The tip you need to be the best Mother possible

Do you feel unappreciated as a Mum? Do you feel overwhelmed with trying to be the perfect Mother? Do you think that if only my kids were better behaved, I had more patience or I had more time then I would be a better Mum?

How many times do we feel these things and quite often all 3 at the same time!

Life as a Mum can be exhilarating, enjoyable and down right frustrating at the best of times.

I know and understand the warts and all of being a Mother as I am a Mother to four cheeky monkeys (as I call them).

I believe that we as Mothers all lead a very similar life journey together, from when our children are first born as we adapt to life without sleep and lots of worry. To trying to do the best we can with what little help we may have to raise our children into confident, happy and healthy children whilst dealing with all the ebbs and flows that life deals us.

As a fellow Mother, we need to let go of all these outside issues (and pressures) and deal with our own internal emotions about what is going on within us.

My husband says “Happy Mum, Happy Life”.

Over the past weekend, I had a major meltdown with my family! I was a screaming, illogical and crying mess! You know those times when it all gets too much and you just let it get the better of you?

Well this was me over the weekend.

I felt frustrated that no-one was listening to me, annoyed that I needed to do everything for everyone else yet no one would help me when I asked and exhausted from the constant pressures of trying to be the calm and best Mother that I envisioned myself to be!

After I had my much needed meltdown I felt relieved that I was able to get it all out, yet disappointed that it had come to this.

When I was able to step away from all the emotion, drama and my myriad of excuses I was able to look within to see what had led me to this meltdown! It was not the fact that my pre-teen and hormonal daughter was pushing the boundaries or that I needed to do a basketball, netball and soccer drop off and pick up. It had nothing to do with anything that was going on in the outside.

It had everything to do with what I was feeling on the inside!

On the inside I felt like I was not good enough (not a good enough Mother)! Which comes back to my old self-belief I have of myself (as a result of schoolyard bullying) that I am not good enough!

When I was able to see and understand that this was what was causing my outside meltdown I was able to deal with these internal thoughts to then rectify the outside situation!

At the end of the day, my meltdown would of happened regardless of what was going on in my life, because we all perceive and manipulate the outside to reflect our internal feelings! The demands of last weekend were no more or less than any other time in my life, I was just weakened on the inside by my internal emotions.

This is one of the biggest and important things that we as Mothers need to understand and address – our internal thoughts and emotional patterns.

Once we are able to fix the inside, then the outside will flow easier to allow us to feel more happy and capable with whatever is going on within our lives and our family unit.

What are you internal emotional thought patterns that keep you from feeling in control, confident and content with your life?

60 Comments

- - mom93821 said
  - 19 Dec 2014
    7:17 am
Thanks for sharing this article.

- - caramello said
  - 31 Oct 2014
    7:38 pm
thanks for sharing

- - mom57522 said
  - 28 Sep 2014
    9:20 pm
Feel good inside, feel good outside.

- - BellaB said
  - 26 Aug 2014
    12:05 pm
Well, sure. Of course how we think and feel impacts on how we act. But self awareness is easier for some people than others.

- - ginoula5 said
  - 06 Aug 2014
    8:42 am
Loved this article, really comes down to how you feel deep down inside, we all need to give ourselves a break 🙂 x

- - Kate Sander said
  - 29 Jul 2014
    11:05 pm
It’s not easy but it can be rewarding and we all need a break at some stage so it helps if we all have support from family and friends or partners so we can.

- - mggarner said
  - 26 Jul 2014
    6:32 pm
I agree “Happy Mum” “Happy Life”

- - mom68854 said
  - 04 Jul 2014
    5:55 pm
You think your the only mum who is not heard, respected, loved enough, not doing enough or the right way. But trust me we all feel this as our children test us. Not long ago I visited a fellow mum and she was losing her marbels when I knocked on her door. She was embarrassed that I saw and heard and then she.broke down. I smiled and hugged her tight and thanked her. She said why? I said cause I thought I was the only one who’s kids pushed too far ect.ect and I thought I was the only one who lost her.marbels. We all have our moments. But I wouldn’t trade any of them. Your never alone and all kiddies and family will make you feel like this some time.
- mom94125 replied
  
  06 Jan 2015 , 9:33 pm
  that is a beautiful comment. i would love to have a friend as understanding as you
- - mouse said
  - 02 Jul 2014
    8:51 am
I love being a mum, I try to never raise my voice in anger, but at times I need some time out

- - 3timesamum said
  - 16 Jun 2014
    1:44 pm
Being a parent is tough, and it should’t be underestimated or undervalued by society.

- - mom61907 said
  - 09 Jun 2014
    11:32 pm
It just helps to know others go thru times like this……..i find any meltdown i have had is that I am tired out and probably expecting too much of myself.

- - mom62662 said
  - 05 Jun 2014
    1:18 pm
I find my partner not helping as much as he should if at all dosnt help at all.. I know I shouldn’t but to cope with the stress and and feelings that I wasn’t good enough I started smoking again two years after quitting. What are some good ways to ask my partner to help more with our son with out him getting all defensive because hes the money maker.

- - robyn_smithwick said
  - 30 May 2014
    5:02 pm
some excellent comments posted here! I think all mums have to have a meltdown at times . I liken it to a relief valve on a pressure cooker letting off steam!

- - Gracelow said
  - 29 May 2014
    12:40 pm
Great read, thanks for sharing

- - christial said
  - 26 May 2014
    8:38 pm
Keeping everything under control but not be overly controlling. its a fine balance.
- debbie rosi replied
  
  30 May 2014 , 1:09 pm
  Agreed, it is a fine balancing act! Thanks for reading my article.
- - adriennetraynor said
  - 26 May 2014
    11:53 am
Thank you for sharing this lovely article.

- - twinmum2 said
  - 26 May 2014
    7:40 am
I agree happy mum, happy life is certainly true in our home.

- - tamandimmy said
  - 26 May 2014
    7:37 am
It’s so easy to lose it, when you feel everything is on top of you.. I find woman defiantly deal with everything and men pick and chose what they deal with.

- - someonemaybe said
  - 25 May 2014
    8:49 pm
I go through crazy emotional roller coasters. I always have to take a step back and rethink things. I always run through a positive of the situation in my mind, and that usually helps resolve the overwhelming over emotion. sometimes its tough and I feel like i’m not coping. that’s when I look to my mum, the strongest person I know.

- - rachaelchara said
  - 25 May 2014
    8:20 pm
A great article and I will keep this in mind.