That’s really sad. I’d be hosting things at my place sometimes. Attend one occasionally maybe but always think of your kids.

If it was an occasional thing I’d say it was ok – everyone wants a child free gathering once in a while so you can actually have an adult conversation. But if it’s a regular thing, then it’s both rude and unfair to you and your kids. I would consider doing things like turning up, popping in to say hello, but saying “I can’t stay! The kids are waiting in the car!”. That should make your point.

I would turn up to the first gathering your sister has and leave extremely early after just a few minutes saying hello to everyone. Tell all of them you just dropped in to say hello, but now must go home to your children. It shouldn’t take many visits like this for the others to see how wrong they are in excluding you. I would also invite your family to your home so everyone can mingle with your children and make sure that the event at your home is so much better than what youi had attended.

Why not go to one of these get-togethers and just stay a short while. If they want to know why you won’t stay longer, just say that unlike them you have children that you need to settle and get to bed. I’m fairly sure though that you won’t really relax and enjoy yourself without your children with you. Maybe just go to one in 5 just to give yourself that break. No matter what you choose to do it will probably be wrong in someone’s eyes. Just don’t let your children know that they aren’t invited.

I simply do not understand the exclusion of children from a family event and get together. We have always included children at get togethers and events. We had children at our wedding, parties and family events and get togethers. A family includes everybody and children bring a wonderful energy to a family and to events/get togethers.

I think there needs to be a bit of give and take here. It is fair that the sister doesn’t want young kids in her house, particularly if she has things that are breakable. We don’t know anything about how well behaved these kids are. I know that before I had kids, having other people’s children in my house could sometimes be stressful.
There is no reason why the sister couldn’t hold some family gatherings, however, she should be made to understand that she can’t host the big ones like Christmas if she’s excluding kids. The sister with kids, could easily pipe up and offer to host some of her own gatherings, or if she doesn’t have the space, she could take it to an outdoor space too. There should be compromises met as I am sure the sister with the new house wants to show this off to her family and enjoy being a host.

First and without prejudice, are the kids well behaved or are they little monsters who can do no wrong in their mothers eyes? Second, maybe a couple of occasions without kids would be okay (as long as they are not special occasions) to appear as if OP is the reasonable one. Third, offer to bring their food. And last, hold some get togethers at home where OP doesnt have to worry about their rules. Now, if the kids are little monsters with no discipline from parents none of the above is a solution. If they are little angels and none of the above is agreeable then cut your losses. I think you will find in five or so years from now, if there are no other children, your parents will magically decide they want to be fully involved grandparents.

Surprised parents siding with sis – not staying neutral. Not having heard other side, appreciating that some homes less child friendly, still sounds a bit nasty. Maybe what you really need is to have a sit down with your sister to ascertain what’s really going on. If she holds her ground then I’d say my children come first.

Pretty easy not to go. Your kids aren’t welcome there so dont go either. Stop caring who she invites to her house. You can invite any relatives you want to your own house, there is absolutely no need to feel left out when your sister is doing her own thing. It’s up to her if she wants kids at her house or not.

You don’t have to attend but you could chose to arrange a baby sitter and attend one of those events every now and then. In the meantime you could start hosting parties with kids yourself as well. Since you’re the only one with kids you could invite family and close friends with kids

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 23 Oct 2024 , 5:29 am

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  When you have kids with a disability or additional needs you’ll find that for many it isn’t that easy to find a baby sitter and go out for the night. To be honest, I really can’t remember when it was my last night out without kids and I have accepted that. I most certainly wouldn’t go on holiday without my kids

Wow I would also very upset. My kids and family will always come first. If they don’t want your kids there then don’t bother.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 29 Oct 2024 , 6:32 am

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  I have a made this call many times when invited to many events and get togethers. When children and partner is excluded; then depending on what the event or get together is for; I am happy to decline. Surprisingly this has sometimes then changed the invite and then everyone is included. Do what is authentic and real for you.

I feel for this mum as it’s not always as simple as saying oh it might be good for you to have the break from the kids. People who don’t have kids will never understand, that is life. Put your kids first and find people who are happy to have you and your kids over. You are your family are all that matter, in the end it is there loss, don’t let it upset you.

Who said Mad Cow disease has been eradicated true to form it back again and strong. look after your children and put them first you will be rewarded with ongoing love for years to come. And with a sister like that you don,t need her she just has not worked it out yet. She is trying to be a Bull in a heard of cows and take control. Brand her for what she is and stay happy bullys are always chicken when someone gives back.

I don’t know how much others will agree, but I think there must be some deeper issues here. If no one else in the family sees an issue with the kids not being around, especially grand parents, maybe this is the most polite way the sister can communicate that she would like adult parties and others agree. The whole ‘it will break my son’s heart, how will he get over it’ is a bit much. Why would you tell a kid he’s being excluded? Of course he would be sad, he’s a 6 year old who doesn’t understand other people’s feelings completely and just wants to have fun. It sounds a bit… Narcissistic to frame it this way. I think OP needs to take a step back, calm down, and understand that her kids are her world, not her families. It’s OTT to think this means child free Christmas and holidays. Either have a trusted sitter, or host your own get together for the family at your house.

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  • • ChiWren replied
    • 22 Oct 2024 , 4:27 pm

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  I’m a mum with a very young child whose siblings are all child free or yet to have kids. They love my bub, but I’m not invited to all activities now because I can’t always travel solo. Totally okay.