Having gone through such a tough pregnancy and almost dying would have been a terrible thing to go through. Maybe that’s why you and your baby don’t seem to be settling. You could also have a bad case of the baby blues. Have you spoken to your doctor about how you’re feeling and your baby not settling properly? There used to be places where you could go with your baby and they would help you get into a routine that worked for both of you. Ask your doctor or your health care nurse for advice. I wish you well and I know you love your baby no matter how you are feeling at this time.

I agree with Mum454751 that is good to make priority and that your opinion about priorities may shift. Some babies struggle to find a routine in sleeping and feeding and that can make it very hard. I would certainly reach out for help. Just like the baby needs to find a balance, you and your partner need so too and that takes time. Your body needs recovering too, allow it time.

I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way. Not by design, I had 4 children while my eldest was still only 5, I had no family or help around as I lived in a rural area and, whilst I have a husband, he considered looking after babies as being a woman’s job. It may have been hard, I’m not sure, but I can say that I look back on those years as being wonderful and I have never wanted to change anything. I guess that must mean that things do get better, ha ha ha. I do know, though, that I miss those days and think about all the things I would have done differently if I could do it again – like placing a lot less priority on keeping the house clean and having just spent more time playing with the kids and enjoying their unique personalities. My children are all wonderful adults now and I still love them the same, but those first years, whilst hard, are something special in your child’s life, and yours, that will never happen again. I hope things get better for you. My only advice would be to try and zone out for the ‘must dos’ and focus more on the good parts. If possible, try to put a positive spin on things like changing nappies and preparing bottles, such as, you’re getting bub nice and clean so that they’ll be happier and you can spend a happier moment with them afterwards, and you’re preparing a bottle so that you can sit down, get a hard-earned rest, and enjoy some quite time with your baby. When my babies would cry, I would usually talk to them while doing what was necessary to make them feel better, and pretty much emphasise with them, such as, “I know, that stinky, dirty nappy is probably really stinging your bottom right now. Mummy is just going to clean you up and put a clean nappy on and you’ll start feeling a lot better. Won’t that be good?” It might sound funny, but I found that it helped both of us settle down a bit. I would do that all the time with them, during tummy pains and so on, and it worked so well that I can honestly say that my children rarely cried to the point I was sick of it. I hope you are able to find something that works for you soon so that you are able to enjoy your time with your baby while they are still young. Sending you my prayers.

It definitely does get better. I don’t know who in their right mind would tell a struggling mum otherwise. She really needs to get some rest. Perhaps try teaching bub to self soothe and have a nursery room separate from her own. Get someone to watch baby while she has some sleep herself. You should never be afraid to ask for help.

I feel for this mum and I hope she got through the tough years and is now loving being a mum. Those early years are hard and I also experienced it myself and it was hard when I was in it but now that I am past it and life is easier, I get way more sleep. Just remember it does pass even if it feels it won’t.

Oh goodness. A few years on now so I hope this mum is doing so much better now. It’s so easy to underestimate how intense the beginning of being a new mum is. Everything is so new, the shock of birth is still rattling your mind and body, and you have a little bundle of cuteness crying constantly. It’s always okay to speak out

My second child was a bit like that. I remember when he was 10 months old he still fedten times per twenty four hours. But it’s just a temporary stage and it will get better, I promise ! Ready your story I wonder why an epidural was denied despite you asking for it during the delivery ??

Oh Girl i hear you with the baby that never sleeps thing. My eldest was like that and my partner was zero help so I felt very much like a single mum but without the worry of where the income was coming from. Thankfully we got there in the end and I went on to have two more who were both great sleepers.

Its hard..they all need time to work

oh i remember those early days. They are bloody hard.

Definitely remember those feels, my first pregnancy was my twins. Loom it gets so much better. Recently had my 3rd baby and the experience was far calmer

I remember those early days – it’s hard but it does get better

Your life is not over, it will get better, it truly will. Accept all help you can and connect with other mums, you’re not alone !

As a women who went through ALOT to have a baby. Had severe Hypermesis Gravidarum, horrendous birth story and a very hard first 6 months with the baby only sleeping for an hour or two at a time unfortunately I cannot relate at all. I’m surrounded by a lot of women who have lost babies in the last few years myself included, friends who are unable to get pregnant and all other circumstances and no matter how hard the day is I am lucky enough to just feel extremely grateful that I have a healthy child to love. I think if you can understand at the end of the day that a new born is hard but it’s not forever and you will never be able to go back and redo these early days it makes it alot easier to appreciate every moment. Even the hard bits.

It certainly gets better otherwise I wouldn’t have had 4. Get help [Beyond Blue is a great one] and eventually it will settle and you’ll love your child. Just keep on going and get as much help as you can.

It’s a big change when you bring a baby into your life. Hopefully your partner helps out where he can. Maybe you should talk to your GP to find out if you may have the baby blues. It would have been more stress on you because of your difficult birth. Definitely get help but I believe, deep down, that you will get better and will love being a Mum. Do you have any friends or family who can look after your baby for a couple of hours during the day so you can have a sleep? Wish you all the best and congratulations on the birth of your son.

I wish there were more people brave enough to say this, as there are times when I have felt this, and felt very guilty about it, especially as I moved heaven and earth to be able to have my kids via ivf overseas with donors. No hallmark card for ‘oh my god this is so bleak’….. It absolutely does get better, hang on in there, talk to people, esp beyond blue, or gp, or CaFH s – they will all hear you without judgement and positive ideas of how to help. Big, big hugs to you, and pat yourself on the back for being strong enough to say what lots of us have felt at times.

I have 4 kids, at one stage I had 3 under 5 years. I always called the first 6 weeks “the black hole” as it’s so hard and relentless. It gets better after that.

It does seem like all doom and gloom but definitely does get better but I do wonder how people cope with a multiples etc

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  • • mom111059 replied
    • 26 Aug 2022 , 2:28 pm

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  Absolutely it does get better with time. take care.

Oh honey, first of all you are not alone and it does get better with time. I encourage you, to seek help when I was going through some blue days I called Beyond Blue, just one of many amazing helplines that help parents even Dad who are struggling, for me it was just nice to talk to someone and even better they didn’t know me so no judgement. Sending light and hugs xox

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  • • mom468034 replied
    • 26 Aug 2022 , 12:55 pm

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  well said!