Testing egg fertility

Initially, I was devastated for her. I was heartbroken and on the day she told me the news, I cried myself to sleep.

Charlotte* is the type of women who loves and adores children. She volunteers her time at a local primary school, she sponsors an Australian child to help fund school shoes and books, she sends care packages to children in third world countries and she simply loves other people’s children. Me, not so much. I’ve never yearned to have children, and when I was told a hormone imbalance would delay or quite possibly prevent me from having children, I was ok with that. As chance would have it, my husband and I fell pregnant after our first attempt at parenthood and we now have a 3-year-old daughter.

So why have I been able to have a child and Charlotte can’t?

Towards the end of last year and nearing her 40th birthday, Charlotte started reassessing her life. She has an amazing career, but she’d swap it for motherhood in a heartbeat. She hadn’t put her career ahead of starting a family, she simply hadn’t met the right bloke (despite being in numerous long-term relationships).

During an early morning appointment with her fertility specialist, after discussing her recent test results, he looked at her and said it straight, “Your eggs are stuffed.”

Charlotte was devastated.

Years before, she had major surgery to remove a tennis-ball-sized benign tumor from her left ovary. Sadly, the growth had stopped the blood supply to her ovary, so it had to be removed too, leaving her with one healthy ovary. At the time, she was overwhelmed with what this meant for her in terms of being able to have children. She was pinning all her hopes on the right ovary, and now it was ‘gone’ too.

The anti-mullerian hormone fertility test (AMH**) that helped determine Charlotte’s fate gave her an ovarian reserve of just 2.1pmol/L – a normal AMH level is between 14 and 30pmol/L.

A week or so later when Charlotte made the decision, by however means, to pursue her dream of becoming a mother, I offered her my eggs without hesitation. As grateful as Charlotte was, the answer from her specialist was no. I’m turning 44 this year. My once fertile eggs are now considered ‘geriatric’. It upset me that I couldn’t help a friend in need and I wondered if there was a slight chance that I had miracle, youthful eggs? Everyone says I am young looking, I didn’t start my period until I was 16, maybe my eggs have been well preserved also? I went ahead and took the AMH test nonetheless. I had to know if there was anyway I could help her. The hopeful suspense of the two week wait for test results was quashed when my GP told me I had low level egg fertility and my ovarian reserve was just 4.9pmol/L – better than Charlotte’s result, who is younger than me, except I have two ovaries.

With a six-year waiting list for a donor egg in Australia, Charlotte is taking her search for a baby overseas. There, using the same treatments as IVF patients, she will receive an unidentified donor egg and donor sperm.

I have everything crossed for Charlotte. Her hopes and dreams of becoming a mother are within reach. I wish you well my dearest Charlotte, I wish you a blessed and happy journey.

* For the time being, Charlotte would like to remain anonymous. I have changed her name to respect her wishes.

** The AMH test is a simple blood test that can be arranged through your GP. Charlotte’s specialist recommends testing your ovarian reserve in your 20s and early 30s. The test costs $60 and cannot be claimed through Medicare. He also strongly urges women not to smoke.

114 Comments

- - barch said
  - 28 Oct 2013
    10:52 am
I wish them the very best!

- - emilysparrow said
  - 23 Oct 2013
    5:07 am
Good luck to her. Hope everything goes well and results in a lovely baby.

- - yyon4699 said
  - 12 Oct 2013
    12:01 pm
I would do the same for my best friend.

- - meltingmoment said
  - 04 Oct 2013
    10:13 pm
I wish your friend the very best.

- - bankstownbrats said
  - 27 Sep 2013
    9:02 pm
I am thinking about getting this test as im 37 with four kids already but i would love to know how long i have till my chances are ver.

- - jocelynwong31 said
  - 26 Sep 2013
    10:27 am
wish your friend the best

- - omgjag31 said
  - 13 Sep 2013
    9:33 pm
Your a great friend and I feel for your friend

- - tanya goulding said
  - 11 Sep 2013
    7:49 am
Wishing Charlotte all the best and hopefully all goes well xxxx

- - kali111 said
  - 27 Aug 2013
    1:55 pm
Great friend I dont think I could offer

- - missangela said
  - 26 Aug 2013
    8:50 pm
You are a good friend to offer your eggs. Most people wouldn’t do that.

- - jaymarie12 said
  - 17 Aug 2013
    4:46 pm
My heart breaks for those ladies! There are so many people out there that deserve to have a family that can’t 🙁

- - sallty said
  - 13 Aug 2013
    7:42 am
Its very sad how some people who would make the most wonderful parents never get the chance.
- ginoula5 replied
  
  23 Aug 2013 , 8:22 am
  Couldn’t agree more Sally, I have a dear friend who would be an amazing mum, yet it is just not happening for her and her darling hubby.
- - Jodie said
  - 06 Aug 2013
    9:16 pm
When my husband and I married 21 yrs ago we thought having a family would just come naturally. But this wasn’t the case. So we did 5 ivf attempts and still no luck. It was explained to us after all the tests that it was unexplained infertility. But back then the technology wasn’t as good as it is today. And now we are too old to try. We still wish we had a family of our own, but it wasn’t meant to be and we just have lots of pets nowdays, we call them our four legged children
- missangela replied
  
  11 Aug 2013 , 8:24 pm
  Oh that’s no good I really feel for you. I bet you spoil your 4 legged babies.
  - lynzstevo replied
    
    16 Aug 2013 , 12:01 pm
    
    I’m so sorry you weren’t able to have kids Jodie. I love that you have filled your life with fur babies <3
- - vicky_guillaumier said
  - 04 Aug 2013
    7:45 pm
I only had to look at my naked husband and I would fall pregnant….lol

- - kjgarner said
  - 30 Jul 2013
    9:02 am
Thanks for sharing, hope everything works out for the best.

- - maureen3 said
  - 24 Jul 2013
    4:42 pm
Hope everything works out well

- - rachkap said
  - 22 Jul 2013
    3:12 am
It is so sad and hard when you are faced with fertility issues!
- a-edwards replied
  
  30 Jul 2013 , 1:34 pm
  It’s a difficult time for a couple to go through
- - premmiemum said
  - 20 Jul 2013
    10:27 pm
Thanks for sharing your friends story and best luck to her with fingers and toes crossed that she gets to enjoy motherhood

- - jenny9761 said
  - 11 Jul 2013
    7:41 pm
Thanks for sharing this story.

- - earthlydelites said
  - 09 Jul 2013
    10:47 am
how does one become an egg donor? I’m not geriatric yet and its something I’d like to look into.
- sjtierney replied
  
  23 Jul 2013 , 9:52 am
  Hi! The only avenue I know is through Queensland Fertility Group donor program.
  http://qfg.com.au/fertility-treatment/donor-program
  
  I guess it depends where you live? Maybe you could talk with QFG as a starting point?
  
  Very best wishes, SJx
  - earthlydelites replied
    
    06 Aug 2013 , 3:04 pm
    
    thanks for the information! I will look into it