What I know at 37

It was recently my birthday, and I completely jinxed it. I announced to the world, it wasn’t going to be great. I’m usually pretty happy about birthdays, but let’s be frank, 37 is not a pretty number.

It’s a stretch to refer to yourself as mid-thirties, but it’s not the fancy age of 40 either. It’s a kind of no-mans land of age. Anyway, I woke up and not long afterwards, I trod in poo. I’m not sure of the source; I didn’t have the energy to investigate the ‘matter’, but poo all the same. As you can imagine, the day then played out not dissimilar to Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. However, now that I’m out the other side and can laugh about my forgettable, yet unforgettable birthday, I realised a few things.

Sometimes ‘okay’ has to be enough

Everywhere I look at the moment, I see pressure. Mums being pressured to be better parents, better wives, better cooks, better lovers, better looking.

It makes me want to scream from the rooftops, ‘sometimes ‘okay’ is enough’. It’s okay if your child’s homework wasn’t done perfectly; they had a crack and handed it in on time. Congratulations.

Sometimes you end up wearing the same jeans and t-shirt all week. It’s okay; at least you brushed your hair before you walked out the door. It’s time to stop being so tough on ourselves.

You can’t be everything to everyone

At the heart of me is a yes girl. You need someone to babysit, yes. You need a cake for the stall, I’ll bake you two. You need your job done by tomorrow morning, yes siree. Give me a request and yes, yes, yes. However, as I’m getting older, I’ve realised I need to say no sometimes. Otherwise, my husband and children find themselves in the company of a very different mum. My children affectionately refer to her as ‘dragon mummy’. My eldest recently announced, ‘we haven’t seen dragon mummy for ages, it’s great!’ It was then I realised I was onto something by saying ‘no’ sometimes.

Guilt is a wasted emotion

Once I got into the habit of using the occasional ‘no’, I did notice a rise in guilt. Which is really a huge waste of energy, using up all that emotion on guilt. Much better to practice the emotions of love, confidence, contentment, courage, curiosity, joy and excitement!

So when those old feelings of guilt come creeping into my mind, I shoo them away, and replace them with new thoughts.

Thoughts about what fun things I could do with the kids on the weekend, or how happy my clients are with all the great work we do for them.

As it turns out, the ripe ole age of 37, aint so bad after all. Inner happiness, calm and contentment are much more beautiful than coveting Jennifer Aniston’s flat stomach, or the latest must-haves from the fashion pages.

And if you ask your children, they probably already think you’re pretty damn beautiful, just for being their mum.

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Did you struggle with turning a certain age? What age was it?

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com

44 Comments

- - mom67623 said
  - 01 Jun 2015
    11:12 am
Laughed at your article with mirth and joy so just had to write, thought we are all the same in our growing plight! For me we do not always appreciate the times age wise till it is further down the track.. Only remember and for me regret not enjoying more of the great things when later we reminisce with friends, share old photos and look back. 37 you look great to me,no problemo! be grateful have fun and enjoy,all the plus’s I can see in thee.As living also involves getting older (wiser!) I have to say, As I became 70 years young! on 18th May……My friends say things like you were gorgeous when younger it is true,why did not they tell me?then it would have boosted my ego then no on reflection thank you!!!
Anyway sad but true sometimes the younger me is still live and kicking too. This birthday it seems has been one of the best to celebrate. Had lunch with different friends, got great presents and got taken by ex male friend on a wonderful 2 day break, fantastically great.. Yesterday had a visit from person who I called my ‘soul daughter’
she spent a lot of time with me, I had two son’s but she and I had and have great relationship you see. She brought her daughter who was a delight, real chatterbox, intelligent and bright…Have not seen her for ages so it was very special time too.
I realise I am now (alone) taking care of myself better it is true.. Would love to look younger ,firmer etc. but not to be,but I still think I do!, till the mirror shows the visual reality..My point is that I am learning to accept me,and enjoying things I can do, say and having fun (not all the time naturally) even though financially have to go to things that are free… but also getting spoilt so love it you see.. Hope this is useful for you to see. Also thank you for your article which has prompted me to write how I feel spontaneously. Even keeping copy just to remind me. I have entered more competitions, won tickets to Swan Lake, took a girlfriend with me, also Dirty Rotten Scoundrel tickets took ,my man who spoils me..Lots of goodies too,luxuries it is true, for me and also for others as gifts I otherwise could not afford to do…..So in the moment is what I do. Lots of best wishes on your journey too. took copy of your article and you,also my reply it is true,will be on the look out for articles you share,to me age is no barrier when women share
Jeannie bliss

