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Article Should We Let Grandparents Kiss Their Grandchildren On The Lips?

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Kissing babies on the lips may have been common in the past, but these days, we know better so we do better. Or at least, most of us do.

It’s well known that kissing babies puts them at risk of contracting illnesses that are mild for adults, but can prove fatal to a newborn. But one woman says she’s reconsidering whether to have children with her partner, because he says allowing his parents to kiss their baby on the lips is a ‘non-negotiable’.

The 23-year-old says she’s now told her 27-year-old fiancé she won’t have children with him if he doesn’t change his mind.

“We recently had this huge argument about whether letting his parents kiss our future child or not on the lips,” she explained in a forum. “I am completely against it because I always found that weird just seeing it happen to their other grandchildren.

“But my fiancé is saying that his parents giving our child a kiss on the lips is non-negotiable. I told him they can kiss the child’s head or cheek to show affection but not the lips because it makes me uncomfortable.

“He says I lacked love and affection from my parents because they never did that to me as a child, but his parents did that to him and his siblings growing up, so he was given more affection as a child than I.

“He said if I disagreed then he would just let his parents do it without my consent, especially if I’m not present.”

“Hearing him say that has caused me to fear having a child with him a little now because he’d go behind my back and do it anyways.”

She asked if she was in the wrong for now letting her in-laws kiss her future child on the lips, and the other forum members let her know that she’s doing the right thing.

“Don’t let anyone kiss your baby’s mouth, face, or any part of their body unless they’ve been tested. Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV) absolutely CAN infect, blind, or kill your (future) baby. Don’t let their mouths anywhere near baby without recent (and frequent) tests,” one person commented.

Another gave her a warning: “DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN. DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN WITH THIS MAN.

“He has straight up told you he will ignore your feelings and do whatever he wants with your child. That is an enormous red flag. Aside from the complete disrespect he has demonstrated he’s also willing to disregard health risks to his own child in order to enforce outdated customs.

“Doctors SPECIFICALLY warn against this for babies because of how easy it is to spread disease that way, ESPECIALLY newborns under 6 months.”

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below. 

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Comments

  • He sounds disrespectful to you. If you’re not comfortable, it should not be happening. Leave him before it’s too late and a child is in the picture. You’ll have more problems than just a kiss OJ the lips once you have the kid with him

    Reply

  • This is one of those “we know better now” issues.

    Reply

  • I would be running from this man, he doesn’t sound like he is a respectful human and i could see these issues arising again down the track with other things that they don’t agree on. To have a child you need to be on the same page and support each other, why on earth the fiance would say “i will just do it anyway” is ridiculous. Run now before it is too late!

    Reply

  • So this future fiance doesn’t want to respect her opinion on this and says it’s his parents giving their child a kiss on the lips is non-negotiable. For me this would be a red flag.

    • WFor us it was a no to kiss our own children on the lips and I would be concerned when somebosy else would do this

      • This would be a major red flag for me too, i would be running for the hills because he clearly wants everything to be his way. This could mean that other things she has a different opinion about will also end up with a similar situation.

      • Yes and than his prediction that he would go behind her back and do it anyway !!

    Reply

  • It is a hard no from me and quite concerning is the non negotiable stance. Respectful communication and negotiation is essential in a healthy relationship.

    • Absolutely and so is respect for boundaries

      • Absolutely; boundaries are a must and have to be established and adhered to at all times.

    Reply

  • I’m against it and didn’t want any face contact on bubs head for a while unless it was my husband and I. Cold sores and herpes are far too common, as mentioned in by someone in the article, and it can be horrendous for bub. I just read a BORU thread where a dad gave their baby herpes by kissing bub on the top of her head and it lead to illness.
    When it comes to lip kissing toddlers/children, I don’t like the idea of anyone doing it to my child.

    • it is a personal choice and if this is what you want then it should be respected, this is your child and you have the right to make the decision that you feel is best for your child.

    Reply

  • Kissing a child on the lips is a NO from me. As for this young lady and her fiancé, she should seriously reconsider this relationship.

    Reply

  • I don’t think you should kiss babies on the lips, but I also think the bigger problem here is his intention to completely ignore her wishes – what else will this apply to?

    • Exactly, this is quite concerning

    Reply
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