Going from one to two kids - not as easy as I thought.

8 Comments

Everyone says that the second child is easier..you know what you are doing this time, you will be more comfortable and less anxious..I am the odd ball then as I am the opposite. With my first she was sleeping through the night by three months, sitting by six months crawling by seven months. I was taking her out and socialising and felt so comfortable breastfeeding untiI I returned to work at ten months of age and weaned her off.
My second child is nearly eight months old, still does not sleep through the night, has no sleep routine (as much as I have tried), and is only just starting to sit up by herself. I decided to stop breastfeeding at six months not because of work this time but because I felt so uncomfortable this time, I felt like I was getting depressed and needed more space, and then felt terrible for feeling that way! Space from your new baby! Who thinks like that! The house is always a mess (thanks partly to my two year old), we live on take out half the time as I can’t be bothered cooking, I hate going out and have started losing friends because I keep cancelling or just making up reasons why I can’t see them, “I’m unwell maybe in a few weeks I’ll let you know” and then never messaging them back. I feel like I just dont know what I am doing half the time and I wonder how I did it the first time? And now my two year old won’t sleep at night either! It feels like everything is going backwards!
I have joked with friends that I am not having anymore kids as I can’t even handle two! I then laugh it off as they proceed to tell me they want to have three kids or how well their two children are going! And no I’m not angry at them for saying comments like that-they have no idea what I am going through because I am too embarrassed to tell anyone.
As for my poor husband, he works usually six days a week and long hours and I nag him to help me more and look after the kids more and get up in the middle of the night as she is crying and then I am crying, as I’m saying these words I know it’s not fair on him, he needs his sleep so he can drive safely to work and do his job but I can’t stop myself because I feel like I am at breaking point!
I feel like a failure, as a mum as a wife and as a friend. I know that one day I will hopefully wake up and everything will be better, my daughter will start sleeping through and reaching her milestones and I will finally have energy to cook my husband a proper tea and visit friends.
I am writing this story so that if there any other “odd balls” like me that they know that aren’t the only ones (or maybe it is just me?).
And yes I love my family, I think that is why I cry so much, I love them so much it hurts that I can not be good enough for them, I feel they deserve better then this and no idea how to do that.
Please keep your fingers crossed for me xx

Posted by dbhall82, 15th September 2015

8 Comments

- - mom94125 said
  - 29 Dec 2015
    4:52 pm
each child is different to the one before. one day it will settle down!

- - mom74073 said
  - 18 Sep 2015
    1:18 am
I too struggled with my second. He pretty much cried non stop for the first year. I felt like I had no idea what I was doing and felt at times that having a second child was a mistake. But! Now we’ve finally turned a corner! He is now 2 and has settled a lot. I finally sought help and am speaking to a counsellor. Putting him into daycare once a week has helped immensely (the eldest is at school) so I have time to myself for a few hours. Please if you feel you aren’t coping, either see your gp or call your states parenting line. Do this for yourself, your marriage and your children. Big hugs to you mumma you’re doing the best you can, but something needs to change xxx
- dbhall82 replied
  
  18 Sep 2015 , 2:42 pm
  Thank you SO much for sharing your experience and your advice, I have now shown my husband this story and we have talked openly and honestly about what steps to take xx
  - mom74073 replied
    
    18 Sep 2015 , 9:24 pm
    
    Oh I’m glad I could help! So glad you spoke to hubby as well. Hopefully he’s supportive (mine wasn’t much but he’s better now) good luck & always remember you are not a failure xxx
- - BellaB said
  - 17 Sep 2015
    8:34 pm
I think perhaps you need medical help.
- dbhall82 replied
  
  18 Sep 2015 , 2:43 pm
  Thank you For your advice I appreciate it x
- - bec101 said
  - 17 Sep 2015
    8:09 pm
Oh u poor thing. I hope things get better for you. It will get easier as they get older. And it does feel like it will never end. I have 2 kids and work 4 days a week and feel like I never ever stop.
I’m sure you’re doing a wonderful job beautiful mumma!
- dbhall82 replied
  
  18 Sep 2015 , 2:40 pm
  Aww Bec what a beautiful thing to say, thank you so much for your sweet kind words they mean a lot xx