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If you’ve ever hosted a party, you’ll know that it can be quite a pricey affair. The food, decor, entertainment – it all adds up and when the guests leave, you’re left with an almighty mess and a massive bill.

So I don’t exactly blame this mum for considering passing the buck, quite literally, when planning a party for her hubby.

The woman shared her dilemma on Mumsnet, hoping to get some support for her idea. She explained that her husband would soon be celebrating a milestone birthday.

Passing On The Cost

“He has asked me to plan something as a surprise. I have some ideas for activities, but the cost is roughly $60 per person,” she said.

She was wondering whether it would be reasonable to ask the guests to pay $60 each to join in the birthday fun.

“Is it OK to invite people and tell them they have to pay for themselves or should I pay for everyone?” she asked.

“I want to invite 10 people,” she added.

Yes Or No?

The clearly controversial post sparked a huge debate, with readers expressing their differing views.

Some were in full support of the pay-your-own-way proposal.

“I think it’s fine. Just make sure you tell people so they can budget,” one suggested.

“I think it’s completely fine to ask people to pay if it’s an activity etc, I’d be happy with that for a friends birthday, I wouldn’t expect to have a ticket paid for me,” added another.

It Depends….

Others said that it very much depends on the situation.

“I think it depends. If it’s a party and you want them to cover food and drink that’s a bit off. However, if I received a text from a friend ‘it’s DH’s birthday I thought we could all go paintballing, it will be $60 each’ I wouldn’t think twice about paying.”

Another contributed: “Generally speaking I think it’s better to do what you can afford than asking people to pay (aside from pay bar at a party or something) but only you know your friends.”

Rude!

Many thought that it was downright “rude” to put guests in this awkward situation and expect them to pay for a birthday party they may not want to even attend.

“You can’t invite people and ask them to pay!!!” one said.

The poster later added that she was definitely looking at planning an activity for the birthday celebration. She wrote: “I should have been clearer in my title. It is an activity. I’m not thinking of charging entry into my house for a party.”

Have you charged guests to attend a birthday party you have planned Would you? Could you? Tell us in the comments below.

  • The only party I’ve been charged to attend is a hens or something like paintballing or mini golf

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  • The only time I’d think of charging us for a hen party when you hire a limo nor stay over somewhere but not for birthdays or anniversary parties etc

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  • I wouldn’t consider what she is planning a party. $60pp is steep, I think it’s fair they pay their own price.
    My little one’s birthday is coming up, we aren’t having a party. Instead we let people know what we were doing (with or without anyone else) and invited them along. We asked they pay their own price if they want to come and everyone was understanding about it.
    I find it difficult paying for people to do something, they say they’ll come and then don’t show up. That’s a waste of money, at least this way you don’t lose any money. (Just your patience with people)

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  • I’ve not thought about charging people for a party I’ve arranged and invited them to. I think I plan the budget in advance, and only go ahead with the party if I can cover the full cost.

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  • No I haven’t. Personally I wouldn’t throw a party when I can’t pay for it, or alternatively throw a party that is within my means.


    • Thinking about it I agree with paying for an activity. Every time we have our kids joining a school disco, we pay for them to join a party…which is kind of the same.

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  • I haven’t charged people to attend a party, but I would be okay charging people for an activity, however I would communicate this to everyone clearly beforehand and let them have the option of not coming if they don’t want to.

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  • It really depends on the activity, whether it’s a big party, whether it’s in lieu of a gift… Sometimes it would be ok. Other times not.

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  • It depends on the activity and the amount being ‘charged’.

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  • It definitely depends on the activity and what their relationship is with the guest

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  • No l don’t like it.You can ask your quests to byo but not charge them.

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  • Not sure what I will do in that situation. All depends who much it will be

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  • I don’t find it rude. You either choose to go or you don’t. I don’t find a problem with paying for myself.

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  • I agree with the paintballing comment

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  • I don’t think it’s rude at all. A lot of people have their birthdays at a restaurant and they pay for themselves!
    Money is tight these days because of COVID so you can’t readly expect people to fork out more than the can afford.

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  • I think paying for am activity is fine I wouldn’t expect someone to pay for my activity.

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  • I’d be happy to pay for an activity. And if there was a party afterwards, perhaps that is where she can give people the option to attend if they couldn’t afford to (or didn’t want to) do the activity.

    Reply

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