What Disaster Awaits Me When I Return Home With My New Baby?

Even when I leave home for only a few hours, I have no idea what I’ll return home to – a volcano of dirty clothes topped off with a tornado of dishes. I’m off to give birth soon and I may be away for a few days. So who knows what kind of disaster awaits when I return home with my new baby in tow.

My list of labour concerns used to be extremely minimal –

Would I be blessed with a live healthy new baby to take home?
Would I be strong enough for birthing?

My Worries Have Grown

As my family has grown, so too has my list of worries. Most of which are really quite ridiculous!

For example:

What Will Happen To The Clothes?

If I hang the clothes to dry, and labour starts, will I have enough time to bring the clothes in before having to head to hospital to meet my new baby? Will they be dry in time? Will I even remember? And if I do happen to forget – who will be able to take them in off the line for me? I mean does my hubby even understand how to unclip a peg?

A Storm Inside the House

When I return home from hospital, will every single piece of crockery in the house be used and strewn all over the kitchen as it has been for the last few births? Will I be coming home to an absolute storm that needs a mammoth amount of work to clean up? Exactly how bad is it going to be this time around – and is there any way of avoiding the utter chaos I face post-birth?

No Clean Clothes

Is there a way of ensuring at least some essential clothing gets washed and dried in the time that I’m away? Realistically no one is going to run out of clean clothing. However, they will probably attempt to try on everything in the house after having a sip of water and spilling a drop on whatever it is that they’re wearing at the time. And their father will not only let them, but encourage them to each have ten wardrobe changes a day… I mean after all, that’s exactly what he does himself.

I know precisely what I face when I return home from hospital, and I don’t fear it just based on the volume of mess that I single handily have to deal with, but moreover the timeframe in which I will have to get everything straightened up in.

There’s No Time

Let’s face it, there aren’t too many hours between when you get discharged from hospital and when the midwife rocks up at your house to do checks on the baby and you!

Depending on how many people you have working against you at home there’s a real potential for disaster. And very little you can do to control it when one considers that you can’t force anyone to help out.

If the chaos didn’t start in an Instagram perfect home, then chances are you were already going to be running an unfair race against time to begin with! But there is hope, there is always hope!

Little Helpers

I know that no matter how bad the mess is that I face when I return home, I will have a tribe of little people ever willing and able to help straighten things back up again. They are such wonderful little helpers and I love the way they always assist me, not because I ask them, but because they want to join in whatever I’m doing.

Maybe that’s where the difference lies – when they’re with their dad, they copy his every move. They forget how to use a laundry hamper, don’t know where the dirty dishes go and in general just leave things all around the house in hopes that someone else takes care of their mess.

No ‘Servants’ Here!

Growing up, my hubby had a home full of ‘servants’ to take care of his family’s every want and need, so it doesn’t surprise me in the least that he still lives his life as though he has the same luxury at his fingertips.

Although my list of concerns may have grown over the years, so too has my trust in believing that situations always work themselves out. I mean they have done so up until now, so really there’s nothing stopping me from handling it this time around either.

And maybe, just maybe, it won’t be as bad as the last time… or perhaps I should invest in a gigantic wall hanging which reads “Hubby Darling, sadly there are no servants here to clean up your mess, please tidy up after yourself!”

Would your house be a disaster if you left it to have a new baby? Tell us in the comments below.

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27 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 02 Dec 2023
    11:17 am
oh I hear this lady loud and clear. My husband was hopeless.
I am now with a man who is Mr Amazing and I know would look after everything

- - Mumofboys said
  - 04 Nov 2020
    10:10 pm
This is so saddening that this can happen. If I was to go off and have another baby my house would probably be left in better condition than I left it, my husband is a clean freak and my mum and nan would definitely help out like they did the first 2 times

- - mom462038 said
  - 05 Oct 2020
    1:46 pm
I was lucky, my MIL stayed at my home and cleaned up, looked after my first-born etc

- - maidinaustralia said
  - 02 Oct 2020
    2:03 pm
I agree with this, but would widen it to include what awaits anyone when they return home after surgery or a serious hospital stay? That is nearly all of us (and to be honest, if it’s a serious operation it is even worse, because at least people tend to help out when you have had a baby). I’m a single Mum, and with several chronic conditions, am hospitalised a few times a year, and have at least one surgery a year, most of them major. I am sent home with no support and told to do nothing, but still have to look after my kids who try to look after me. As my conditions have worsened I do qualify for care now, but it is still not enough. Even getting to and from hospital (a few hours away) is major), and with teenagers at home, they do their best but can’t keep up with the cooking and cleaning. The care is for me only. For the first few weeks I can’t drive or cook. We spend a fortune on takeaway, and there are no deliveries where we live. They have to bike or walk into town. It is hard on them. I am drugged up most of the time. I have surgery in a few weeks and the hospital is trying to arrange some extra care for me, so I can get help for shopping (no deliveries here), and for big chores like cleaning the bathroom and floors. Last time that didn’t work out because someone didn’t sign off on it. It’s a bigger operation this time, so I hope it works. I still haven’t caught up on the disorder caused from last time. People say they will help, but are nowhere to be seen when it comes down to it.

