The sister in law is just a nasty and mean person. And her husband really should have stood up for her and backed her up instead of asking her to apologise- what a slap in the face!

I’m so sorry you suffered a miscarriage and then had to listen to people give their unasked for and hurtful opinions. Also sorry your husband didn’t stick up for you.
I hope you get your longed for baby and have some lovely supportive friends to share your joy.

Infertility and miscarriage are sensitive topics at the best of times so I agree your Sil was insensible and just plain rude and mean. In a time where compassion and empathy should have been used, she went the opposite. Your Sil is lucky that was all you said to her!

I don’t think you should apologise, there is nothing wrong with your figure and many women have babies with your shape. What she said was unforgivable and she has no empathy at all. I don’t think that your husband realises what effect her words would have had on you!!! To have a miscarriage is absolutely heartbreaking.

I feel empathy towards her having a miscarriage. I to have infertility issues and I know how she feels. First her body is naturally thin and mind you she is blessed to having a thin body. Second the miscarriage has nothing to do with being thin or big. Third how dare Valerie shame her sister Inlaw. She has no right to shame her or put her down. What kind of person is she? She needs to look at her self in the mirror and reflect why she is a nasty person. She has her own issues . Valerie should be supporting her sister in law and her husband is not any better. How dare he support his sister? He should have defended his wife and said I won’t tolerate your behaviour. Shame on the sister in law and shame on the husband

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  • • tessie replied
    • 06 Oct 2022 , 12:33 pm

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  I was told the same thing but I was the opposite, I was big. Comments were made that really hurt but after 15 miscarriages I was too numb to care anymore. I hated myself for so many years until they finally worked out I had endometriosis. My husband was there for me every step of the way.
  Your SIL was very insensitive and your husband should have spoken up and told his sister to back off.

Not the asshole, not at all. She had no right ever to say anything about you losing your baby. Rude and honestly your husband should have stood up for you straight away! How dare he just sit there!

I don’t blame you for saying what you did, I don’t think I would not have been so kind. Where was her sympathy.

I can imagine this was a painful comments for you to hear from your mil. It would have been good if your husband would have shown his support to you at the moment your mil made this comment.
Your response was rather inflammative, but I can understand that when we’re hurt we sometimes say things we shouldn’t.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 06 Oct 2022 , 8:40 am

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  Btw, be proud of you slim figure ! Nothing wrong with that and a lot good with that ! Maybe your sil is jealous ?

I think her husband should be supporting her. To be so rude as to offer an opinion on why she miscarried is way out of order, especially so soon after the event.

After what you went through, i dont blame you for your reaction. And its just pure ignorance and being in educated in this area to put a blame like that on someone who just had a loss.

This is just disgusting. This poor woman, zero support even when under attack at a particularly difficult time emotionally and physically.

No one should be commenting on another person’s body unless asked. Especially at such a sensitive time. I would have lost my temper too, and then lost it again if my husband asked ME to apologise. You have nothing to apologise for.

Absolutely not!! Let it be known to ALL family members that unless they have a doctorate in woman’s health they can keep their opinions about YOUR miscarriage to themselves! How dare she! What a horrid thing for her to say.

OMG, talk about a rude sister-in-law and all I can say is well said with your comment ‘Oh I see that’s where all your brains and class melted to’. She definitely doesn’t sound very smart, but she does sound nasty and jealous of your small frame. I think your husband needs to grow a set and back you up. Only someone who has experienced a miscarriage knows how painful it is.

I totally understand your anguish and anger. I had recurrent late first trimester miscarriages and my SIL said sarcastically ” Are you sure it’s not just your period” when I started having yet another miscarriage. I was 9 weeks pregnant.

Such disgusting behaviour! Whether they are family or not, that is never a comment a woman should ever hear after miscarrying. Some people have absolutely no empathy and that is a complete lie. Women of all shapes and sizes conceive, just as many as those who unfortunately lose. Such an ignorant comment.

She was completely out of line for saying what she did. She should have some compassion and empathy for what you are going through. Stuff her.

My sister in law, who I’m close to, after 10 years of IVF blamed my apparent unresolved issues with my dead father who was abusive, as the reason my left ovary was not producing eggs….
I have ensured all my childhood issues have been professionally contextualised in a healthy way and bare no hard feelings towards him! Apparently my ovary isn’t on the same page…

You don’t have to apogise. It’s SHE who is wrong. She should be more sympathetic to your loss.. Take care and God bless.

There is no excuse for what she said, none. She should be apologising and I damn sure my husband wouldn’t expect me to in this situation!