Dealing with miscarriages and the grief associated with such losses is an incredibly distressing journey. It’s completely reasonable to have those names hold a significant place in your heart, especially after the hardships you and your husband went through. Your feelings about your sister choosing the names you hold dear are entirely valid. It’s clear these names weren’t just arbitrary choices; they were connected to the dreams and aspirations you held for your little ones. The insensitivity and hurtful comments you endured, especially during such a delicate time, have undoubtedly added to your pain.

Sounds like your sister has some very bad feelings towards you. I’d go so far as to say hate? Because that’s a horrible thing to do.

That’s so bizarre. Why would she use those names? If she isn’t considerate about that, it’s probably good not to have her in their lives.

Goodness thats just awful. How could she do that to you does she have no compassion. I wonder if you guys normally get along or if she is just a nasty pasty all the time. I hope you find the perfect baby name.

I’d be on non speaking terms with my sister too if she pulled this on me. There are SO many named in the world, you dont need to pinch someone else’s. That’s a really low, heartless blow

wow, thst’s a horrible thing for your sister to do to you. I hope all goes well in your pregnancy & the name you choose for your baby fits and suits them

Wow, you poor thing. I’m so sorry you had to experience that. You are not in the wrong at all. Your sister’s behaviour is apalling and obviously supported by your mother. It was so inconsiderate, uncaring, and mean to use those names under the circumstances. I am so glad you are pregnant and wish you all the best. But I would stand firm too on not inviting your sister. In fact, if your Mum wants to continue to broach it with you, I’d consider uninviting her too. Family can be cruel, entitled, selfish and mean. It doesn’t mean that you have to be stuck with them or put up with it just because they are family.

Think you are within your rights – I wouldn’t want my nasty sister there either. I do hope it doesn’t cause a rift between you and your mother, however.

Yeah I’d be raging if this was my situation. I don’t know what it is with people chowing names that others have chosen for themselves. I guess they do it because likely everyone else has said they like the name and means they don’t have to spend time picking one themself.

No, I would be upset as well. You don’t need that sort of negativity and spitefulness in your life.. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

This is so disappointing that the sister would do this. There are so many beautiful names to choose from. I would be annoyed too and probably wouldn’t want her there.

That would have been very hurtful. Although you can’t call dibs on a name in most circumstances, I think this is a situation where the sister should clearly have avoided the chosen names.

That’s poor form and pathetic move by the sister. It’s not as if the woman had ruled out ever having children. How many million other names could she have chosen, too. Sad.

She may have loved the names and thought it was a way of keeping the names in the family but the worst thing is the way she treated you after your miscarriages. I don’t think you’re wrong about not wanting your sister there. If you believe it’s going to ruin the baby shower just tell your Mum you don’t want to have a baby shower if she insists on inviting your sister. Maybe one of your friends would like to do that for you instead.

I would never do that to my sister nor her to me. There are so many wonderful names out there and the sister has no compassion at all.

It’s horrible what the sister said and has done. You need to be celebrated and if you don’t want your sister there then so be it.
You’ll chose new better and stronger names.

It sounds like the sister is being purposely hurtful for some reason. Not a nice thing to do.

That’s really strange that she wanted both of your baby names unless the names have something to do with your family. I always wanted a daughter named Sarah. It was my favourite name since I was 2. My sister called her daughter Sarah so I named mine Siera. I can understand this is totally different though and you wouldn’t be so upset if you hadn’t experienced miscarriages.
I’m so sorry for your loss and wish you all of the happiness in the world.
No one can tell you if you’re ready to reconnect with your sister or not. That’s totally your decision and your feelings should be acknowledged by her and not dismissed.

First I want to say how sorry I am for your losses, your sister sounds incredibly spiteful, I realise it hurts that she took both your beautiful names but just shows that you have great taste. I know you don’t want her at your baby shower but maybe you should invite her and show her that you are not spiteful like she is. You said she named her baby Violetta, if you have a girl you could call her Violet? Don’t let her get to you as you don’t need the stress just think of the beautiful baby your having and good luck

It’s absolutely heartless of your sister to take your baby name for her own. The lack of compassion is incredible. Imagine the pain of hearing your niece or nephew’s name & remembering all the babies you lost! However, if you don’t put this behind you, the pain will eat you up from inside. This is a case for forgiveness, for the sake of your own health. Invite her to the baby shower, and find an even more beautiful name for your new baby