It’s not normal to behave like this and shouldn’t be excused however it’s also not technically cheating in my eyes.

Sounds like it might be time for some counselling. I know I wouldn’t be happy reading that.

I hope you can both work through this. In my opinion this is a form or cheating but, whether he would actually have met her or gone any further if she’d answered him, only he would know.

I think the fact that he thought to do it in the first place has broken your trust. I am sorry you are in this position and hope you are able to move forward. Although i dont know that i could stay now knowing this. Good luck.

I think it was wrong to involve his family. As for whether it’s cheating, in my opinion it technically is. I would not do anything more at this stage but I would have my guard up and be a lot more diligent about his activities. It’s not a good way to be, but I would not know whether anything more would be an over-reaction.

Even if he didn’t actually end up doing anything it does look like he might have been interested in shopping around. What’s to say he won’t try again with someone else?

Unfortunately trust has been broken.

It sucks that he did that to you and it was way out of line, but no that’s not cheating. Why get his family involved? Could the 2 of you not work this out yourselves?

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 19 Jul 2024 , 7:49 am

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  Yes I wondered this too

It is cheating in that you have a right to be angry and he needs to change. It isnt cheating in a way that needs divorce.

I don’t like it. The intent was there. I can imagine her shock and horror. It’s a betrayal. She won’t be able to trust him.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 19 Jul 2024 , 5:36 am

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  It is a deep betrayal.

I’m sorry but I disagree with most on here about it not being cheating. It’s the thought that was there and how do you know he hasn’t done it before? He’s very remorseful, only because he was caught. I don’t think it’s an Italian thing at all. If they’re inclined to cheat, they’ll cheat. Have you ever heard the saying “thousands protest too much “? It means he’s guilty and protesting his innocence way too much and so he should. He mightn’t have cheated physically but he’s mentally cheated. So you can take what you want out of all these comments but to me, I’d be mad as hell. But also I would never go through my partner’s phone or instagram or whatever. But he definitely cheated!

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  • • Nana Caz replied
    • 16 Jul 2024 , 7:30 pm

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  Thoust protest too much.

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    • • Ellen replied
      • 18 Jul 2024 , 8:01 am

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    True you can cheat mentally as opposed to physically

It’s a sign he’s wanting to cheat, who sends a message like that anyway. Keep an eye on him.

Sure he is remorseful ..he got caught out.

Ud need to watch him, I think trust is gone if he’s trying to meet up with other women strangers that look good obviously reasons why it’s not to make a new friend. I’d be annoyed that’s single behaviour

I’m with the family. He didn’t cheat on his wife. But it looks like he might, I’d be watching him

It’s not cheating, however it is an attempt at cheating and a complete break in trust. I would have a very hard time trusting him again after this

This would not sit well with me if i saw a message like this on my partners phone. Although he has not officially cheated, who is to say he wouldn’t have taken this further if she hadn’t seen the message? if he was happy he would not be doing this!

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  • • Nana Caz replied
    • 16 Jul 2024 , 7:33 pm

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  He’s remorseful because he was caught. How does she know that he hasn’t done this before? It might not be physically cheating but it’s mentally cheating. The thought is there.

While I would be hurt, I think I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was just curious to see if she’d reply? He’s obviously pretty upset about it. I’d suggest getting some counselling to help you both get passed it.

He sent a message, the model didn’t respond. He is sincerely remorseful and apologyzed, you yell at him in response. I wouldn’t classify this as cheating, but as he said a moment of weakness. Men are truly a bit different wired than women in my opinion. Personally I would never share this with his family with a screenshot in a groups chat. Personally I also wouldn’t snoop around in my husbands messages/emails/social media accounts. I would work on regaining your trust In him and maybe consider some counseling together, you have a lot of good things to fight for

I think this is a very Italian way of acting. He didn’t cheat because he got no response, but what would have happened if he did? Somehow I have found that these Mediterranean people don’t consider their actions cheating, but they would immensely upset if their wives did a similar thing. The one thing you both have is he is remorseful so it probably would never happen again, and it seems you have his family on your side too. The worst part is for you to regain some trust in him and his actions – I wish you luck in this. You don’t say how old your children are, but you might wish to keep the family together on their behalf. Cheers