'My Wife Wants To Name Our Son After Her Ex'

A father-to-be says he has been made to feel like a ‘sperm donor’ with no say, after his wife insisted they name their baby after her late father, who happens to share the same name as her ex.

The 28-year-old first time dad says his 25-year-old wife found out she was pregnant just after her dad passed away, and wants to honour his memory by naming their son after him. But the issue is, his name is the same as her ex’s.

“Her dad has the same name as her ex, who I know and who I hate. The most I’m willing to compromise on is her putting the name in the middle, but I refuse to have it as my son’s first name,” he explained on reddit.

The dad-to-be says he has been ridiculed for his stance, and has been made to feel like ‘some random sperm donor that has shouldn’t have any so at all.’

“Everybody is making it seem like I’m insane for saying that. Even my own mom. Nobody is supporting me on this except for my older sister and her husband. Everybody else just shrugs and goes, ‘She’s the one pushing out the baby, soooo she kinda has the right…’ Or, ‘If she names the baby after her ex, just call the baby by a nickname, it’s not that serious.’

“But to me, if it’s not that serious, then let’s just pick one of the billions of other names out there. Our baby is due next month and I told my wife last night, ‘Honey, I’m dead serious. We need to talk about this name. If you name our child after your ex, you’re telling me how little you respect me.’

“She burst in tears, and said, ‘Why do you keep trying to guilt trip me? Can’t you understand? I’m not naming him after my ex, it’s after my father! Stop bringing this up. All this stress is not good for the baby’ and then she called her mum to come pick her up.

“Of course her mum called my mum and I’m the bad guy again. My wife said she’s not coming home unless I promise not to bring this up again. Usually I would let this go as I’ve been doing, but with the baby due next month, I need to know if I’m being an a**hole for this.

“This is a honestly a hill I’m willing to die on. If she gives our child that name I honestly don’t see me staying with her. I’ll be there for the child, of course, but not with her. u But the nonchalant way everyone is treating this is making me wonder if I’m taking this too serious.”

What do you think of this emotion-charged situation? Let us know in the comments below.

32 Comments

- - mom443421 said
  - 09 Nov 2023
    11:56 am
I’d have an issue if it was just the exes name, but it was her dad’s name too and she wants to pay tribute to him.

- - mom197719 said
  - 11 Aug 2023
    7:20 am
I think the dad needs to get over the ex… it’s a coincidence that the ex shares the name with her late dad. This seems like it will always be an issue for this family…

- - mom490681 said
  - 03 Aug 2023
    10:53 pm
Oh my! Poor dad, I think she should be happy he compromised to have it as a second name.

- - linaianna said
  - 02 Jun 2023
    9:19 pm
I think to have it as a second it a good compromise- she should be happy he is willing to have the name at all

- - Lace89 said
  - 30 Mar 2023
    1:02 am
Umm that would be a solid no from me.. unless their is a much bigger reasoning behind it such as their name is also a past relative or a passed on name/ middle name etc

- - MummaD said
  - 27 Mar 2023
    12:03 pm
Middle name is the best idea I think

- - Coast477127 said
  - 21 Mar 2023
    8:15 pm
Sounds like he’s OK with it as a middle name. She also needs to see it from his point of view. It may effect the relationship with the baby if he’s connecting the name to an unpleasant ex.

- - Lividanke said
  - 14 Mar 2023
    2:37 pm
I think the most logical compromise for this is to give the baby this name as the middle name and pick a first name that you can both agree on.

- - rovermum said
  - 08 Mar 2023
    2:10 pm
This is insane how many people are involved in this situation. It’s between this man and his wife not everyone else. Even though she is the one ‘pushing the baby out’ he does have a say. Have a child is miraculous, lucky for many, and you need such a good, strong bond and relationship to parent a child. If they can’t agree on a name, how will they agree on bigger issues. I understand where he is coming from and the compromise is to have her Dad’s name as a middle name. I think that’s fair. Is there any chance the baby might be a girl? That would be funny and shut everyone up.

- - mom490651 said
  - 06 Mar 2023
    6:31 am
This is tricky, both parents need to agree, they could discuss the possibility of the fathers/ex name as a middle name.

- - BellaB said
  - 05 Mar 2023
    7:27 pm
Oh dear, another situation where neither is clearly right or wrong. I have to say that I think the “middle name” compromise is a good one. And while he’s not necessarily right, I do think his feelings shouldn’t be dismissed so easily.

- - tessie said
  - 05 Mar 2023
    2:47 pm
I can understand both sides but he is willing to compromise and have it as a middle name. If she thinks so little of your feelings, I can’t see this working out. She is always going to call her Mum who will then call your Mum everytime she doesn’t get her own way. I’d leave now if I was you. She’s just a spoilt child who will never grow up

- - meedee said
  - 05 Mar 2023
    10:58 am
If she said she is not coming home if you are going to bring this up again I would dig my heels in and ask her where she wants me to send all her stuff.
She is a selfish brat and this will be your life. Everytime you do something that she is not happy with she will inform her Mum and her Mum will talk to your Mum and they will all gang up on you. You need to decide now if you are happy to live that way and if you are then suck it up. If you are not then stand firm now ….start as you mean to go on.

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 04 Mar 2023
    10:16 pm
It really is a joint decision. Hopefully they can work this out before the birth.

- - mom101628 said
  - 04 Mar 2023
    12:24 pm
Every parent I have known wanting to honour their father by naming the child after them puts the name as a middle name. If she can’t do this, then you are certainly going to have a rocky road ahead. Tell her and all your family who are sticking their noses in that you will be calling your child ‘Sonny’ if she insists on this – that is of course while ever you are around!

- - cassy26 said
  - 04 Mar 2023
    11:03 am
Honestly I think a childs name should be agreed upon by both parents and that he’s been pretty reasonable agreeing to using it as a middle name.

- - Mumofboys said
  - 04 Mar 2023
    8:11 am
First, gross she dated some one with her dads name that’s so weird to me all I can imagine would be saying the dads name when talking about the partner and that’s just weird.
Second. he should be sticking to his guns for sure. I would never ever agree to naming my child after my partners ex regardless of it being the dads name it’s disrespectful to the current partner.

- - Ellen said
  - 04 Mar 2023
    7:20 am
I think both parents should be happy with the name they give to their child

- - Bizma said
  - 04 Mar 2023
    6:38 am
Yeah put your foot down daddy. He is your child too and shw isnt even making sense to be honest.

- - roseuponatime said
  - 04 Mar 2023
    4:30 am
Absolutely agree with him, imagine if he was demanding it the other way around and wanted to name a girl after one of his exes, it wouldn’t be happening. I think it’s reasonable to consider it for a middle name. It also depends on the name.