The Dark Side Of Online Mum's Groups

Mum’s groups are meant to be a source of friendship and support, but what happens when they turn sour online?

The rise of the Facebook mothers’ group has seen the creation of a safe space where mum’s can come together to ask advice, share opinions and help each other out. As with anything online, however, there is always the potential for a few keyboard warriors to ruin everyone’s fun. As The Daily Mail reports, bullying in these groups is rife, revealing the dark side of these online communities.

A Sinister Side

Many major brands, including Kmart, Target and Big W, have a mum’s group created around them, sharing handy product hacks and helpful tips for making the most of what’s on offer. You would think that a few mums talking about a brand or store that they love would be innocent enough, but it turns out there’s a sinister side to the whole thing. Some mums have complained about ‘God-mins’ who kick members off the pages without reason or warning. Others have faced serious threats, with one mum told by a page administrator that her sons photo would be sent to a paedophile group. It really makes you wonder what kind of sick, twisted people are sitting behind those computer screens…

Constant Bullying

Many members of the online groups have said that bullying is a very real issue, with the page admins often ‘complete bullies’ themselves. “Never have I known such pettiness as what the admin of that group are capable of,” one mum said referring to an incident on a Kmart mums page. We think the whole thing is so disappointing. It tarnishes the very definition of what a mum’s group is supposed to be, made worse by the anonymity provide by technology and the internet.

We think heading down to your local cafe with a couple of other mums and chatting in person is the way to go – you’re very unlikely to have a faceless admin kick you out or threaten your child there!

Have you ever experienced bullying in an online mum’s group? Let us know in the comments.

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20 Comments

- - mom81879 said
  - 20 May 2019
    6:00 pm
I personally haven’t experienced it, I’m not a member of any online mums groups mind you. I have heard a few stories about mums getting a hard time though

- - mom81879 said
  - 29 Mar 2019
    7:14 pm
Yes! Some people are really cruel, unsympathetic and often just enjoy saying things to upset people. Just recently, I witnessed a lot of judgement and somewhat nastiness on a Facebook post by MoMs. That is the first time I’ve seen negativity towards a fellow mum I’ve seen on this site

- - youngoldlady said
  - 24 Mar 2019
    11:17 pm
I try to stay away from these groups as I do not need people who do not know me putting me down. Each time one pops up it is blocked.

- - mom74005 said
  - 18 Mar 2019
    9:23 pm
It can be a bit of a judgement zone

- - Blossom said
  - 04 Mar 2019
    11:45 pm
You may be able to block the group so they don’t appear on your page at all.
Not sure if you can block individual people from within a group.

- - mom343701 said
  - 03 Mar 2019
    6:05 am
gee sounds scary

- - curlytops said
  - 16 Feb 2019
    1:46 pm
I so agree with Mrs A comments.

- - MrsA said
  - 27 Jan 2019
    7:57 am
The trick to mum groups is to not give out more information than is required. I use mum groups to find out about events and classes that my children would enjoy. Other than the rough age of my children and a rough location, nobody needs to know anything more about me or my family.

- - skbou said
  - 03 Jan 2019
    6:21 pm
That’s disappointing. I’ve noticed undercurrents…..things definitely get lost in translation online when you can’t see a face but to have outright bullying, not on.

- - mom112217 said
  - 17 Dec 2018
    10:57 am
There is just no need for such behaviour!

- - BellaB said
  - 16 Dec 2018
    7:02 pm
I just avoid. Lurk for a while, and if they look horrible, leave.

- - ashna9 said
  - 16 Dec 2018
    6:28 pm
If they turn sour then log off. The easiest way to stop problems, fighting and trolls is to log off!
- mom93821 replied
  
  17 Dec 2018 , 6:17 am
  I agree – time is too precious to waste on negative and unkind people.
- - mom93821 said
  - 16 Dec 2018
    12:21 pm
Thankfully I belong to groups that are supportive!

- - mom153091 said
  - 16 Dec 2018
    8:59 am
As with everything a few mean/ outspoken people ruinnit for everyone. I think online groups are great but it is so hard to avoid bully behaviour.

- - Ellen said
  - 16 Dec 2018
    7:54 am
No, I haven’t had negative experiences.
At the moment I’m a member of an online T21 Mums groups and it’s the best !!

- - mom290396 said
  - 15 Dec 2018
    11:40 pm
I actually suffered anxiety every time I got a msg saying that someone had responded to my post! I was waiting for some form of abuse, or even just things that came across that way whether it was intended or not. The best thing I did was quit all the mums forums! Even now I sometimes get a little when someone responds to something I say, if I don’t know/recognise their names. My advice…. don’t sign up to forums

- - Mum2archer said
  - 15 Dec 2018
    10:55 pm
Mum’s groups can be horrible places. I was shamed when I couldn’t breastfeed anymore. I was devastated and turned to them for support, but instead I was shamed and told to keep trying, and I wasn’t trying hard enough etc. I was Trying so hard as I had planned to feed him for longer, but he was essentially starving and in the end I had to put him on formula. Surprise, surprise he thrived. I can now see that a fed baby is best, but being a vulnerable first time mum, I was confused and felt I must be doing something wrong. They can be a really bad place

- - becstalou said
  - 15 Dec 2018
    8:00 pm
I haven’t experienced it or see it but I’ve heard of it. Absolutely no excuse for judging and being nasty.

- - mom206279 said
  - 15 Dec 2018
    6:26 pm
Pretty much all online mums groups dissolve into judgy bickering and name calling. The best ones have good moderators who boot out nastiness and encourage mums supporting each other.