what a communication mess…!

I think it could’ve been communicated better as she should’ve known it might have made her upset

That’s really sad. Layla may have been a little thoughtless not to discuss this with her brother and Pam, but it sounds like it was about the Grandmother not the baby that passed. Hopefully they will work it out by communicating and respecting each others wishes.

She should have had a discussion about it first. How awful!

Greg and Pam must remember the name that he and his sister both wanted was out of love for their grandma
This is truly sad allround. as now it’s involves the rest of the family
Forewarning could of adverted this

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 23 Apr 2023 , 7:29 am

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  I agree; forewarning and discussion was so important and clearly missed.

There appears to be a lack of sensitivity in a public situation.

Too many wrongs here and they don’t make anything right! There should be apologies all round and maybe you will all have to wait until the grief is somewhat less and the hurt has died down. Otherwise a close brother/sister relationship will be lost forever.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 22 Apr 2023 , 6:18 am

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  Yes I agree with you

Grief sometimes brings out a side in a person that is not rational. Did your sister/ parents deliberately try to blindside you and your wife or was it the shock of seeing the name? The comment your sister made was wrong definitely. There could have been some warning so you were both prepared. You should get your sister, her husband and your parents, his parents together and tell them that it was a shock the way it was delivered. You should apologies for your nasty comment too. Everyone was wrong at some stage of the gender reveal.

Not in the wrong, I would be furious, I to have been through child loss and I would be absolutely furious if my family called their child the same name as mine. I’m so sorry, that is just awful and wrong…

You shouldn’t have said what you did. But your sister should have had more tact! Perhaps using grandmother’s name as a middle name would have been a nice tribute to grandma and your elost baby. I am sorry for your loss.

I would absolutely be on his side. Maybe his sister could use the name for a later baby, but I absolutely think this is far too close. And cruel not to warn him and his wife.

I know families in whom the cousins have the same first name. Not unusual, however it could have definitely been handled much more sensitively.

Bizarre she’d still choose the name, but it’s a case of her choice you’d need to get on with it as plenty of girls will be called the same name, separate the grief over your child and there baby. Very childish of you to call her names yes your wife will be upset but a name isn’t for 1 person. So up to her what she calls her child.

Cousins can still have the same names though.

Very sad time indeed. I’d be very angry as well. His sister should have had the decency to checkin on him and his wife before doing the gender reveal. If it was me I’d use the name Victoria as her second name in memory of grandma and her little niece.

Maybe the brother should have ended up going with a different name when the baby was still born? I know that probably sounds mean. In all honesty I don’t think kids should be named until they are born. Not necessarily due to uncertainty, but so you can look into the face of what you’re naming. We had several names in mind for our kids and my daughter ended up being completely different from what we planned as our most loved name.

I can understand how you feel and she should have mentioned it to you quietly so it wasn’t such a shock. At the same time, you shouldn’t have reacted in that manner. You need to apologise for what you said but make sure she knows how much she has hurt you both. I’m so sorry for your loss and wish you and your wife all the best.

The name for the baby girl chosen by the sister is insensitive and I can imagine you & Pam are upset and hurt. And when we are hurt we can say things we shouldn’t say. I would apologize for the words you used, but express how inconsiderate she was and how hurt you are

I feel the reason to be upset but your response to it wasn’t right

She does deserve to be a mother and he shouldn’t have said that to her but the choice of name and no fore warning was inappropriate. Insensitive. The name has been used. Using it as a middle name would be appropriate.