  - 29 Mar 2022
    10:24 pm
Can’t believe that someone would actually do that. It’s horrible. I would be devistated.

- - mom400215 said
  - 05 Dec 2021
    3:56 pm
He did the right thing. They are being so disrespectful, the grandparents don’t deserve to be a part of their lives.

- - buggeritliz said
  - 03 Nov 2021
    8:59 am
I would be sticking with my new family we have created and having a lovely marriage. Supporting your wife and child is his number one priority. The grandmother/father are out of line not supporting her sons choice of partner. It’s toxic behaviour that will rear it’s head over the years so cutting them off is sadly the only way to move forward and have a life with friends and family who do support this couple. Good on them for cutting them off. Trust is everything! Makes you wonder why these grandparents are so opinionated and cruel very unbecoming!

- - Dockerchic said
  - 02 Oct 2021
    4:54 pm
What they did is horrendous and I don’t think I could forgive. But I do wonder if there’s a way to let your parents have a small part in your son’s life. As someone who had my fathers parents die when I was an infant I’d have given anything just to be able to have a yearly phone conversation, or 10min visit once in a while, just to know them. I had so many questions about what they sounded like, looked like etc, what did I inherit from them etc. What was my dad like as a kid etc etc. That only they could’ve answered.

- - tessie said
  - 29 Sep 2021
    10:00 am
I can fully understand why he had that reaction and I would have done the same. It just shows how much they love each other when he cut is parents out of their lives. I wish them every happiness

- - Ellen said
  - 22 Sep 2021
    7:54 am
I for one would certainly get these parents out of my life, they’re toxic

- - nadine_hill said
  - 21 Sep 2021
    12:40 pm
Yes, the grandparents definitely went too far – this is deplorable behavior!

- - mom109199 said
  - 20 Sep 2021
    11:20 am
This is just disgusting. I can’t believe the grandparents did this. I would have cut them out of my life if it had been me and my family. Wow, some people have no shame.

- - rovermum said
  - 20 Sep 2021
    10:06 am
OMG. This is just disgusting and reprehensible behaviour. I too would have cut them out. I’m so pleased the husband stood up to his family, and stood up for his wife.

- - ashna9 said
  - 19 Sep 2021
    7:50 pm
I think it was a terrible thing to do. Imagine testing your grandchild without the parents permission – disgusting!
- mom93821 replied
  
  25 Sep 2021 , 9:22 am
  I still do not understand how it was legal to get a test done without permission or referral -seems most irregular?
- - mom93821 said
  - 19 Sep 2021
    9:35 am
How is legal to do such a test without parent approval?
- Carli85 replied
  
  03 Oct 2021 , 12:24 pm
  Agreed, How did they get around the legalities…?
- - tea4tee said
  - 19 Sep 2021
    12:44 am
The grandparents definitely went too far. If your kid is happy and has no reason to question if the child is theirs then the grandparents have no right to question it

- - mom101628 said
  - 18 Sep 2021
    11:49 pm
This couple are better off without such horrible people especially as they could estrange their new baby down the track. I do feel so sorry for the son in this relationship.

- - mom450003 said
  - 18 Sep 2021
    10:04 pm
wow that is just awful. It’s sad but the husband did the right thing. He does not need his parents in his life as it sounds like the wife will never be ok in their eyes

- - BellaB said
  - 18 Sep 2021
    7:12 pm
I’ve been thinking about this, and this sort of thing should be illegal. They’re effectively stealing personal information.
- Ellen replied
  
  19 Sep 2021 , 3:48 am
  Yes I think it’s a criminal act and highly illegal; I would seek legal advice as to find out if there’s any way of reporting the grand parents.
- - alrevedup said
  - 18 Sep 2021
    7:04 pm
They are toxic people. The couple went above and beyond, giving many chances and forgiveness for the ultimate betrayal. They could have voiced their doubts quietly and asked their son if he had any doubts. From the sound of it he wouldn’t but I think after initial devastation from the assumption, there’s a good chance he wife would have volunteered to have the test to clear her name as it appears from her behaviour she is good natured and only wanted a happy family. My husband accused me of our second son not being his and after lots of expletives, the first thing I said was test him. It never happened, it was just a stupid argument but I had nothing to hide.
- Ellen replied
  
  20 Sep 2021 , 7:39 am
  Aw sorry to read you went through this ! xx
- - MumofOne said
  - 18 Sep 2021
    12:06 pm
I’ve heard of some horrible in-law antics before but wow. How incredibly sad and pathetic. I’m backing the cut 100%. There’s enough crap to deal with in life without your own parents contributing.

I don’t believe in ‘trying to make amends’ because ‘family’. Family can be the most toxic of all connections and if that connection only causes hurt and mental anguish why should you continue to put yourself through it?

That poor woman has been rejected and attacked again and again by her partner’s parents and the incredible breach of trust, DNA testing him for goodness sake, I wouldn’t entrust them to handle a nappy change in all honesty. How could one come back from that?