I agree 100%. I also see so many parents that want to be “friends” with thier kids….kids dont need more friends….they need parents

It’s actually kind of powerful for a parent to be told they are in charge and they have a right to be head of the family not the child.

Rule number 1 – don’t listen to parenting experts LOL

i agree and it is difficult to be a parent in this time as you are constantly pushing against other parents bad choices and perceived by your child as strict or unfair as everyone else is allowed to do have their phone in their room etc. but i think it takes a better parent to stand up and say no.

Excellent article. I agree 100% with the suggestions. I started from a very early age with my daughter letting her know that while she lived at home she had to follow the rules of our home, regardless of what her teachers, friends or others told her. She was never allowed technology devices in her room until she was 18, and an adult herself, but that still didn’t mean she could use her phone/tablet at the dinner table or do so instead of helping when there were jobs to be done around the house. Even now, at almost 20, she is paying board but still has to live by the rules of our home. When she balks, I tell her she could always move out and deal with that if she thinks she would be better off. She still lives at home. I see so many parents who are completely at the mercy of their children, even toddlers. It starts then. If they chuck a wobbly because you have said no to a lolly or whatever, then you give in, they learn they can put one over on you. Eventually, they are twelve, using their mobile phone whenever/where ever they want, cursing at you and telling you to they are going to do whatever it is they want to do, regardless. And this ridiculous trend of giving awards to every kid at assembly day at school just because they turned up to class every day, even if they achieved nothing, is seriously wrong. Kids need to know they have to work to be rewarded, because once they are in the adult world if they can’t perform, they won’t get anywhere. I don’t know what some parents are thinking when they expect their kid to be congratulated just for breathing….it’s completely ridiculous.

Good common sense here. I am totally gobsmacked at how many parents give their kids so much ‘power’ if that is the right word. They need boundaries. Even as a baby, just sitting up, my son would take his dummy out of his mouth and throw it down in his cot, then hold his arms up to me to get out of bed… That was just repetition of dummy is for bed time, and me putting it down, he then copied. I think consistency is missing now. So many stressed people out there

Thank you for the interesting article. A good read, cheers.

I absolutely love this article and wholeheartedly agree with everything in it. I applaud these comments and feel confident in my parenting that covers off most of the above. My teen son has no devices in his bedroom of a night. Just not allowed. All of our devices are in the kitchen area on charge or turned off. We do not praise our son for anything and everything. I often explain to him that we’re tougher on him than all the parents that we know, but that he’s a good person as a result of it with good morals and values. Our son is a part of our family, but he in no way rules the house. Something I remind him of every now and then.

Oh, what a breath of fresh air!

A good article and sounds like plain common sense in raising children. Respect is important for all; children and adults and children learn from their parents. Parents need to be in charge and children do need the guidance and education from their parents. Children do thrive with clear boundaries and expectations.

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  • • mom94125 replied
    • 24 Jan 2016 , 4:46 pm

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  yep respect is important! we just have to teach them how to handle the world and get the best from it, manners go a long way!

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    • • mom93821 replied
      • 25 Jan 2016 , 5:55 am

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    Manners do go a long way and they are so easy to use in everyday life.

Hmm a hot topic for a debate it appears. But times are changing and so are parenting techniques. I watched a clip of three types of parenting. The 50s were strict and detached but they could get a child to sleep on a schedule. They would grow to be prompt and follow society and it’s rules. The 60s was nurturing so they did whatever the baby needed and gave love and affection. It was said by the previous generation that they were spoilt. However I think that’s also because of the way the previous generation was brought up. Then there is the tribal parenting technique of always baby wearing the child. And they grew to be respectful of others and very loving. So I mean there are probably a million and one ways of how to and how not to raise a child.

lol do i be the one to say that we aren’t allowed by society to correct this. NO i don’t condone violence, that is not what i mean. We can parent the best that we know how but society is getting more disturbing and the world is a scary place. Do we then substitute real world interaction with technology? We let our kids go online where a lot of the anti-social behaviour is just common place? i would say that there are a lot of factors contributing towards this generation of selfishness.

Just what I have been telling my own children, who are raising children between 2 and 12 years old.
They say to me \”Mum, things have changed\”. I must get them to read these comments from the Doctor and I shall try and get the book for them.

What he says is so true…now if only the do-gooders who have instigated this style of parenting would take notice and not make people who are trying to raise good adults through responsible parenting feel like they are doing wrong we might have a better world in the future.

Finally there is someone speaking up about kids having their way. I have worked with kids for more than 10 years and I see who is the boss, even from the 2 year olds. Some parents were offended when I said, they are not the boss you are, but they didn’t want to upset their child. Sorry, you are creating a monster you won’t be able to control in a short space of time. Bring back books, put a book in your child’s hands and teach them the wonderful gift of reading and imagination. The iPad “babysitter” is something I hate to see when a child should be included at the dinner table, interacting with others in other social occasions, or just enrol them in the activity their sibling is doing, it will be good for them to burn off their energy instead of getting frustrated over a computer game. Kids love boundaries and rules, it gives them structure and without them they are too little to make the decisions, so make them for them. Happy parenting

I like this a lot and agree with it. My nephews bring their ipads to family parties and I really don’t like it. My 12 year old niece has a mobile phone and won’t give her mum the phone number. Something sure needs to be done

How refreshing to see a ‘parenting expert’ suggest that parents take control of their parenting from a very young age and continue to reinforce it. My faith in the generation that learns from this ‘expert’ is regenerated. Maybe respect for others and for authorities might come back to the young.

