The not so fun times - Mouths of Mums

Today has been one of those not so fun times…

We started the day with such joy as we helped celebrate my eldest son’s birthday. He and his friends had a ball at the party and I celebrated how lucky we are to be surrounded by so many lovely parents and children.

Then the day moved on. The second half of the day was not joyful. Here’s what happened…

We got home from the party and my younger son, who had a little cough, suddenly began to breathe more and more irregularly.

We were about to drive him to the hospital, when he began to struggle for breath even more. We made a quick decision to call an ambulance. He was in moderate respiratory distress.

Many thoughts went through my mind. “Surely it’s not that bad.” Next, I thought ‘OMG, what if he stops breathing!’ Then I realised that to be in my best state of mind for my little one, I needed to accept what was happening and deal with it.

I don’t like it, I don’t want it, but it is what it is. I kept saying this to myself for the 6 hours we were in resuscitation A & E.

Fortunately, the doctors managed to stablilise his breathing with meds and oxygen. Meanwhile my little man was a trooper and barely complained the whole time. When his breathing stabilised and the lethargy lifted, he began to entertain the staff with questions. I knew he was on the mend.

We were then admitted to a ward. All was going well and my little trooper was fast asleep. He and I were exhausted. Remembering the advice of my midwife from all those years ago, I tried to sleep as he slept.

Each time I went to drift off I heard a piercing tone from a piece of machinery attached to my little boy, which drilled into my ear. At this point I was thinking, ‘what is that noise, can’t they turn it off? It’s my second night of little sleep. ’Why me? Why him? Why now?’ I could feel my shoulders and jaw tense with frustration. Noticing this, I began to feel more frustrated. So now I was feeling frustration about my frustration! I was moving on a downward spiral fast.

Then Dylan’s oxygen levels dropped. He was finding the mask very uncomfortable and so kept pulling it off. The nurses came in to tape a nasal cannula to his nose. He was woken up from his deep sleep and screamed at the top of his voice, “I don’t want this. I don’t like it. Get it off”. The nurses quickly did what they had to do and left asking me to lie on the bed with him to check the oxygen cannula remained in place.

He screamed and fought and screamed and hit and screamed some more whilst I held his hands from pulling out his oxygen supply.

I suddenly realised that this is why I am here. I turned to my little man and said, “My job is to protect you and keep you healthy and safe, and whilst you don’t like this (pointing to the cannula), it’s for you to feel better and it is staying in.”

He continued to fight and scream and hit for a few more minutes but I held my position calmly and firmly. He began to accept this to be true and to calm down. I then changed my tack and told him how brave he is and how brave he was when the nurses were putting the cannula in.

He quickly drifted off to sleep whispering, “I don’t want it mamma…”I felt a few tugs at my heart but I knew I’d done the best thing.

As I write this he lays peacefully asleep, oxygen in place, doing its job. As I look at him now, I feel the full joy of having him in my life.

My heart swells and tears well up in my eyes as I step back for a moment and recognise – THIS is the joy of being a mum. Being there in fun times, being there in times of distress and despair and times in between. This is my privilege as a mum. Knowing this and seeing him sleeping there in all his purity and innocence gives me immense pride and joy and now hopefully some sleep.

Have you ever had one of those not so fun days? Please share in the comments below.

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29 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 01 Mar 2022
    12:52 pm
Oh gosh yes and more then once.
Children in hospital and when my husband was battling terminal cancer. That made for some very rough days but we manage to make our way through.

- - aprilb1 said
  - 06 Jan 2016
    10:00 pm
I have been in situations like this with my boy who’s 5 except he is disabled and has no idea what is going on, we get no sleep as he doesn’t calm down as he doesn’t understand. Very stressful on him and us

- - mom160421 said
  - 30 Nov 2015
    11:14 am
I’ve never been in such a frightening situation with my child, but I think I’m always a little aware that anything can happen at any moment.

- - mom81879 said
  - 13 Nov 2015
    7:00 pm
When you have children, there tends to be quite a few not so fun times. Thankfully the really good times usually outweigh these!

