I am only 52 years young, I have been suffering back problems since I fell on wet marble onto my coccyx bone when I was about 16 yrs old. I had chiropatric help over the years, but about 15 years ago I went to work with a cold leg and I was in severe pain. Eventually I was diagnosed, after moving interstate, as suffering with damage to my L3/4 and L4/5 vertebrae, severe true sciatic nerve problems, I have osteoarthritis all down my spine from the neck down. I have had 2 operations on my back and i am on shocking medications. Over the years I have had various types of morphine medication from liquid morphine to tablets, to industrial strength Oxycontin, and now I am on a cocktail of medications to get me through the day.
My hubby is absolutely wonderful, he does the cooking, and he does his best. He has to do all the housework, work outside and we are on 2 acres. I get frustrated because I can’t help at all. I can’t do anything, so I started a website selling discounted products in affiliation with other businesses. this gives me something of interest to do or I will go crazy. There are times i just sit and cry for hours. I feel depression hitting me so I go and see a psychologist for help, I come good. That happens about every 2 years. A couple of years ago I thought of suicide as I was at my wits end. Its awful when you want to do something but pain stops you. Now I spend more time with some of my grandkids so I wouldn’t think of that again.
I am at my wits end again. I won a holiday to the states and mexico for 21 days. We need to pay for airfares and some meals. We need to raise $10,000 for the two of us to cover the airfares and spending money, some port fees, I really want to go. I lost 34kgs to go on this trip, but I am terrified we won’t save the money as we are only on pensions, that is why I started my business All Bargains and Discounts. We need people spending money for me to earn commissions. I don’t know if we can get a loan for the money. The pressure of that, the pressure of the pain is driving me mad. My pain is so bad, i wish I could click my fingers and make it all go away. I have to learn to live with the pain, but as things are, it makes it very difficult. My poor hubby cops it from me.
I started up a Chronic pain Sufferers Support Group on Facebook, but I don’t like to whinge about it to them all the time. If you have any hints, please let me know….. Thank you for allowing me to vent, if anyone can help, I would appreciate any advice I can get. xxx dee
Posted by dee lindsay, 28th July 2014