Here we are, Wednesday morning and my little boy is refusing to go to school. Tears, meltdowns, got undressed again, tucked himself in bed again. It’s not as if this is new to him: he is five in two months, and has been going to this daycare one or two days a week since he was three. When I pick him up, he is running around laughing and having fun with other kids. But every Monday and Wednesday morning he kicks up a stink. This Monday, I bought the sickie and he had day off. Today, I actually have some work I want to get done at home and am feeling firm. Ish. I’ve already told him I’ll give him another hour: sometimes at 10, he is happy to go. Today is even the day they get taken to kindagym. He loves kindagym – we go ourselves on a different day. Last week after I picked him up they showed me the class Ipad photos: he is having fun. Liar. And yet there he is now, sobbing into his pillow, making me feel like the worst mum in the world for wanting some headspace, time ‘off’, actually time to work and concentrate on something for longer than five minutes. Clearly a big ask. Even after seven days of being with him 24/7. In the last two months he has been doing this (I think it’s just a habit he has formed, maybe), he has missed eleven days. They do give out ‘makeup days’ at our daycare, but I have a snowflakes chance in hell of using those already paid-for days. Most weeks, I’m paying for the privilege of looking after my own child. On the other hand, I’m told I’m even lucky my daycare offers ‘makeup days’. I imagine if I had to sit at a desk at an office at 9am I’d be stricter and manage to march him off to daycare. When you work from home, they plead ‘but why can’t I just stay here and watch you work?” Sometimes, it’s hard to find an answer. The other day a friend said, ‘look he’s facing thirteen years of school, is it so bad for him to stay at home and enjoy having no rules for as long as he can?’. Because I suspect that’s a lot of it: he wants to do what he wants, when he wants, and doesn’t like being told when to play, eat, rest and all of it. However, that is also part of life, learning to live by some rules at least! So, wish me luck, as we roll towards ten a.m…..will I get him there without the meltdown at the gate?

Posted by gigi, 31st July 2013

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