Due to your sister speaking lies and twisting truth around towards your children, you had to explain and speak truth to them. It’s probably still very confusing for your children as it becomes a matter of he said – she said

What a horrible situation to be in. It sounds like they deserve each other. What awful behaviour from the sister and ex.

You absolutely did the right thing. I cannot believe that your own sister would carry on an affair with your husband. Then to be found out and continue on! I best she wanted him from the start. How confusing for the kids though, their Aunty is now their step mum.

You did the right thing. I cannot believe your sister would do something like that! I bet she had her eye on him from the start. I have two sisters and neither of them would EVER do something like that!

So what your ex is says is that its okay for you to be the shitty parent but not him and his new partner. Yeah right!
You did the right thing for you. The kids need to know the truth about what happened. Actions have consequences. Maybe get you and your kids into therapy so you can work through your and their feelings about the break up.
Your husband ruined his relationship with your children when he cheated behind you back. You did nothing wrong in telling the truth. Screw him and his fancy piece.

Definitely the right thing to share the truth with the kids. They’ll find out eventually and truth is far better then lies

Given the mum didn’t start it, and was just making sure the kids knew the truth I’d say she was in the right

It is good that your children know the truth now and that they heard it from you. You should make sure that they also hear this from the grandparents, so that it isn’t your word against your ex and sister. You don’t want your kids in the middle of this. Regardless, children are not naive, they will learn to recognise people for who they are by how they say things and how they act. Words are not everything.

The kids are placed in the middle of a conflict between adults: not a good place to be, very confusing and potentially damaging

The mum had no choice in telling the truth to her children. What a nasty sister!

Kids need to know the truth. I can’t believe her own sister fed the kids a lie about their own mother.

No, I don’t think you were in the wrong telling them the truth when they were being fed lies. Your children are entitled to know the truth and make their own decisions with that knowledge. Your husband should have considered that before he slept with your sister..

What a nasty piece of work the sister is. Obviously she doesnt care for the childrens emotional well being or she would have never said a word.
The truth is out so just leave it be now.

That’s a hard one I can’t get over how your sister had an affair with your husband then spin lies that you had an affair surly you older daughters had worked out already why their Aunty is with their dad

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 11 Aug 2023 , 7:45 am

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  The kids must have such conflicting feelings and hearing the different stories they must be confused of who is speaking the truth

I agree with some of the other comments, especially since I have been in a similar situation. I didn’t tell my kids the reason why I left their father. They ended up working it out on their own. Kids are resilient and they are more capable than we think they are.

I must admit that I was in similar circumstances, but I just told my children that what happened was between their father and I and that they were in no way at fault for our breaking up. Many years later they told me how much they appreciated not being pulled one way or another and that they had so much respect for my being silent at that time. They found out by their own observations what a two-timer their father was and we had and still have a wonderful relationship. Everyone has to work these things out for themselves, but in my opinion the children should be left as unscathed as possible in every way.

I can’t believe how you are being treated. In the first place, you didn’t say anything against him or your sister to your children. They are the one’s being the bloody a**holes. The worst one is your sister for saying anything at all. I hope things settle down for you and your children understand that their father does still love them. I think your sister is jealous that your children still love you and not her.

You poor thing. I am so very sorry this has happened to you. It is so unfair. Your ex and his now wife are the scum of the earth adults in this situation. You did the right thing in being honest to your daughters now that they’re old enough to understand. They need to know that you will always love them, protect them, and be honest with them, and now they do. I wish you all the best in your healing now that the truth has been revealed. And anyone who takes issue with what you’ve done… well that says a lot about them.

Nit really. I mean, when they are adults it will take two seconds to realise what happened when they see how their aunt is their step mum.

At that age, there was no need to tell the kids initially, but the mum ended up with no choice, once the sister began sharing lies with the kids