Hello!

By

28 Comments

These days everyone is busy. It seems we have an epidemic of busyness sweeping across the developed world. Every minute is filled with something and we don’t sleep as much as our bodies need to.

I don’t think that anyone would debate that becoming a parent puts another layer on top of the existing busyness.

Now, not only do you have your own schedule to worry about, but you are entirely responsible for someone else too.

If you choose to or have to return to work when your children are young, then you are essentially returning to your pre-child commitments with the extra responsibilities that parenting brings.

Being prepared and making some mind-set shifts can help you to make the greatest success of balancing the two roles and will see you prosper in the workplace whilst being the mother you always imagined you would be at home.

Here are some tips to help you:

1) Set your own boundaries but try to remain flexible

Clearly setting and stating your boundaries both at work and at home provides clarity to your family and your colleagues and clients. If everyone knows that you will be in the office until 5pm every day and that you have child care commitments after that, then they are unlikely to create a late afternoon meeting with you.

If your family knows that you will be home by 5.30pm each evening then they can rely on you being there and look forward to your return.

It is always important to build a degree of flexibility into our boundaries and plans though, as you can be sure that the company MD will visit on your afternoon off and your child will have a raging temperature on your work day.

2) Be there when you are there

Try to avoid doing child related activities when you are at work and work related activities when you are with the family.

I always remember having a difficult conversation with a peer when I was recruiting a school hour’s position. He was against it and believed that what I would get was a mum who would be on the phone booking dance lessons and organising playdates and after school care all day long.

On the flip side, my children don’t like it when I come home from work and they want to show or tell me something and I tell them to wait a minute as I quickly make a call or send an email.

Often now I will do one last email check in the car so that I can be 100% present when I walk in the door.

3) Outsource and insource

I am sure most of you have thought about getting a cleaner, asking a friend to do drop off one day and you do another or perhaps getting the ironing done. Anything to make life easier. However what is often forgotten is that we can also “in-source”.

Those little people of ours are more than capable of helping out around the house and can in fact prosper when they have their own responsibilities. Emptying the dishwasher, putting clothes away, tidying their bedrooms and helping with food preparation. The list is endless.

4) Have a centralised scheduler

For many people this will be an electronic app on phones or other devices. For me it is a large paper calendar, which I get printed for the family for Christmas. Every commitment is on there and we can all easily see who is where and make sure we do not double book. Our nanny is also able to glance at the kitchen wall and know what is upcoming.

Similarly, having a shared calendar at work means that should you have to re-jig your working days one week then your colleagues will be able to see this and will not end up double booking you.

5) Ignore the negative Nancies

We know they exist. Some in the workplace and some outside of it. You will hear all kinds of comments about your own choices and decisions. Many will be supportive, but some will be critical and hurtful.

I have been accused of neglecting my children and asked why I had children if I wanted to work full time.

For me, it is water off a duck’s back. I am happy and so is my family. We have made a decision that works for us. Other people’s concerns or downright nasty comments are not welcome here and do not affect how I operate or feel.

6) Deal with the guilt

It will happen. At some point. Perhaps the negative Nancies will get to you on a day when you are tired. Maybe you will miss a milestone event in your child’s development. Or maybe you will mess up at work and feel guilty that you cannot contribute hours like the rest of your team any more.

Whatever the source and the reason, I suggest that you acknowledge the feeling, accept that guilt is a negative and pointless emotion that will not help you in any way, take a deep breath and let it go.

Perhaps you can learn from your experience. Maybe you can do things a little bit differently in future.

Or it could be that very occasionally you do have to miss out on something, as it is simply not possible to be in two places at once.

I am all for making my own life as easy as possible. If someone can help me, or I have the opportunity to streamline something then I will accept with eagerness.

I find time and time again that clear communication all round leads to happy, healthy and strong relationships both at home and in the workplace.

Do you have any other tips to add to this list? Please share in the comments below.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com
We may get commissions for purchases made using links in this post. Learn more.
  • Working fulltime and being a single parents is hard and i always love hearing tips and tricks to help me be a better and more organised and stable mum. Thanks for sharing the article.

    Reply

  • I was gald that I was able to stay at home with my kids and didnt have to worry about working. I take my hat off to those amazing Mums that work as well.

    Reply

  • Very timely! In a week I will be returning to work full time with 3 primary school aged children. I live on a acerage in a rural area & am absolutely petrified thinking of how I can juggle kids, garden, housework & the weekly 10hrs of driving I will be doing to get to/from work! I am the process of employing a nanny to pick the kids up which i have discovered is not a relaxing activity to do during my holidays!!!

    Reply

  • A really well written article.

    Reply

  • Hehehe “ignore the negative nancies”……there are a few of these at school pick up time. As a single working mum I really need to remember this one.

    Reply

  • Such a great top list! If only we could put it into practice successfully. I try, and it goes well for a while, then soon comes unstuck :/ but I won’t give up!

    Reply

  • The conclusion is perfect.

    Reply

  • Excellent read, you have great advice. Especially as mums we put so much pressure on ourselves to do it all.

    Reply

  • I really love and believe in the last paragraph.

    Reply

  • I work fulltime and find it hard to juggle everything sometimes…found these tips helpful thankyou :)

    Reply

  • every minute is filled

    Reply

  • in thes days everyone is busy

    Reply

  • Thank you for your helpful advice.

    Reply

  • I agree with all of the above. I know have a cleaner come in once a fortnight and I no longer feel any guilt about this. I love it. The money I earn from working pays for it. My Mum picks my son up from school once a week to help me out and she gets one-on-one time with him. I’m disciplined with my work space and time, but find I have to remind others that I’m working etc.


    • that must be so nice! i want to get a cleaner so that i can just simply have a break from doing it myself…just once! lol

    Reply

  • Great read as I am myself a working mum, I believe life is about creating a balance that works for you! I struggled with juggling everything when I first returned to work but with organisation and boundaries as you mention, my work/mum balance is now seem less :)

    Reply

  • As a working mum most of my life with 4 children, I agree that boundaries must be set. Never promise what you cannot keep/do, and always be there for them when they expect you to be there. That was my philosophy and I still have a great relationship with my children today and with a lot of their friends that always seemed to be at our house for help.

    Reply

  • Totally agree with the communication part.

    Reply

  • I am a working mom. When I am off I enjoy every minute with my kids.

    Reply

  • busy mums

    Reply

  • Some great tips. Perfect timing for me as I am about to return to work.

    Reply

Post a comment

To post a review/comment please join us or login so we can allocate your points.

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating
Join