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Article Sperm Donors, Thank You!

By Emily Morgan
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72 Comments

I heard on the news a few years ago that Australia had to import sperm from America, as there is a chronic shortage of men willing to donate in this country.

It made me think about my situation and I would like to shout out to the man who was willing and able to donate the sperm that led to the creation of my wonderful, gorgeous, unique little girl and boy.

Your altruism has made my dreams come true, and I can never thank you enough.

When you go to a fertility clinic and use donated sperm or eggs, you must attend at least one counselling session, in which they assess your mental state and make sure you have fully thought through what you are doing. I remember the counsellor saying to me that donors are asked a series of questions as well, one of which is, “why are you donating?”

Why do people donate sperm?

She told me that the majority of donors know someone who needed donor material in order to have a baby, and have seen firsthand how it has changed their lives.

Since I have become a mother, people who know me well, and even casual acquaintances, have spontaneously told me how my face lights up and how happy I look when I talk about my children, and how content I appear generally.

I would like to encourage all the men in my life to think how happy my children make me and maybe find it in themselves to do this little thing for someone else out there.

The selfish factor

Now, let me be completely honest: I am in two minds about donating my own material – that is, an egg.  For a start, I am not in my twenties, and I only have one ovary – and I still cling to the unlikely hope that I might have more children. Therefore, I don’t consider myself a likely candidate, and besides, I want to maximise my own chances.

Also certain people in my life remind me that I could sell an egg in the USA for thousands of dollars (selling any kind of genetic material is illegal in Australia).  Not that I would ever do that, but money does keep popping up its ugly head and saying, “you neeeeeed me!”

I’m just saying, I understand that there can be legitimate reasons why men might hesitate to donate sperm.

There’s a strong need for blood donors out there too, and you could feel that you have already done your part by donating blood. And I would definitely prioritise blood over sperm in the donation stakes.

Cost to you vs benefit to another

Everyone makes their own decision at the end of the day.  Some decisions we make have little or no positive impact on ourselves – but the feeling that you are doing something exclusively for the happiness of someone else must surely be a big tick on the karma checklist.

So get your kids immunised, donate blood and – if you can spare the time – donate some sperm.  I guarantee it won’t be the most unpleasant trip to a medical facility you’ll ever have!

Do you know someone who has donated sperm? What were their reasons? Please SHARE below.

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Comments

  • I dont know anyone personally.
    Thankfully its much easier for a man to donate sperm then it is for a woman to donate eggs

    Reply

  • I have not known anyone personally, but the stories here are so heart warming. love it.

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  • I have a client who used donated sperm to conceive a baby. She was not in a relationship and didn’t have a desire to be in one, but she wanted a baby and knew she could do it on her own, so she did. I really applaud her for that, she and her family are so happy with her gorgeous boy and they don’t have to worry about the father turning up and expecting rights to the child.

    Reply

  • My cousin used donated sperm and recently had twins, a girl and a boy. She is in a relationship now with a woman so wouldn’t have been able to get pregnant by her anyway, but it was something she was going to do regardless of her relationship status.

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  • They request the full medical history of a sperm donor go make sure there is no genetic diseases or syndromes. I know a child who I suspect may have got the father’s dental problems.
    They also request the medical history of blood donors including medications being taken. There is some that are not safe for other people. If you have too much iron in your blood they can’t use it either. If you have to have blood taken because of the excess iron they cannot use the blood and it has be disposed of. In many the iron overload disease is genetic. It also causes liver damage

    Reply

  • Donating sperm is such a personal decision for all involved. And I think that decision is totally up to the man donating (and partner/wife/husband whatever if applicable)
    But the gift of donating sperm is amazing. A friend had to use donor sperm as her hubby had gone through chemo & after 5 years of IVF, heartbreak, hope and financial cost they finally got their family. It’s such an amazing gift. Laws are in place and very strict ID practices so men don’t need to worry about a child turning up saying ‘you’re my dad’ or being asked for child support. Also provisions are made for contact or information to be released to the child at a certain age if they request.
    For my friend it was the only way they could have children and their kids know they were donor sperm kids – but my friends hubby considers them 100% his own and to the kids their dad is their dad. A father is much more than the sperm.
    But I wish more Aussie men would donate. The expense of using overseas sperm can be prohibitive- and for people like my friend it may have come down to not having a child due to cost alone. They were lucky to use an unknown Aussie donor. Just like donating blood, donating sperm is an amazing gift. Absolutely a personal decision, but I’ve seen the wonderful outcome of this gift. (But I’m aware of so many people not lucky enough to conceive and the heartbreak too)

