I love the alternative options… there are so many things that we can say to our children that will boost their self esteem and that shows them that we are really listening to them & pay attention to what they are doing.

Maybe say Good girl/boy for doing ….. ..

I say ‘good job’ to my daughter if she has done something well. Not little things like swinging on a swing or building a block tower. More purposeful things like putting her toys away or helping me.

Give praise where it’s due – sometimes these words mean a lot – depends on the job done and the child and the parent and the level you talk to a child.

I understand how it can be seen as a space filler but I still say it to my own kids and they always see it as a positive.

I agree with all the other comments so far.

To me it sounds as though the Mum might be a bit jealous. You can over-do praise if you praise a child for every little thing non-stop for one single deed.
There seems to be a few versions used amongst our friends : good job, well done, nice manners, thank you (parents need to remember to say it too as well as saying please when they ask / tell their child to do something).

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  • • Jazbright replied
    • 03 Mar 2016 , 10:40 am

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  I agree, manners are modelled and their meaning is learnt by how parents use them. It teaches respect for others and just so many things about treating people with kindness 🙂

I think “good girl” is better than nothing. Also that there’s a difference between using it for something like playing on a swing (not sure why someone would say that) and saying it to a child who has behaved well rather than done something naughty. Saying “good girl!” if for example they put their toys back in the toybox rather than throwing them at the wall, seems more encouraging and reinforcing than “you did it!”.

Sometimes “good job” is an effective response to a child completing a task you asked them to do. And yes, I say it to adults too.

I don’t 100% agree with this article. I certainly agree that we can be more constructive in the way we interact with kids, but surely any form of positive enforcement is beneficial.

I think everything form good girl, i am proud that you are doing that so well, to You did it and so on… should be used.. If you are never to use the words good what does that say about the child. I see all positive things been said as confidence boosting.

I agree that the other types of praise are more valuable, however I think it’s most important that we praise our kids in the first place rather than get caught up in how to/how not to praise. ALL praise is good, some are just better.

I disagree . I think those words might be empty to the person that wrote the article,
My child’s face lights up when I say she is a good girl.

me thinks people analyse things way too much when it comes to kids

Praise and reward do have a place in a child’s life. Praise and reward when it is well earned. As an adult when I have accomplished a task, I think ‘well done, good job’. There is nothing wrong with a child working hard and completing a task and doing a good job. Children need to know that parents and others have expectations for them to do a good job, rather than a poor or bad job. In this instance and within this context it is an appropriate comment to make to a child, particularly if they have a job/chores chart. The good girl/good boy comment is different. I prefer to reward the behaviour rather than just the blanket ‘good’. Reward and praise as earned and deserved is something for children and adults to strive for in their lives.

any sort of positive comment is 100 times better than negative ones.

So very important – appropriate words, positive and instructive are vital.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 29 Feb 2016 , 9:50 pm

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  Absolutely – children need praise and positives in their lives.

Lke gt

I always make a point of telling children when they are showing what they have done that I can see that they have worked hard on that. I prefer to praise hard work as it gives children the understanding that working at something gives results.

I think I agree with mum57619. Makes sense, altho its it sometimes nice to get praise? Maybe we just do over use it. Thanks for the article.