I am only 52 years young, I have been suffering back problems since I fell on wet marble onto my coccyx bone when I was about 16 yrs old. I had chiropatric help over the years, but about 15 years ago I went to work with a cold leg and I was in severe pain. Eventually I was diagnosed, after moving interstate, as suffering with damage to my L3/4 and L4/5 vertebrae, severe true sciatic nerve problems, I have osteoarthritis all down my spine from the neck down. I have had 2 operations on my back and i am on shocking medications. Over the years I have had various types of morphine medication from liquid morphine to tablets, to industrial strength Oxycontin, and now I am on a cocktail of medications to get me through the day.

My hubby is absolutely wonderful, he does the cooking, and he does his best. He has to do all the housework, work outside and we are on 2 acres. I get frustrated because I can’t help at all. I can’t do anything, so I started a website selling discounted products in affiliation with other businesses. this gives me something of interest to do or I will go crazy. There are times i just sit and cry for hours. I feel depression hitting me so I go and see a psychologist for help, I come good. That happens about every 2 years. A couple of years ago I thought of suicide as I was at my wits end. Its awful when you want to do something but pain stops you. Now I spend more time with some of my grandkids so I wouldn’t think of that again.

I am at my wits end again. I won a holiday to the states and mexico for 21 days. We need to pay for airfares and some meals. We need to raise $10,000 for the two of us to cover the airfares and spending money, some port fees, I really want to go. I lost 34kgs to go on this trip, but I am terrified we won’t save the money as we are only on pensions, that is why I started my business All Bargains and Discounts. We need people spending money for me to earn commissions. I don’t know if we can get a loan for the money. The pressure of that, the pressure of the pain is driving me mad. My pain is so bad, i wish I could click my fingers and make it all go away. I have to learn to live with the pain, but as things are, it makes it very difficult. My poor hubby cops it from me.

I started up a Chronic pain Sufferers Support Group on Facebook, but I don’t like to whinge about it to them all the time. If you have any hints, please let me know….. Thank you for allowing me to vent, if anyone can help, I would appreciate any advice I can get. xxx dee

Posted by dee lindsay, 28th July 2014

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  • I have osteoarthritis daily pain is always a struggle to deal with. I’m still looking for something (other than prescribed medication, which I try to avoid) that works for me


  • I suffer with TN so I hear you. Pain can make you think of terrible things just to stop the pain…but it starts the pain for the ones left behind. Hang in there.


  • Back spin is the worse. My husband suffers from AS and some days he can’t move.

    • I am so sorry your husband suffers so much. Chronic pain is so misunderstood, because I don’t have a bandage around my arm, or plaster on my leg, people don’t see me as a sufferer. I have bone on bone on my L3-4 and L4-5 vertebrae.
      I also have osteoarthritis just behind where the bra strap sits, and in the neck.

      I suffer terrible sciatica too, and now I had some tests done, I need a CT scan and a colonoscopy, blood in my bowel.

      If your hubby or any other sufferer needs help, we have a chronic pain support group on facebook which has heaps of men and women. It is called: Chronic Pain sufferers Support Group. I, Deanne Lindsay am an Admin as well as Deane Cavendar. Please send me a message if you need any help.

      Best wishes,
      Deanne Lindsay


  • I also have chronic pain i have Calcification Tendonitis in both shoulders which are now both frozen to add to it.
    I really hope you can find the money to get away on your trip it sound like you and your husband really both need it.
    Good luck

    • Hi Kelly,
      thank you for your wishes, we are trying hard. I know exactly how you feel with your shoulders. About 30 years ago I was nursing in a private nursing home. They had patients upstairs for the world to see, which was lovely and bright, then they had the patients downstairs who no-one saw. No relatives, they were there waiting to die. I begged for help to take one of the men to the toilet, no-one would help, they didn’t like working with those patients. Didn’t give them any dignity. So, I had to take him by myself. As I lifted him off the chair to put him on the toilet seat, he moved and I dropped him down. He was ok but I hurt my shoulder. The pain was horrendous. I ended up with a frozen shoulder, multiple cortizone injections into the joint. About 15 manipulations under general anaesthetic, and 1 operation to clean out the joint and fix the tendons. My arm was not usable, the muscles just deteriorated I could put my hand around my arm. I fell pregnant, and then the surgeon called me in. He wanted to operate again. I told him I would have to put it off a month, I was due to have a baby then. So the pig sent a letter saying I was fit for work. His idea was if I could fall pregnant then there wasn’t anything wrong with my arm. I was suing the nursing home as they sacked me after I went off on sickness. The surgeon then took off to New Zealand. I was so angry. When I had my little girl, she was only 6lbs 8ozs, so tiny, that as she grew, it strengthened my arm muscles. So she was the one who helped me heal. Because of the surgeon, I was tired of everything so I settled, the judge believed that a woman should be pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen. He didn’t believe in women working, so I lost around $100.000 payout, I only got $30,000 for 3 years in agony, not being able to work for 5 years. My legal fees were over $10,000, I had to payback the sickness benefits, so all I ended up with was $10,000.

      In relation to all my pain, I went to my GP yesterday. I fell apart, I had been so sick these last few days, the headaches got worse, my eyes were itchy and weeping, and my pain was out of hand. He never saw me like this, I am usually seeing him once a month, get my scripts and go home. 2 hours I was in there. He increased one medication, told me to have 2 panadol with the Methadone as most of the time it works better together, he took blood, wee test and worst of all, he injected a local anaesthetic into two spots at the base of my skull. He wanted to numb the nerves. So I had one injection on each side of my head. it worked, my head felt lighter, my headaches eased and it even helped my eyes. Today I am resting even though I am on the computer.
      I am really impressed by my GP, he is great. He used to work with Cancer patients, so he knows pain.

