One of the most beautiful things about becoming a mum for the first time is being able to tap into the knowledge of other mothers. And even better, the virtual mum village means there’s always a mum ready to offer sage advice, day or night.

Which is why we tapped into the extraordinary Mouths of Mums community to come up with an incredibly helpful, raw and honest list of things every first time mum should know, before their bundle arrives. We partnered with Elevit to bring you these important tips, because just like a mum village, Elevit has supported more than two million Australian babies over the past two decades.

Things Every First-Time Mum Should Know, According to Mums

This isn’t your ordinary list. It won’t tell you how many nappies you should buy, or which pram is best. This list is about being prepared for the unexpected. The things nobody really tells you, and new mums often have to discover for themselves.

1. You’re not supposed to know it all

While we’re told that motherhood will come naturally, it’s not always the case. In fact, it’s probably pretty rare that a new mum slots right into motherhood without a few bumps along the way. Remember that you’re learning to be a mum, and the best people to help teach you are other mums. That could be your own mum, a friend, or an online community like Mouths of Mums.

2. Boy and girl ‘bits’ can surprise you!

We just loved these tips from our mums – whether you have a girl or a boy, there are a couple of things that may catch you unaware!

“If you have a boy, make sure his bits are pointing DOWN when you put the nappy on!” – Jessica

Ah, yes – if you don’t do this, your laundry pile will grow very quickly!

“If you have a girl they can bleed due to your hormones scared me half to death.” – Bethany

In case you didn’t know, newborn baby girls can have some minor vaginal bleeding, which is perfectly normal. It’s like a mini period and it’s caused by the sudden drop in mum’s oestrogen.

3. You don’t have to be quiet around the baby

Of course, you can be quiet when bub is sleeping, but our mums say there’s really no need to walk on eggshells while your little one is in the Land of Nod. It may actually be helpful so they learn to sleep through all sorts of noise.

“Put your baby to sleep in noisy environments. It’s the best way to ensure they will sleep anywhere you need them to.” – Justine

 4. You may not know everything, but you have mother’s instinct!

Even though you might feel lost at times, especially in the early days, you should always trust that feeling that tells you if something just isn’t right. Whether it’s the reason your baby is constantly crying, or why you don’t want a particular person to hold your baby – this is your mother’s instinct and you should trust it.

“Mum of three, nana to seven here. Don’t feel forced into anything you feel uncomfortable with. Being a mum is a tough gig. Believe in your mother’s intuition.” – Jo

5. Go to that first Mothers’ Group meeting

When you’re in the throes of learning to breastfeed, navigating naps and keeping up with life admin, going to your first Mothers’ Group meeting is sometimes the last thing you want to do. But for so many mums, this group of women become a lifeline.

That’s not to say everyone is going to love Mothers’ Group. But give yourself the chance to make an informed decision by heading to that first meeting. You may just make friends who will be by your side for the rest of your life.

“Attend mother’s group and any support group run by the hospital. I loved attending Murdoch Mums (run by the lactation consultants at SGOG Murdoch). Plus I really appreciate the support I got from my mother’s group.” – Amanda

 6. You’ll truly never know exhaustion like the newborn stage

You’ve probably had plenty of people tell you already just how hard it will be, but it can be so much harder than you imagine. And that’s ok, you just need to be prepared to ask for help. It really is only a stage, and eventually you’ll sleep again!

“Most new parents think they have the best and easiest baby and then the honeymoon ends and the newborn all of sudden does not want to be put down or stay asleep. I work with new parents as a NCS (for over 20 years now) and consistently, new parents are shell shocked at just how exhausting and hard it is. They didn’t realise how much lack of sleep they would actually get and just how demanding newborns can be and that they don’t like to be put down. I think new parents would handle this stage better if there was more awareness of the first 12 weeks. Newborns are a beautiful blessing but can be so hard, especially if you have not had much to do with babies before.” – Louise

7. Your baby is learning too

While you’re learning to be a mum, your baby is learning all about life outside of the cosy little world they occupied for the last nine months. You may have read a dozen books about how to help them sleep, when to feed, whether their room should be in darkness during naps. But in the end, every baby is different and you’ll learn together what works for your family.

8. It’s ok not to be ok

As you and your baby are learning your new normal, there are bound to be things that go wrong. And that’s fine. You may feel like you’re failing. And that’s fine. But if you’re feeling overwhelmed, constantly sad and having worrying thoughts – please reach out for help. We’ve popped some numbers you should keep handy below.

“It’s ok to make mistakes, it’s ok to have had enough and not want to be a parent sometimes.” – Deborah

“If (ie WHEN) you have those dark thoughts on those long hard stretches that you’ll walk solo… please remember – EVERYONE has those thoughts (even if they won’t admit it), you’re NOT weird, you’re NOT bad, you’re NOT a bad mum…. Just take a breath, take a few (hundred) if you need, and walk away for a bit – bubba will be fine while you take a minute to protect the baby’s support system and food supply – seriously! The more screaming they do, the stronger you know that kid is to be able to withstand a few minutes on his/her own while mumma (or dadda) collects themself! And don’t forget, you CAN do it and only you can decide what works for you and your bubba – just be kind to yourself,” – Paula

Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia (PANDA): 1300 726 306, Mon to Fri, 9am – 7:30pm AEST.
Pregnancy, Birth and Baby: 1800 882 436 (free call), 7 days.
Lifeline: 13 11 14, 24 hours / 7 days.
Australian Breastfeeding Association: National Breastfeeding Helpline: 1800 MUM 2 MUM (or 1800 686 268), 24 hours / 7 days.

9. If all else fails, just hold your baby

Your smell, your heat beat, your warmth – you are your baby’s safe space. Never feel like you can’t comfort or soothe your baby, you simply can’t spoil a newborn with too much love and snuggles!

10. It get’s easier. Promise.

It may be cliche, but it’s true that the days are long but the years are short. And you will one day look back and realise how quick it went by. You may even miss it! And you’ll have a wealth of knowledge to pass on to the next first time mum you meet.

“Every day gets a little bit easier, life won’t always be this intense.” – Vicky

11. Your nutrition is important if you’re breastfeeding

Did you know your nutritional requirements during your breastfeeding journey are greater than during pregnancy? As breastfeeding makes a lot of demand’s on a woman’s body, a specific breastfeeding supplement can help to ensure you’re getting enough of the important nutrients for both you and your baby. Try a multivitamin and mineral supplement designed for women who are breastfeeding, such as  Elevit Breastfeeding , which contains essential vitamins and minerals, such as omega-3 DHA, betacarotene, zinc and vitamin D, to support your baby’s brain, eyes and ongoing healthy development and mum’s breast milk production and immunity.

Elevit Breastfeeding supports baby’s healthy development. Always read the label and follow directions for use.

If you found these tips helpful, we’d love you to share them with an expecting mum. We’d also love you to share your tips in the comments below.