- - Gracey said
  - 01 Oct 2020
    12:01 pm
My partner is exactly that my partner. He knows how anxious and stressed I get when I’m behind on washing or the dishes aren’t done. He would make sure the house is tidy for when I got home. My biggest concern would be how our daughter would handle me being away while in labour ????????

- - Carli85 said
  - 01 Oct 2020
    8:31 am
It’s really disrespectful and any male to act that way. My husband is our bread winner but if I’m unwell or away he carries the load.

- - tessie said
  - 29 Sep 2020
    2:45 pm
I wouldn’t worry about what the house looks like. When I go away I come home to a clean house because everyone knows I’m not a nice person if I come home to a mess when I left them with a spotless home.

- - rovermum said
  - 28 Sep 2020
    10:52 am
Awww, these are not the things you should have to stress about. Get a Grandparent or in-law on board to have things nice and settled for you when you return home.

- - mom101628 said
  - 26 Sep 2020
    11:21 pm
I too had a husband like this but I was extra lucky with my 3rd baby as a friend was minding my other 2 while my husband was at work and went up to the house the day before I was due home and cleaned it thoroughly for me. I was always so grateful. With No 4 we were due to move straight after I came home and husband packed everything into boxes and took it to the new house – dirty and clean clothes all in together and I had no idea what was in the boxes stacked in the living room till I opened them. Then he left me with the boxes, the new house and the children as he had to finish out his notice at work in the city and we had moved to the country. Never really worked out which type of mess was the worst. Good luck to you this time.

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 26 Sep 2020
    5:53 pm
You seem to have ongoing issues with your husband and family. If these things are upsetting you this much, maybe it’s time to have some serious counselling to discuss your concerns.

- - shanika said
  - 26 Sep 2020
    5:38 pm
My husband perfectly clean the house with out asking.Only problem he doesn’t know how to cook.

- - babymumma said
  - 24 Sep 2020
    2:53 pm
I was in hospital having bub for 2 nights. The only time my partner was home was to eat dinner, have a shower and go to bed. I don’t know how it was possible for him to make the house such a mess when I left it as clean as the day we moved in.

- - mom462038 said
  - 24 Sep 2020
    12:47 pm
I dont understand how men can be like this. I too live with one who just doesn’t seem to be capable of seeing mess. I’ve tried everything

- - Jess said
  - 24 Sep 2020
    12:03 pm
I was in hospital with my son over the weekend and my husband was home with our 1 year old and far out… I came home to a bomb site. My parents live around the corner but I don’t like to ask mum for help because she doesn’t live here, it’s not her problem.

- - mom146810 said
  - 24 Sep 2020
    11:01 am
First pregnancy mum was there so hubby wasn’t worried about anything, 2nd pregnancy no one was, around and 12 hours after labor I was discharged and I went straight to the kitchen when I reached home to cook dinner for my husband, he didn’t bother, 3rd pregnancy the same, doing everything as soon as I am discharged, I can totally relate to this.

- - mom418449 said
  - 24 Sep 2020
    10:17 am
I would seriously air my concerns with my hubby, that stress is not needed before labour, and knowing my husband he would rise the challenge. It may not be done as you would want it, but if there is effort involved it would fill your heart with joy

- - mom460223 said
  - 24 Sep 2020
    9:19 am
Sounds like I was one of the lucky ones. My husband has always been a clean well organised man and did a great job taking care of the kids and the house while I was in hospital. It’s when the children became tweenies that I gave up any hope of ever having my beautiful clean home again. A word of wisdom to those of you that still have little ones… Don’t constantly pick up after them and do everything for them. Get them to help with cleaning up, making beds and have a system where they need to pack up when they are finished playing or wish to play with something else. It will save you the impossible task of getting them to do it once they are older *Slaps forehead
- Ellen replied
  
  27 Sep 2020 , 4:42 am
  Sounds you are one of the lucky ones indeed !
- - Ellen said
  - 24 Sep 2020
    8:15 am
With my first I had an emergency section and was for 5 days in the hospital. I asked my husband to take the wash of the line whilst I was in the hospital, which he didn’t do. When I came home he didn’t help much either with vacuuming cleaning or cooking. When I went into the hospital for a planned section our daughter was 1yr old. I sat everything ready for him including sets of clothes for my daughter and cooked meals in the freezer.. He managed just about, but dear was he happy for me to be back home. Lets just say that our partners have all different skills

- - mom265671 said
  - 23 Sep 2020
    11:31 pm
I love my two but it’s so hard taking care and trying to maintain a home without help

- - Frankiielot said
  - 23 Sep 2020
    9:44 pm
yes! Oh my gosh, my husband is notorious for leaving everything laying around from clothes to tools to empty cups of coffee.
It drives me up the wall!!!
I’m due to pop in January and I honestly don’t know what to expect when I get home as we now have a one year old who likes to throw things around and take stuff out of her toy box and just vii l dump it all over the floor.
- Ellen replied
  
  24 Sep 2020 , 8:18 am
  Exciting times ! I wish I could help