Sitting on the lounge contemplating and comparing my first two births and dreaming of the next birth story I get to share with family and friends in a few months time.
I was 21 when I had my first child. Clueless, naive, scared, my mum driving me up to the hospital, because my partner at the time, wanted to sleep. It was 4am.
After a few hours of pain, I made the rash, naive decision to have an epidural. And then laid on a bed for the next 8 hours waiting for contractions to start again so I could push my son out.
During this time my sons father was tag teaming with my mum on keeping me company in the birthing room. While I struggled to rest and cope, he sucked on the gas and told me it’s supposed to hurt’, when I cried out in pain. Would leave for required smoke breaks, and pretty much ran out the door for the congratulatory ‘wetting of the baby’s head’ not long after I have birth.
Now that was an experience that I would never want to have again. And I held off for 7 years before deciding to have another child.
The next time I wasnt going in to that birthing suite without being armed with knowledge and a stronger pain threshold. And, I was scared that this child’s father would be much like my son’s father, and not be the support that I needed.
I read books and researched on pain relief techniques. I spoke to countless midwives and asked my friends their own stories.
Second birth – My then partner, now husband, was the most amazing person in the delivery suite. While I moaned and groaned, banged my fist against the wall, swore and stood/knelt/rocked/laid in the shower (for the entire birth), he never once left my side. He held me when I needed to be held, and stood right beside me offering words of comfort when I felt like I could not go on. In the shower. Fully dressed. For 6 hours!
He supported my decision to not have any pain relief, although he hated seeing me in so much pain. More importantly he understood why and never tried to change my mind.
When I thought I couldn’t take anymore, and the midwife suggested I get out of the shower and onto the bed, we began to move out of the bathroom when I felt the need to push.
Too tired to stand he held me up while I birthed our child in the bathroom, with our new daughter almost landing on the bathroom floor. (The midwife ran acrosss the room just in time to catch her).
In a few months I will give birth to our next daughter, and for the first time I have no worries or concerns as to how I am going to handle the process. For the first time I am excited to give birth, because I know whatever happens I will have the right person beside me.
Posted by hologro, 10th June 2016