Hello!

Do you have any friends or family that are overly affectionate with your kids. I do, and it drives me absolutely crazy!

So when a mum posted on reddit that she can’t stand it when her in-laws never stop kissing her one-year-old baby, I knew exactly how she felt.

“How do I get my husband’s family to stop kissing my 1yr old? I’ve already asked them to stop and they “forget” or ‘don’t see the problem’. I don’t want them to kiss her on the lips because I don’t see the NEED for people to kiss her on the lips,” she shared.

The frustrated mum said that she felt that kissing her child on the lips was unhygienic and she was concerned her child might catch something. It also made her very uncomfortable.

“It makes me uncomfortable. There’s another child in the family and they hardly ever kiss him. I feel my brother-in-law is the weirdest with it to the point that it creeps me out. How do I get them to stop? (I live with them so not letting them around her would be sort of difficult),” she continued.

Stop The Smooching

Many of the commenters were in agreement with the poster, suggesting some tactics to get the kissers to stop their smooching.

“Hey, baby has gotten sick a lot recently, so keep the smooches to the top of the head or tummy please,” suggested one comment.

“Maybe saying something like this: “I have asked you before not to kiss [child] on the lips but you keep doing it. It makes me wonder why you think your desire to be physically intimate with a little girl is more important than respecting the physical boundaries we’ve put in place to protect her.”

“If they can’t follow the rules they don’t get baby snugs. You don’t have to get crazy or yell, it’s simple. Your baby, your rules.”

Others felt that ‘violating your stated physical boundaries’ was definitely not on.

“I’d make a fuss,” said one commenter.

It’s A Generational Issue

One reddit user suggested that this may be a ‘generational issue’.

“This is a really tricky subject that can cause quite a bit of contention between parents and grandparents. It seems to be a generational thing from.my experience. My parents didn’t understand why I wouldn’t let them hold my baby when he clearly disliked bring held by others”.

“For me it’s to do with consent, children are often unable to provide consent to physical affection, but that should not mean they don’t get a choice. As the parent you are the most in tune with your child and will often know what they are most comfortable with.” they advised.

We’ve all read horror stories of young babies catching the deadly cold sore virus from overly affectionate physical attention so we are in absolute agreement with this mum.

What would you do in this situation? Tell us in the comments below.

More On Mouths of Mums

  • I would be saying – unless you stop this, my children are not coming to visit again. That should sort it out quite quickly

    Reply

  • Very upsetting when as a parent your wishes are not considered. Makes it hard to make your child feel safe and set boundaries.

    Reply

  • I wouldnt be happy either and make a big song and dance about it

    Reply

  • I would create a huge fuss if I wasn’t respected about this.

    Reply

  • Tell them you have no problem kissing your child on the top of their head or on their cheeks but on the lips is a definite no go zone. This is your child and whether you live with them or not, they don’t have more rights than the you do as the mother. If they keep kissing your child on the lips then you need to put your foot down. I’m a lot more concerned about the brother-in-law kissing your child on the lips. Hope they listen to your concerns and do as you ask otherwise it might be best to look for somewhere else to live and give them much less contact with their granddaughter. How does your husband back you up on this issue? Hope all goes well and they finally stop kissing her on the lips

    Reply

  • Re-state your wishes and if they don’t respond to that, it’s their problem not yours.

    Reply

  • Kissing on the lips for mum and dad but not anyone else. They should respect her wishes.

    Reply

  • It should be the parent’s choice whatever it comes down to and the grandparents should respect this.

    Reply

  • I don’t see a problem with kissing. On the cheek. Kissing on lips is plain weird and not cool. Lips is for man and woman- I see it as a sexual thing and should never be between adults and children no matter how good the intentions.

    Reply

  • I’d get really angry if they have been spoken to about it before then they need to back off. If they don’t stop I’d call them out in a way they feel Extremely Uncomfortable So they won’t do it again.

    Reply

  • Yeah this would make me mad, I had the same issue with my sister, I can do it it’s my child it’s not your child it’s not okay and very weird really

    Reply

  • I hated my parents kissing me goodnight on the lips. Thankfully they stopped when I said I didn’t like it anymore. My brother and his wife did it with their daughter and she kissed the aunts/uncles/grandparents on the mouth too. My husband and I didn’t. We had to tell my dad (who was used to it from my niece) not to do it with our baby and he respected that too

    Reply

  • Ughh how hard is it to respect the mother’s wishes?… far out. If this was my kid, after repetitively telling them I would have flown off the handle by now.

    I’m so lucky my daughter knows when and by who she wants to be kissed. She’s only 1.5 but if she wants a kiss she will go pucker up for one and if someone is giving her a kiss goodbye and she doesn’t want one she will shake her head and blow a kiss or if she wants one she will give you her cheek or forehead. It’s only usually myself, dad, her brother and nanny, sometimes pops that get kisses from her.

    Reply

  • What is wrong with the father? Stand up for your wife


    • I agree it is his parents he should be standing up and saying something

    Reply

  • I wouldn’t be happy either if my in laws or my parents would have kissed my kids on the lips, glad they didn’t.
    I would sure make this clear and expect them to abide and when they wouldn’t I would set an ultimatum

    Reply

Post a comment
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Please enter your comment below
Would you like to include a photo?
No picture uploaded yet.
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.
Your MoM account


Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your comment and join MoM:

You May Like

Loading…

Looks like this may be blocked by you browser or content filtering.

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating
Join