My sister is victim of domestic violence. the person inflicting the verbal, emotional and sometimes physical abuse, is her daughter, my 13 year old niece.
Once I realised what was going on, I got my sister to ring the help for domestic volencr, and I’m very suprised to see how little help is available.
My sister can’t leave, because she can’t leave her daughter. She can’t fight back, as she isn’t strong enough mentally after being abused for so long.
The police have been involved, the only way my sister can get peace, is to try and get her strength back, or have she take her daughter.
I have tried speaking to my niece, I have stood up to her. But usually within a few days she goes back to how she was.
We are trying everything with can while waiting for them both to get counselling.

Posted by mum4107, 27th February 2016

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  • Call the police when there acts of violence, take photos of the damage. Make reports and document it all. If needed take out an apprehended violence order.


  • For this to be happening, I would be questioning the daughter as to what has been going on at school. It sounds like some sort of viscious cycle. The daughter sounds like she can be good for a few days so my key point would be that I beleive it would be hormone related aswell. If you give her pocket money than stop. She needs to be respectful and honest for a whole week before any pockey money, phone credit or anything else is just handed over. You are her mum, you need to set boundaries. Parental discpline is not illegal and don’t let her trick you into thinking that it is. Good luck.

    • Thanks for your response but it is not my daughter. My sister does not give her pocket money. The niece cannot be respectful for a whole weak. When she is refused something that’s when the violence starts. She smashes things, pushes, name calls etc.


  • What an unbelievably difficult situation, I sincerely hope you can all arrive at a solution soon.


  • It’s hard when it’s your own child/ren there are places like headspace that might be able to help with support and maybe and depends where you are there are some places through the hospital for support I have a worker for my son through the hospital that help children such as CAFS.

    • My children and I are domestic violence survivors.

      • Thank you. I will check those out.
        I’m glad you and your son are survivors


  • This s extraordinarily difficult; I’m not sure what you can do except support your sister emotionally.


  • Thank you. I am keeping as close an eye on them as I can.
    They have done concelling over the years, but the 13 year old refused to go in the end.
    Dhs can take my niece but of course my sister doesn’t want that as she is still her mother and still loves her.
    The police have done an intervention order and the other night she was taken to the police station and charged, but of course they brought her back home again.
    My sister can’t drive at the moment because she was pushed and broke her arm. They are trying to get a councillor to come to the house.
    The father is not around


  • I think you are doing the best you can to help your family,, You will be surprised over time how much counelling will help although it will take time.. It might also help your neice be able to open up about what is underlying her anger or if that is not the case for her to have a dignosis made by a professional… It might also be a good suggestion for the mum and neice to have sessions down the track without the other around so they can be open a honest without hurting the other person..


  • I’m so sorry that your sister didn’t get the help she needed. Is it because your niece is 13 and this type of violence is considered “uncommon”? It must be so hard on your sister. Also because it’s something ongoing. Keep an eye on them. And what about the father of your niece? Is he involved?


  • sounds like she needs to be hospitalised, and get some serious help! There are intervention services, talk to the Police – they have some great help and strategies

    • From my experience, the police are not always as pro-active as they should be. Plus the help they offer is temporary – you need a workable long term solution.


  • Intervention needs to occur and services should be assisting and supporting your sister. Violence is not OK and maybe look at all options for intervention. Your sister should not have to live this way. Women’s services should be able to intervene and also support in linking your sister with services. Keep trying until someone takes this seriously.


  • Sounds horrible! I wish you all the very best of luck and hope things improve soon. Good on you for speaking up.


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