    Reply

  • We were told we would NEVER have our own children and would have to use Donor sperm. I really struggled with this as I had loved my partner since my teens and so desperately wanted his baby. We went full into the counselling and process and then… they managed to get a small amount of sperm from hubby (they only need one!!) that was able to be used to fertilise my eggs. Yay. After 2.5 years on IVF and using what we had decided was our absolute last try with my last fertilised egg, we got pregnant. Yay. Everything about the process was gruelling and the subsequent pregnancy, birth, first year of life was not everything we had hoped. It was traumatic amongst other things. Years down the track we had to decide what to do with my hubby’s sperm and we donated it to research. Because – I had never imagined being a mum to an only child but… things happened during pregnancy, birth and post-birth that meant my hubby didn’t want to put me through that again. And, therefore, I could never imagine anyone else have his sperm. But I couldn’t imagine destroying it only. It was so hard to get! It was not an easy decision. We wrestled with it for many reasons. But it was our decision – we had been through it all, personally, and so we fully understood the entire process. But we gave it our all, and it was our very personal decision.

    • Aw bless, I can imagine it was hard !

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  • I would donate my eggs if I was a suitable candidate for it, but it is such an invasive procedure and wreaked havoc on my body when I went through IVF as I ended up with ovarian hyper stimulation. I wonder if it’s the same process to obtain the maximum amount possible?

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  • I don’t think my husband would voluntarily donate his sperm. It would always be on his mind that there could be a child out there with his DNA to which he won’t have a relationship with. However I’d be happy to donate my eggs. I wish the laws of surrogacy were a little easier.

    Reply

  • It is a wonderful idea but I couldn’t do it, my fear is one day my child marrying their biological sibling without knowing

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  • I would also like to thank my hubby for his sperm donations. Without which we wouldn’t have our beautiful children ;)

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  • I think f you can help someone else become a paren that’s a great thing

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  • This fills me with mixed emotions….

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  • This is a wonderful article. I would not have minded if my hubby became a sperm donor but I think he is a bit too old now. What is the ideal age for a donor?

    • Hi there, I don’t know the official requirements as I didn’t have to look into that side of things but recent research suggests that over the age of 45, men’s sperm viability drops significantly, so probably 45 and under – but you’d need to check a specific clinic’s policy on that, I’d say. They’re all different. How great though, that you guys are considering it!

    Reply

  • i never knew about this topical post before

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  • Everyone has an opinion… I do get a little sick of them

    • I guess that’s what comments and forums are for, though. A place to add your opinion and read others’. Thanks for your response anyway!

    Reply

  • I think one thing that makes a lot of men hesitate is the idea of a “baby” turning up on their doorstep 18 years later. And I do think that’s a fair concern.

    • Fortunately, they are protected from this. Men who donate sperm get to decide if and when they will make their contact details available to people they helped. So if they choose, they can remain completely anonymous, which is a good thing.

    Reply

  • I love this article. My sister has been in a lesbian relationship for a lot of years & they are wanting go get a sperm donor.

    • That’s great – I really hope they find someone. There are plenty of fertility clinics who they can go to.

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  • very nice

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  • I am forever grateful to my sperm donor who has given me the most beautiful little boy imaginable! Without the donor, being single with PCOS, having a baby was extremely unlikely.
    It is a very emotional and expensive journey, but my little boy is loved so much, not only by me but the family and friends around us and I look forward to seeing the man he grows into.

    • What a wonderful story! I wish you and your darling boy all the best. We sure are the luckiest women in the world, aren’t we!

    Reply
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