That question! - Real Mum story on MoM

9 Comments

Every now and again when I meet someone new I get “that question”.. How many kids do you have? And after 9 years of being a mum, it still stops me in my tracks. Oh, I know how many I have, don’t get me wrong? But do I answer 3 or 4? I have 3 here with me, but our second child died when he was 4 months old, he would be 7. I just don’t know what to say sometimes, I desperately want to say 4, it feels wrong not to, but if I do I know what is coming next.. oh, how old are they? Then I have to go into the details, which some days I can do it easy and others I’d just look at you and cry. It’s taken me a long time to get over it being ok to just say 3 (even when my mind screams 4, I have 4 beautiful children) and when you do open up about it, you discover just how many people are in your position or know someone else who is. It is amazing how a simple question can be so much more than just that.

Posted by SpotstheCat, 27th September 2013

9 Comments

- - BellaB said
  - 29 Feb 2016
    10:40 pm
I have exactly the same problem. The way I answer depends on what day it is.

- - 3xmum said
  - 19 Oct 2015
    2:25 pm
I am not experienced in this matter.

It depends on how you would like to approach it and I would like to think if I was in the situation I would like to remember my Angel child. I would say I have had 4 children, one has become an angel and my 3 other children are ….. Ages. Then you have answered the question and given part of a story.

Hope you find the answers you need xx

- - mom94125 said
  - 23 Jun 2015
    1:39 pm
depends. strangers just tell them 3. your friends will all know your story. maybe plant a tree or something in memory of your child. i have lost a baby too and i always wonder what they would look like, what things would they like etc.

- - pakeko said
  - 17 Mar 2015
    8:30 pm
I can now say I have 3 and 1 angel baby, most days I can do

- - Michelle said
  - 29 Jul 2014
    9:20 am
Sorry that you feel you need to explain to other people. Bless you and your children.

- - aleishagebert said
  - 07 Mar 2014
    7:02 pm
I havent been in your situation, so I dont know how you feel, but saying you have 4 children then giving the ages of 3, some people wouldnt even notice!
- mom57522 replied
  
  07 Jan 2015 , 8:50 pm
  You know, you’re probably right!
- - omgjag31 said
  - 27 Sep 2013
    10:59 pm
I have not and hope to never be in your situation but I feel for you. I would say whatever I feel comfortable say and I am sure that I different for different people

- - andieharrie said
  - 27 Sep 2013
    4:01 pm
You are so brave i too lost a child I choose not to speak of him as others ont know how to react, he is with me in heart and soul, but I choose not o share as I end up comforting others over my loss, which often makes everyone uncomfortable.