I hope SA teachers have stopped telling kids they have rights, that if they don’t want to do what their parents ask them to do they don’t have to. No, I kid you not!!!!!!. I have a nieces who started school in the late 1980s . Also their parents aren’t allowed to yell at them if they don’t reply and they think they may not have heard them. That is verbal abuse and emotional abuse. Parents can’t stop them from doing something they want to do. They can’t stopping from walking outside if they want to. (let’s face it the only you could do that is to physically hold them——that’s abuse) And the list goes on !!!!! Some parents visited the school and made their feelings known.
If the kids do something wrong, the question is usually where were the parents??

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  • • mom101628 replied
    • 21 Jan 2016 , 10:43 pm

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  When my child came home and told me of his rights as outlined by his teacher, I suggested that in my house he had the right to live by my rules. If he didn’t want to do this, I was happy to help him pack and leave home and get all the rights his teacher told him he might get. He thought about this for a while and decided that he knew where his bread was buttered best [and this was in the late 1970’s]

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    • • youngoldlady replied
      • 22 Jan 2016 , 12:23 am

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    My oldest was told when we moved to another state that he had rights by his teachers and that as parents we would have to abide by them. We told him as parents our rights out ranked the ones his teachers had told him and it was our house and had to abide them in the house.
    They were not many rules but the main one saying he could go to bed when wanted to or leave the house without telling us , were made redundant. We informed him bed time was there for a reason and as his parents we needed to know where he was going , so we had some idea of where he was. This was 1994 he was told. We have moved to other states and have never come across this again.
    Yes parenting has changed in the time of my 1st born up to my last lot, in 30 years things are done differently but the main rule is respect for your parents and elders. Also to your family and friends.

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    • • Aussieladee replied
      • 22 Jan 2016 , 1:06 am

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    My child went 1 step further in claiming his rights when I was trying to get him ready for school.
    Middle of winter still in his pj’s & no shoes on he did not like being told to get ready for school. “I have rights you know!” I replied I have rights too & this is my house with my rules so if you don’t like it there is the front door & please close it on the way out. 6 years old & knows it all already.
    So he stomped out the door & headed up the driveway which was a rocky road for some distance as we lived on property. He did not get far as it was below zero that morning & walked back in after about 5 minutes hanging his head in shame. Stayed quiet & got ready for school lol.
    He is now 22 years old & has not pulled that stunt since that day, but uglier behaviour reared it’s head as he got older & BIGGER!
    If you do not have your child under control by the age of 8 you are in for a load of trouble, remember as they get older they also get bigger so there will be other issues that go with the defiance as they grow into teens.
    My kids grew up just as electronics became popular but I had a rule that none were allowed at the table, not even in their pockets. No TV on while we had dinner at the dining table, it is family time where we can discuss whatever they wanted to talk about & ask questions about how our days were. As a sole parent I had to stay on top of teenage behaviour with that particular son being quite rebellious as he got older & became a bully just like his Dad even thou he did not live with us. He had become engaged to a girl at 17 yrs old unbeknown to me & I only found out when they broke up & I heard him sobbing in his room. He became quite depressed & lost his job refusing to get another so in the end I got tough on him & arranged for him to go live with his father to work in his business because he started to show violence towards me. I gave him a choice of either getting a job within 3 weeks or going to live with his father, he did not get a job so I packed his bags & sent him on his way. He hated me for about 6 months then later came to me & thanked me for it saying that he now sees what I meant by saying he was a bully because he witnessed it in his father’s home with his new wife.
    I used a mix of modern & old fashioned parenting keeping in mind that each child is different, had no issues with other my others like I had with this one. The saying “from little things grows big things” can also be used when dealing with their behaviour, little problems turn into bigger ones.
    Sometimes we have to be psychologists as parents & kids do not come with instructions, it has to be to most challenging job I have ever taken on. I also took on the role as a sole parent after having a life changing injury caused by their father so I was also recovering from that while trying to deal with heart broken kids already messed up by my near death experience. Parenting was far harder than my job as a national network manager prior to having them! I would not change it for the world though, unconditional love makes up for any difficult times. I wish anyone having children in the modern world where electronics rule their every waking moment all the best of luck because kids are quickly losing touch with people & every day life around them.

I like this, it makes me happy to know that my husband & I are not too out of touch by not allowing our almost 6 year old to have unlimited technology time (she is allowed use of our tablets in kid mode), we also teach manners & respect to herself and others & yes she is amazing & she knows we think so but she’s definitely not on a pedestal in our house 🙂

Seems like a very wise man and this is a very important and necessary read. thanx.