      I have the pain support group on facebook Kelly, and anyone else who wants to join. We don’t whinge, we support eachother with everything, we become good friends, help eachother whether it is a problem or just a normal question. Everyone is welcome to join us.

      Thank you again Kelly, take care and hope your shoulders get better soon. I am thinking of you.
      xx Dee


  • Thank you so much for your lovely comments and support. Kathryn, I have been on liquid morphine, morphine capsules (Kapanol), oxycontin, oxycodone, tramadol, and many others including a mixture of the lot. There was one stage the Pain Management unit had me on Liquid Morphine, Kapanot, Tramadol as well as depression tablets and a few others, after a couple of years your body gets used to the medication and stops working. I have been to physiotherapists, had 2 Wallis’ inserted in between my vertebrae. My vertebrae are bone on bone in L3-4, and L4-5. The wallis is a plastic device that sits in between the vertebrae and against the spine then tied around the spine. I was in hospital for around 8 Weeks. After 12 months, my body rejected them so they had to come out, I am still having problems and that was in 2007. I am now on the following pain medication: Methadone (maximum dosage), Lyrica, Tramadol, Oxycodone (endone), Panadol, as well as 4 other types for other bits and bobs. The physio cannot do any more for me, the surgeon said I cannot do any exercises. I occasionally have laser therapy for my legs. My sciatic nerve gives me complete agony, I can follow the nerve as it is painful from my bottom down to my big toe. I get help for depression every 18 months or so. I can usually cope for around 18 months, then it gets too much, the big black hole shows its ugly face.

    Luckily I have the most wonderful husband who helps. He is my full time carer. Due to all the medication over the years, my teeth are shattering, so I am waiting now to have the whole lot out at once. I have had a couple taken out, but they need to knock me out completely. I have lost 34 kgs to help, I try to walk but the pain gets too much.

    I have tried just about everything, except shark fin soup. That will not go down. I fell on wet marble when I was 16 and fell on my coccyx bone, so they believe that was the start of the problems. I couldn’t sit for weeks. Now I have osteoarthritis from my neck down.

    Last night I was eating dinner and hit a nerve on one of my back teeth, the pain was horrendous. Today the whole side of my face is almost numb.

    I am usually ok, but when I am stressed, the pain is worse, which is normal behaviour. I just get to the stage when I have had enough, I can’t cope, then when crying, I have my hubby by my side, and my cat and dog usually come on my lap too. Which is just gorgeous. Building my new online discount shopping website All Bargains and Discounts has been wonderful, it keeps my mind busy and gives me something to do. The normal stresses of life are hard to deal with, and not knowing whether we will get away on this holiday makes it harder. The trip is for 21 days for 4 people, we are taking some dear friends with us. First, we go to Orlando, Florida, for 6 days, 2 tickets for 2 days at Universal studio’s or Disney World, or 7 days car hire. Then we go to Fort Lauderdale, board a Carnival Cruise Ship to the Bahamas for 3 days, a day spent somewhere in the Bahamas. Then back to Fort Lauderdale for a couple of Days. Then we go to Peurto Vallerta in Mexico for 5 or so days, then to Las Vegas for a few days. As I said, it was for 4 people, most meals are provided, only have to pay for flights, some lunches and dinners and some taxes. We worked out that mick and I need around $10,000. The flights to Orlando range between $1400 to $1800 return each, then there are flights between the different places. Spending money and incidentals. We need passports, visa’s etc.

    We have until June 2016 to take the trip, they extended it by 12 months to allow us to save. It is hard to save on a small pension. That is why I opened my website. I am hoping people go there to buy goods.

    Anyway, thank you for allowing me the opportunity to vent, the main reason I wrote was to let others know they are not alone. A couple of ladies from the States and I started the support group on facebook – Chronic Pain Sufferers Support Group. We have been going now for around 5 years, and have almost 200 members. It helps talking to them, but more importantly for me, it is great to help others. We prevented at least 2 ladies from committing suicide. They were so close, one said goodbye to us, we had people who lived a couple of states away ring the police and they reached them in time.

    If there is anyone out there that needs help, I am here for you, whether it is help to start your own online business, or to help cope with pain. I am just going through a tough and rough patch. We all go through those weeks. The weather has a lot to do with it. My hubby says he is going to put a pole up my backside and put me in the front garden as a weather vane, I am usually more accurate than the weather man. We have a low pressure cell right over us at the moment and have had severe weather warnings for the last few days.

    Thank you again and I look forward to a good patch.
    xxx Dee


  • I hope you manage to save enough in time to go on your holiday and you find a solution to your back pain, I can’t imagine the pain you must be in.


  • Having dealt with chronic and acute pain for years, and other health problems, I was eventually diagnosed with Depression. I spent some time in hospital being treated for it, so I know exactly what you are going through, as financial problems made it worse for me too. Pain and depression are what I call “invisible” illnesses, as people can’t see them. To some people, if you look o.k., then you must be o.k., and you & I both know that just isn’t true. By the sounds of it, this holiday is just what you need, so investigate all options for getting the money so that you can go & enjoy the holiday that you won. It will do you the world of good.


  • I ruptured a disc which was applying pressure to the sciatic nerve. At one point it cut off all feeling and there was some permanent nerve damage. I also did damage to two other discs. I spent years having physio therapy and learnt to cope and have exercises to do when I have flare ups. Then, two years ago when I was pregnant I evened out the other side – the Doctors said they hadn’t seen anything like it before and commented on how fascinating it was. In the meantime I was in agony. Some days are worse than others but I find that regular strolling works and also different stretching exercises. It may be worth seeking the advice of a physiotherapist (instead of a chiropractor). My doctor also prescribed Tramado SR which are a slow release pain killer – great for night. And a good dose of humour often gets me through a tough day.


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