The Parenting Question That Divides Mums From Non-Mums

The parenting question that really divides the mums from the non-mums.

One woman who’s chosen not to have children posted this touchy topic on Netmums.

Would you change your baby’s nappy in your friend’s living room?

“Am I being unreasonable?” the post was titled, and went on to detail her problem. A friend with a 19-month-old popped round to the questioner’s house, and mid-chat, when it became obvious the child needed a nappy change, simply got on with it.

“Friend proceeds not to break conversation but whip out a very small changing mat and some wipes etc,” explained the poster, “lay it all on the carpet and introduce fresh faecal matter into my front room.”

nappy-changing

“My digestive biccie now has a overpowering scent of poo accompanying it, and my other friend looks like he’s about to start retching,” she continued.

“I’m a health care professional, I get a liberal dowsing of other people’s bodily fluids on a fairly regular basis so I’m really not squeamish, but that just seemed rude and pretty rank to me.

“I get that you are probably completely immune to your own child’s effluence, but to expect others to find it as delightful seems unreasonable.”

Responses were quite divided.

Many agreed with the poster:
“I think it would have been polite of her to ask where she could change a nappy. I don’t think it’s particularly nice to have someone change a smelly nappy in the same room as you’re sat having a drink/eating (even if they are happy to do it at home, that’s their own choice!) The smell does have a tendency of lingering so it’s only polite to ask if there’s somewhere else it can be done.”

While others weren’t that impressed:
“Sorry, it’s one of those things that happens when you become a mum. You forget poo is offensive. I like to think I’d ask where to do the change in someone else’s house, but can’t guarantee it.”

and another was really annoyed:
“I’m a mum of two and would not bat an eyelid if another mum changed their baby in my presence anywhere. I can understand you don’t like it being done in front of you yet you did say being a healthcare professional yourself you deal with bodily fluids regularly so why would this offend you so much? I think it sounds like this has really been on your mind and clearly annoyed you enough to come on here and moan about it………….”

Ohhhh that’s a tricky one! I think at the time when my kids were little most of my friends had also had their own kids, so it was just natural to do it wherever.

But visiting some family members I often asked if it was OK. It really is the polite thing to do.

What do you think? Share your comments below.

16 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 02 Jun 2023
    10:39 am
No I wouldnt have done that. I would have said “xxxx needs changing. Where can I change them please?”

- - ella12 said
  - 31 Dec 2019
    5:37 pm
She should of asked her where she could go.

- - shanika said
  - 02 Sep 2019
    8:56 pm
I prefer to go to another room when i need to change the nappy.

- - rachel1970 said
  - 02 Sep 2019
    7:38 pm
I would have done it on the floor too but would have gone to another room. Honestly, if it was done to me I’d be fine about it. It’s just baby poo, no big deal.

- - rovermum said
  - 02 Sep 2019
    9:57 am
Ummmm, I actually can’t recall. I think I just did it on a change mat on the floor… but I also think most of the people I saw at the time were either family or Mums in the same boat. I can see this woman’s point of view. I must admit I wasn’t impressed when someone changed their child’s nappy on a cafe table next to me recently. I draw the line at that.

- - tessie said
  - 01 Sep 2019
    3:30 pm
I always went to another room to change my children’s nappies. Whether it was wet or dirty, it’s wrong to change a nappy in front of others especially where they serve food. So unhygienic

- - Ellen said
  - 01 Sep 2019
    8:07 am
I always went to the bathroom / out of the picture when cleaning my kids.

- - musicmum said
  - 30 Aug 2019
    11:57 pm
I personally would not change a nappy in front of everyone if I could help it, could have asked to do it in another room or bathroom would be more appropriate than staying in a room with people eating, not nice.

- - MisChip said
  - 30 Aug 2019
    11:32 pm
I actually have never thought about this. I always just change my baby’s nappy wherever is convenient. I wonder where she would have suggested would be an ok place for the nappy to be changed.

- - mom362408 said
  - 30 Aug 2019
    8:50 pm
Maybe shoulda asked if there was somewhere she would have preferred the baby changed but honestly where else would she have changed it? Would she have preferred to have it changed on the hard tile floors of a bathroom or the kitchen bench?

- - nealsq said
  - 30 Aug 2019
    11:18 am
Always check first, it is only polite
- Ellen replied
  
  01 Sep 2019 , 8:02 am
  I agree
- - mom152736 said
  - 30 Aug 2019
    6:05 am
I always ask people where can I change? Also when people visit me, I have a spare towel that I give them when they wanna change the nappy..to be used as a change mat

- - rnash02 said
  - 29 Aug 2019
    9:34 pm
I’d usually ask where I could change bub while visiting people

- - Ellen said
  - 27 Mar 2018
    4:23 am
I like to ask too.

- - mom90758 said
  - 26 Mar 2018
    1:42 pm
I think, no matter the house I am in, I would first ask “Where can I change my child?”
Maybe they are all right with me changing the child in the living room. Maybe they bring me to another one.