I’m so sorry to hear that this man has found himself in this situation. He obviously loves his daughters dearly.
I think he needs to try and talk to his wife calmly, ideally without the girls around and then possibly consider a divorce.

I’d seek medical help for your wife urgently. This doesn’t sound normal. But I would also seek legal advice just to be sure your kids are protected.

I think he needs to talk to his wife first and let her know that if the children go, so does he. She could be depressed from being at home all the time with no way of socialising without the children. It sounds like she thinks if the girls aren’t there you’ll go back to how it was when you first got married. I hope they can work it out and the girls stay with them both.

What a sad situation for everyone involved.

I also thought that given her feelings it might be good for this couple to consider to swop roles: for the husband to become stay at home dad and for the the wife to get a job, whilst they also focus on spending time together with the 2 of them

I’m at a loss for words. I feel for the dad and daughters.

Wow, just wow, I have no words. I think dads on the right track, seek legal and mental health help.

Ouch! I hope her kids never actually hear that from their mother. What a way to ruin a childs life if they found out they weren’t wanted. Children are not easy, and I hope the mother gets the help she needs asap.

It sounds like she is going through postnatal depression, she needs mental health help asap. Dealing with kids isn’t easy but it’s not something you would give them up for.. she clearly is struggling really bad

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  • • susiev replied
    • 23 Jan 2024 , 6:49 pm

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  Dad – you need to be sympathetic and get your wife some mental health help ASAP. It could be post natal depression. Is it possible you could paint her a picture of what life could be like on lovely family holidays or adventures or dates when the kids are at school. It sounds like she wants the marriage, but is struggling to picture the future with the kids. Please don’t give up on her (yet). She’s going through some mental health thing…
  (Recently a friend of mine committed suicide – it is thought because he was struggling to look after his autistic son, and didn’t have a conversation with his wife about it. You don’t want that for your wife.)

Wow, he’s definitely made the right decision there. Kids are not pets. You can’t just decide you don’t want them anymore. She definitely needs to get assessed. As for the dad, I’m sure his family would be willing to help and he’d also be able to get family day care.

That’s a very hard situation, and I can understand the confusion of this husband.. The wife definitely needs help. I would first seek mental health treatment. She could be having a postnatal depression. When possible the husband and wife should go into marrariage counseling too. In the meantime see if your parents maybe temporary can have the kids

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 24 Jan 2024 , 4:45 am

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  I agree; there are many services that should be able to help and support this family.

Don’t be an idiot. She is clearly very depressed – quite possibly has had post natal depression since the last child. Reacting drastically and abandoning her will just drive her to suicide. Besides, you made a commitment and you cannot quit now.

She needs help, mentally and physically. You need to give her more time, do more things as a family and time alone. Try helping her before going straight for divorce.

Securing professional services and support in this case is essential.

Hopefully this mother is just experiencing depression and in’t really that heartless. As mums we’ve all had moments but we’ve never actually rung an adoption agency!!!

It would be safer to the children that they aren’t left in her care , she sounds unstable and can be capable of anything to get her child free life back . It’s sad it took her 5 years to to feel she needs to be rid of them . The husband needs legal advice and to be granted sole parent of these girls . She is definitely having a mental breakdown and needs to be removed from them . I wouldn’t trust her and maybe divorce is better for both so she can have her happy child free life .

Of course you should call your wife. Marriage is all about communicating running away because you aren’t happy about what your wife has said doesn’t solve anything ask mum if she’ll watch the girls and go chat it out. Explain to her your feelings and ask her if she wants out of your marriage or she can be less involved in the children’s lives, seek professional help if you think the children are in danger or mental health help if needed. Maybe childcare will help too see what she has to say. Send her on a holiday maybe even.

I would speak to mental health people before escalating to divorce because she may be seriously mentally ill and a short course of medication and some advice might rectify the problem. However, I understand how shocking this must have been to hear and if you were to take the mental health course, I wouldn’t blame you if you felt the need to have someone supervise any time she is with your daughters

Oh this is just so sad. The mum needs help, this doesn’t seem like normal behaviour. And unfortunately the kids need to be away from her. The damage having an emotionally distant mother can have on a child is enormous. They just want love and support. I really hope this far can lean on his family for support to navigate this terrible predicament.

Gee what a terrible predicament to be in. Is your wife saying that because she is at home with the kids every day and longs to be able to get out and have fun again? Does she resent you for working the long hours?
You mentioned money and how financially well off you are but money is not everything. If you have money but your wife feels trapped thats no good either.
I would be seeing a doctor or Mental Health person to see if your wife needs help.
By you walking away with the kids, without the both of you trying to work out why she feels like this, can only lead to more problems.
It must have been a shock when she told you but were you always too busy to take notice that your wife was unhappy?
Don’t just walk away from your wife, talk to her before you get into separation or divorce.
If your wife does need medical help you have to be there to help her through it.
When a. woman is stuck at home with the kids every day while you go to work, it feels like they have no worth. (I know I have been there)
The kids will feel the tension between you both so you need to handle that as well.
Good Luck and I hope the both of you can sort this out