New Mum Is Fired From Being A Bridesmaid After Pregnancy Weight Gain

A new mum is devastated after she was ditched from her best mate’s bridal party, because she gained weight during pregnancy.

The mum has shared her plight on Mumsnet, reaching out to fellow mums and asking if her disappointment is justified.

The mum explained that she gave birth last year and had put on around 19kg and because of her chunkiness, she was excluded from her friend’s bridal party.

I Feel Bad Enough Already…

“I do feel awful about myself, which I’ve told my friend several times…,” the mum said.

The mum wrote: “We’ve been friends for a long time and over the years she has always made references to me being a bridesmaid when she gets married.

“This afternoon she tagged 4 friends on Facebook introducing them as her ‘team bride’.

“I felt really upset about it, but still, I messaged her to say congratulations on the team bride.

“It Wouldn’t Be Right For Me!?!”

“She replied saying she really wanted me to be a part of it but it wouldn’t have been right for me.”

The bride told her that the bridesmaid dress she had picked “would be an issue given how you feel about yourself right now”.

It’s Just A Big FAT Excuse

The woman said she feels like the bride is using her insecurities as an ‘excuse’

“I feel so hurt at her reasons for not asking me to be a bridesmaid.

“All 4 girls she’s picked are super stick thin (as is my friend) maybe size 8/10’s, I’m a size 16/18 and I can’t help but feel I’d ruin the ‘image’ if she picked me and that’s exactly why she hasn’t asked me.

“She is right that I wouldn’t feel great in that dress right now, but her wedding isn’t until May next year which would’ve given me plenty of time to lose some weight!!

“Am I being unreasonable to think she doesn’t want me in her team bride because of how I look, she’s thinking more about having ‘perfect’ pictures, and just using my feelings as an excuse?”

Yikes! So Cringy

The sad mum also shared a text message from her so-called friend, in which she explains why she’s leaving her out of the bridal party.

“I just think the dress would be an issue given how you feel about yourself right now.

“I know the style wouldn’t compliment your body shape or be something you’d ever typically wear and I know you’d feel uncomfortable if you did have to wear it.

“I have my heart set on those dresses and I wouldn’t expect you to wear something that wasn’t right for you, but I also wouldn’t want to compromise and change my dresses.

“All of the girls love them and feel super happy wearing them,” the text read.

Shocked!

The Mumsnetters were absolutely disgusted by the bride’s behaviour and called her many unsavoury names.

“Absolute cowbag!” said one.

“Wow. That is not a friend you need in your life. I’m sorry OP but she is utterly self-absorbed!”

“How unbearably superficial of her. I honestly would not feel able to be friends with someone so unutterably vain.”

“That is absolutely brutal. What a horrible person she is!”

How would you react if this happened to you? Have you ever been in an awkward bridesmaid situation before? Tell us in the comments below.

38 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 29 Apr 2024
    11:10 am
Then she knows that the person she thought was a friend is actually very superficial. Move on and find real friends

- - mom208614 said
  - 22 Oct 2021
    9:31 pm
Honestly, some people need to get a real issue!

- - NattyJ said
  - 13 Oct 2021
    9:43 pm
My beautiful best friend had given birth a few months before my wedding and was so worried that she’d look ‘fat’ she was far from it but at the end of the day I didn’t care if she was big or small I just wanted my person standing next to me who needs enemies when you have friends like this bride seriously I’d reevaluate my friendship

- - ashna9 said
  - 13 Sep 2021
    6:07 pm
What a terrible friend!

- - mummabear said
  - 04 Jul 2021
    9:28 pm
Obviously not a good friend!!

- - mom478886 said
  - 01 Jul 2021
    6:28 am
Even if your heart was set on those dresses and you weren’t willing to find a style for your friends body shape (which is fine, it’s her wedding), it’s bizarre to not let the friend make their own decision about whether they would be comfortable or not. Maybe she didn’t want the friend for other reasons and that was an excuse? Either way, so uncool to make her friend feel bad about her appearance in such a passive aggressive way.

- - mom133944 said
  - 24 Jun 2021
    5:49 pm
Bridesmaids don’t have to wear the same dress, she could wear a different dress and be Head bridesmaid if the weight wasn’t the real issue.

- - mom324778 said
  - 24 Jun 2021
    4:09 pm
Wow if this happened to me I’d be super upset and I would never do that to anyone you pick your bridesmaids because of history not looks cannot believe someone could be so petty

- - mom160421 said
  - 24 Jun 2021
    2:26 pm
The bride is being extremely hurtful over a dress. She is not a friend. I could never, ever do this to anyone, especially one of my friends.

- - Ellen said
  - 23 Jun 2021
    7:40 am
That’s like a slap in the face !

- - BellaB said
  - 21 Jun 2021
    10:59 pm
I would be deeply hurt. Why do weddings make some people crazy?

- - snazzy007 said
  - 21 Jun 2021
    8:20 pm
Wow I can’t believe some one can be so petty

- - tessie said
  - 16 Jun 2021
    1:10 pm
That is so cruel of her and I wouldn’t keep her as a friend. Most of my friends are stick thin and they’ve never left me out of anything because of my size. You already sound like you have issues about your size and if she was a true friend she’d show that size means nothing to her. Our body size doesn’t detract from who we are and your true friends know that. You are a beautiful person who deserves to be loved for who you are and that should never change.

- - SPerry37 said
  - 10 Jun 2021
    5:34 pm
A true friend wouldn’t do do that
That’s terrible that she did that and so shallow

- - alrevedup said
  - 10 Jun 2021
    12:40 pm
What a horrible thing to do! I picked my bridesmaids BEFORE the dresses. Both were around a size 16 and had very large breasts. I pretty much said I’d like purple dresses but I want you to be comfortable. If the bride has “always wanted” the friend to be her bridesmaid, why not let her pick a dress in the same colour but better suited to her frame? And like the poor poster said, she has nearly a year to get into shape and it would have been great motivation for her. I’d tell the bride how hurtful and insensitive she is being

- - mom471918 said
  - 10 Jun 2021
    10:00 am
This would make me determined to work my butt off & turn up at her wedding looking better than the bridesmaids chosen. Who knows that the current bridesmaids will even make it to the wedding because of bride’s attitude…… she may have to come back begging to have at least one bridesmaid! Anyway now you can enjoy the wedding without all the bridesmaid’s duties! That’s if you could be bothered attending!

- - starfish said
  - 10 Jun 2021
    9:55 am
This is horrible. I had a friend who was getting married and one of her bridesmaids was a larger lady, while the other bridesmaid was thin. The bride made sure that the dresses chosen suited both bridesmaids as well as being something that she herself liked. Getting married is about celebrating with your friends and family. If your “perfect” dress does not suit one of your friends, choose a different dress. Sheesh. There are so many styles where you can get the same “look” but make everyone comfortable. I’d say this bride is a bad friend and this mum is better off without her.

- - mom418449 said
  - 10 Jun 2021
    9:22 am
Wow – not much of a friend here. Clearly she cares more about looks than friendship.

- - mom109199 said
  - 10 Jun 2021
    9:17 am
Not much of a friend if she doesn’t want you in the bridal party. I would cut her out of my life if I were her.

- - rovermum said
  - 10 Jun 2021
    9:06 am
I have been a bride slave 4 times and each was a very different experience. She’s not a true friend if she doesn’t want you in her bridal party. I think you’ll find that over time your friendship will reduce as you clearly have different priorities and values.