- - 4littlemunchkins said
  - 28 Oct 2015
    9:48 pm
I have been incredibly lucky that none of my children have been seriously ill and ever needed a hospital stay. Both my older boys have had the tonsils out and yes watching them be put under for surgery was a not so good day.

- - hopefullyheidi said
  - 25 Oct 2015
    7:53 am
I have been in a similar position, and it is frightening. Trying to overcome your own panic and find that calm, strong voice for them is a battle, and I proceeded in much the same way as you did.

- - ella12 said
  - 20 Oct 2015
    3:57 pm
I was almost tearing up. I hope he is well now Dina. I wish you and your family all the best.

- - mom113055 said
  - 19 Oct 2015
    12:39 pm
i hope you cope well love it sounds very hard may god help you and your son

- - mom113055 said
  - 15 Oct 2015
    10:10 pm
the not fun times

- - Missey Grace said
  - 10 Oct 2015
    10:55 pm
This is when a mother does her best to protect their child. Wonderful article.

- - mom113055 said
  - 10 Oct 2015
    6:31 pm
the not so fun times

- - rovermum said
  - 05 Oct 2015
    10:25 am
I hope everything is fine with you and your family now. When things go downhill, I try and think positive thoughts and talk up how the day is going to improve. My husband recently had an anaphylactic shock for the first time in his life. It was an absolute shock and incredibly frightening, but he was amazing in articulating to me what was happening (based on his first aid experience) and the 000 operators were fantastic. Whilst I broke down once the ambulance had left, I felt confident that my husband was in good hands. I sorted out my son and then headed to the hospital where he was observed for about 6 hours and sent home. Whilst the day went downhill rather quickly, we had a good result at day’s end.

- - caland10 said
  - 05 Oct 2015
    12:05 am
Thanks for your thought-provoking and touching article Dina. I do hope your son is all better now :0)
- mom94125 replied
  
  23 Oct 2015 , 3:15 pm
  yes me too Dina. i think that this would make you appreciate the little things for sure.
- - meedee said
  - 04 Oct 2015
    3:48 pm
Its amazing isnt that we think that we are there to teach our kids but more often then not its our kids and the things they put us through that teach us so many things about the world and about ourselves.

- - robyn_smithwick said
  - 03 Oct 2015
    5:16 pm
This is a very thought provoking article. I felt a bit of this when I was told my third child , a gorgeous baby girl had congenital hip problems.

- - mom101628 said
  - 02 Oct 2015
    10:21 pm
A couple of really rough times with my children when two of them had bad eye problems that no one could tell us they were over the hump for another 15 years after the original traumas, but as someone else said – no matter how old they become, because they are your children you will fight for them with every inch of your life forever.

- - mom120166 said
  - 02 Oct 2015
    9:39 pm
Yes- when one of our twins at 6 months was diagnosed with a permanent hearing loss. I vividly recall the trip home from the hospital thinking of all the careers he would not be able to do – a musician seemed to be out, but then something kicked in and by the time we got home. I had accepted this was the way life was to be and decided consciously to accept in and support him as best I could. I did a lot of research to find out as much as I could about hearing loss and the support available. We received fantastic support from a range of services. Inexplicably his hearing improved over 3 years ( the professors could not explain it) and now his hearing is normal and music is his life!!! I learnt so much as result of this experience about life, myself and other’s journey’s.

- - Gorgeybee said
  - 02 Oct 2015
    8:05 pm
Miss 4 months gave us a big scare when she was 2 weeks old. I noticed her becoming very lethargic & refusing to wake for feeds. I took her to emergency knowing something was seriously wrong. They sent me home. I took her back the next day. They sent me home again. The third time I took her she was peripherally shut down and needed to be resuscitated. She was admitted to ICU & in hospital for a week before she was able to breathe & feed independently, and come home. Worst days of my life! But it does make you appreciate the wonderful blessing that children are.

- - mom74640 said
  - 02 Oct 2015
    10:32 am
Lke it

- - mom107723 said
  - 02 Oct 2015
    8:33 am
It doesn’t matter how old your children are that feeling stays there all your life.