2 of my granddaughters were very fussy eaters. 1 only eating only chicken nuggets and nothing else. The parents said she won’t eat anything else so stopped trying. When she was abut 3, I suggested that we have 1 day a week when we would cook together. 1 week she picked mains and dessert and the next I did. We cooked together and because she cooked it and was proud of it, she used to eat everything on the plate. She now eats fruit, vegetables and meat. She is 22 now and has had a healthy diet since she was 3. If you let a child tell you what they want they will go the easy route. If they have a say, help with cooking and feel pride they will most probably continue on the right path. I also have a niece that used to tell her parents she hated everything except McDonalds chips. So that is all they fed her and at 5 years old had cellulite. So sad to see

My kids don’t eat vegetables. A lot of people judge me harshly for that. I am a single parent with a low income, groceries cost a fortune these days. If I dish up vegetables to my kids they will not eat them and I end up having to throw it all out (they destroy the food they don’t like leaving it inedible). So, I decided not to make food a constant battle in our house. I serve them what they like, they eat it, I don’t waste food and money and we are all happy. For those currently judging me, they eat fruit, yoghurt, cheese and some meats. They are incredibly healthy and are definitely not lacking in energy. We will attempt vegetables again when they are older.

MIL is not the one who can dictate the rules and should follow the cue of the parents

MIL was out of line. Especially when DIL explained the background to her it didn’t seem to help.

it should be encouraged to try new things but not forced

I agree that kids shouldn’t be made to eat foods they don’t like. However, I do think they should be encouraged to try things. Our rule is that you do have to try something new when it’s presented to you, but if you don’t like it, you don’t have to finish it. The kids know it will be presented to them again soon to try again, but then if they still don’t like it, I won’t ask them to try it again for at least six months. As a result, my kids are very willing to try new things because they know that if they don’t like it, they won’t be forced to keep eating it.

This divides my partner and I sometimes. She gets so angry when the kids refuse to eat something or even try it. Kids go through stages and I dont want to force our kids to try things or make them eat certain foods.

A tough one and healthy relationships with food is important! We would never force someone to eat something they’re allergic too and ultimately it’s up to the parents to determine the right choices. But would we support someone only feeding their kids fast food? There’s a balance and trying new things, food or otherwise, should always be encouraged. Not forced.

The MIL is in the wrong and she needs to apologise, also to your daughter. They are not her children and she needs to respect what you say. I’m so glad that your husband is on your side too. Maybe next time (if there is a next time) you go there for a meal, you could take a bowl of the food your daughter likes.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 23 Apr 2023 , 7:37 am

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  The couple being united and supporting each other is terrific.

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    • • Ellen replied
      • 23 Apr 2023 , 5:51 pm

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    I totally agree with you

The MIL crossed the line and needs to show respect.

I only ever asked that they try something that was on their plate and made sure there was plenty of what they did like on their plate too. Fresh cut cabbage was the order of the day as my children all liked fresh uncooked vegetables in preference to cooked and I wouldn’t blame them.

Your child, Your rules!!! If it was me I would be finding something the MIL didn’t like and put it on her plate and telling her she HAD TO EAT IT and see how she likes it!! I found when my kids were growing up they didn’t like certain vegies so I used to mash all left over vegies together and make “surprise burgers” with them. The surprise would be either a slice of tomato, a slice of cooked egg or mushroom etc in the middle or even 20c under the burger on the plate and sometimes nothing at all, they wouldn’t know until they had eaten it all. If they did eat it all then they got an extra 15 minutes of doing something special they liked. They are both now in the 40’s and there isn’t a vegie they won’t eat! And still love their surprise burgers lol

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 22 Apr 2023 , 6:22 am

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  Putting something on MIL’s plate what she doesn’t like…lol I like that !

Your child your rules. I like the idea of placing food in front of kids but not making a big deal about what or how much they eat. My eldest is a fussy eater but if I just put a plate down and not say a word, or if he says “i don’t like it” I go “thats ok up to you if you eat it” hes actually more inclined to eat things and try new foods.

I think the Mil was way out of line, your children your rules.

In-laws shouldn’t interfere with the parenting – here is the first issue. As to making kids eat, in some instances, yes, it’s not worth it. There are some foods that they genuinely don’t like. But, sometimes the child is just being fussy and refusing to try something. I will usually make my kid try something first and funnily enough, in many instances they have decided they were wrong and actually like the food. If you let your kid say no to everything you will have them eating only 2 minute noodles and that’s not good either.

I was forced to eat horrible food growing up you know like Tripe and liver haha
so this is why I never forced my kids to eat grouse food
Plus still til this day I cannot stand the smell of boiled cabbage makes me want to be sick lol

The MIL should step away. It’s not her child. Let the parents make the decisions and bring up the kids the way they want to. Foraging a kid to eat food they don’t like is not nice.

The mother in law was out of line and good on the dad for sticking up for his wife and daughter. Times have changed and we have all learnt that some ways are not the only way.

As parents we provide the food and it is up to our child to decide what they want and the amount they feel like eating.
Force feeding doesn’t help anyone, only causes more stress and anxiety around mealtimes

I’m in the same boat as the OP. I have eating disorders related to how food was treated, presented and forced upon me even when I was allergic to it.
OP and her husband should stick to what they believe to raise their children