Surprisingly...It's Not Kids Who Stress Out Mums The Most

Studies reveal that mums think their partner is a bigger source of stress than their kids…

Raising kids isn’t easy, but it turns out that dealing with your partner can be even more difficult. Studies have shown that nearly half of mums believe that their partners cause them more stress than their kids do, often due to the way that parental responsibilities are shared within the family.

Taking Time Out

Mums were found to have less than an hour of leisure time per week resulting in high stress levels, while dads had over 100 minutes of time to themselves. Multi-tasking was also found to increase the pressure on mums resulting in negative feelings and work-family conflict. While millennial dads spend nearly three times as much time with their kids as previous generations, many parenting duties are still considered the responsibility of mums, leading to feelings of resentment between couples. The study says that dads can make small but meaningful changes to alter this dynamic and help balance the parental pressure.

Sharing the Load

Even though dads are more involved than ever when it comes to raising their kids, 52% admit that they change their child’s nappy less than their partner according to an article published on motherhood website Motherly. Changing your child, bathing them and dressing them increases the bond between parent and child, so dads this could be a good place to start if you’re trying to help out more. Balancing chores and offering emotional support are also ways to reduce the stress of parenthood and marriage, with effective communication highlighted as an essential part of helping mums to feel valued.

We think that most dads do an incredible job of juggling their responsibilities, but it’s always good to have regular conversations as a couple to ensure that no one is feeling over burdened and that parental responsibilities are shared equally as much as possible.

How do you divide parental responsibilities in your family? Let us know in the comments.

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54 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 10 Feb 2023
    12:05 pm
I always said that I was just like a single Mum but without the worries of having to also earn money. My husband was hopeless

- - mom101628 said
  - 13 Apr 2020
    10:50 pm
Sorry ladies, but I have a husband who constantly wants to help me and that can also be frustrating. He has always shared half the load and there hasn’t been a male/female job problem in our house. He is happy to take in the washing and iron it while I sometimes mow the lawns. It all depends on the person and how much you take things to heart I guess. Do believe things are better now than 40 years ago.

- - mom462038 said
  - 07 Apr 2020
    3:00 pm
This article is so spot on. I am actually right at this minute about to let rip at my last arse partner grrrrrrrr

- - mom461366 said
  - 01 Apr 2020
    9:03 am
As soon as I read this headline I knew what it was going to be about. My daughter has just turned one and I am going through this feeling of resentment at the moment. I feel like I do EVERYTHING. I can occasionally get my husband to change a nappy, rarely get him to give her a bath. The list goes on and I am exhausted. I do appreciate that he goes to work to support as (lucky to still have a job with covid19, unlike many others).

- - threeplusdadandme said
  - 01 Mar 2020
    8:50 am
I completely agree. If I ask my partner to change a nappy, he chucks a tantrum like a 2 year old. Also if I ask for some time to myself, I end up looking after the kids anyway and can’t do my stuff. Oh, the luxury of being able to sew is so distant

- - Kjjddl said
  - 01 Mar 2020
    3:52 am
Hmmm yeah agree. Left that and comes back in more stressed than ever. Feelings change and how to tell them.

- - DaffyD said
  - 23 Feb 2020
    11:38 am
My stress left so my kids and I are happier than ever

- - tessie said
  - 12 Feb 2020
    3:14 pm
I found this article very interesting and just about everything sounded like my household when the boys were little. My husband would change nappies but I had to make sure disposables were on hand.

- - mom160421 said
  - 12 Feb 2020
    11:55 am
I have to agree with this article.

- - rovermum said
  - 12 Feb 2020
    9:18 am
I would say other parents stress me out more than anyone. I parent, with my hubby, the best we can to reflect our morals and values. My greatest parenting challenge and stress has been managing my son and raising him against the values of other parents that don’t match ours – different rules around life, social media, teenage drinking, bullying, care factor. It is a challenge every day and so hard to stay true to yourself. However, we have raised a fantastic young man in spite of those challenges.

- - mom321515 said
  - 11 Feb 2020
    11:27 pm
By entertaining the kids when I’m cooking tea, or taking them for a walk on a Saturday morning so I can get a sleep in!

- - BellaB said
  - 11 Feb 2020
    7:12 pm
Sometimes my husband does less of the parenting, but he gives me a bit of extra support through things like a cooked breakfast in bed most days.

- - nadine_hill said
  - 11 Feb 2020
    1:38 pm
I always used to stress when we both worked as I had the responsibility of running/cleaning the house, paying the bills, etc … but, now I’m at home full time, I don’t begrudge taking on all of the housework (and gardening), so we both have the time to relax at the weekends.

- - celebrity said
  - 11 Feb 2020
    10:39 am
My hubby has more leisure time. Admittedly he will wash up, mow lawns put a load of washing on but then its like he’s done his bit! I’d agree partners stress women out more than kids and I don’t think that will ever change.

- - sars_angelchik said
  - 11 Feb 2020
    10:26 am
I must say that I do tend to agree with this to a certain degree. My hubby does leave everything to me- I’m the one who does the school run, plans all the lunches, does all the washing and cleaning, cooking. His one task is to clean the kitchen each night and empty the bins and he struggles to actually get this done amidst doing all the things he wants to do.
That being said, I manage and I’m not sure I’d say he stresses me out more than my kids because sometimes just a trip to the shops to buy groceries with them ends in me just about pulling my hair out with all the want, want, wants. I don’t even know why they do it because I don’t spoil them at all!

- - ThisIsMe said
  - 11 Feb 2020
    10:17 am
The only leisure time my hubby has is going to the gym. Apart from that we are always together. I don’t have my own dedicated “me” time because there is nothing I enjoy or want to do but it doesn’t phase me at all. Hubby helps all the time I am very blessed and he definitely doesn’t stress me out more than the kids!

- - mom407014 said
  - 11 Feb 2020
    10:10 am
Totally agree on my end. We both work full-time but I also have to take the burden of doing house cleaning and doing the things for my kids. He will do chores but I can’t say it’s half half as I do all the cleaning and most of the laundry.

- - mom459525 said
  - 11 Feb 2020
    9:42 am
My partner definitely has more leisure time then me. But with work and travel he does 14.5hr days so when he’s off, of course I expect him to do something to relax but also balance time with family and friends is the key.

- - Ellen said
  - 11 Feb 2020
    8:36 am
Yes my husband has more leisure time then me, but he works hard too. And no, I’m not stressed out by my partner

- - mom101628 said
  - 10 Feb 2020
    11:26 pm
My previouis partner was just so much hard work – these days I’m happy as.