- - rovermum said
  - 01 Jun 2015
    10:51 am
I remember 37 being a pretty insignificant age, too. From 40, I just embrace each birthday and make it all about me. I share this with my family too, and ensure we do as little or as much as I want, and with who I want. I no longer feel I have to adhere to everybody’s rules about what I’m supposed to do. I now tend to have many (low-key) celebrations for my birthday with different people. It might be coffee with one friend, lunch with another, dinner with family.

- - Kasey said
  - 31 May 2015
    10:51 am
I struggled when turning 30 to me it seems old as I loved being in my 20’s, but now I’m used to it being that I’m creeping up to 35.

- - mom74640 said
  - 31 May 2015
    10:49 am
Lke it

- - cherz said
  - 30 May 2015
    4:29 pm
Sending you wishes for a better and more exciting birthday next year Sarah.
As I get older I appreciate being on this wonderful planet even more. Every day I wake up is a bonus.
- mom93821 replied
  
  31 May 2015 , 6:51 am
  I wholeheartedly agree with you CHERZ! Every day is precious and a bonus! 🙂
- - mom103920 said
  - 30 May 2015
    9:16 am
You’ve got me down to a tee, except I’m turning 39 in a few months. (That’s nearly 50, as my hubby teases). Saying no is very hard, but sometimes it is just the cure we need.

- - mom93821 said
  - 30 May 2015
    7:21 am
Another year and another birthday is an absolute bonus and I cherish every birthday and every extra year that I have been given to love and live well. I am thankful for getting older and being able to watch my children grow as it can all too easily be taken away. Love your age and love your life. 🙂

- - mom102959 said
  - 30 May 2015
    6:29 am
I hate getting older but I do find I am more content with who I am each year (but I wouldn’t mind Jennifer Aniston’s flat stomach. lol)

- - Schmoofie1983 said
  - 29 May 2015
    7:31 pm
Some very good reminders here. Thanks for the article.

- - mom109199 said
  - 29 May 2015
    3:40 pm
The only age I struggled with was 30, but then I was not in a very good place then. Tomorrow I turn 51 and I am perfectly fine with that. I won’t pretend that life is all wine and roses (or any wine and roses for that matter) but I am content in myself, and that makes all the difference.
- kymichelle replied
  
  29 May 2015 , 6:41 pm
  Happy birthday for tomorrow! I also struggled with 30. I’m 46 next Sunday and feeling pretty good 🙂
  - cherz replied
    
    30 May 2015 , 4:22 pm
    
    Many happy and healthy returns of the day.. wishing you a wonderful day. 🙂
- - jenniw said
  - 29 May 2015
    3:30 pm
I’ve struggled with every age since 30 to be honest. I hate the idea of getting older although each year I seem to come one step closer to accepting who I am and trying to the best version of that I can be. Definitely a work in progress but as I’m heading to 41 (its hard to say that!!) I think my ‘dragon mummy” has disappeared. I’m happy with that 🙂

- - mom62990 said
  - 29 May 2015
    3:01 pm
I have refused to be older than 18 hardly any of my friends know my real age one of these days I might turn 21 but I’m still having fun as a teenager

- - pplover2013 said
  - 29 May 2015
    2:28 pm
What a great article! I can understand how she feels as, I too, turned 37 not long ago. Had a little smile on my face as I read this. Thanks for sharing!

- - ashblonde said
  - 29 May 2015
    12:57 pm
When I turned 60 I suddenly felt old & dreaded the thought I would start having health problems like my parents did at that age but touch wood I’m healthy & enjoying life at 62+.

- - mom138374 said
  - 28 May 2015
    11:10 pm
37 is not old whatsoever! I hope you had a good b’day.

- - mom113055 said
  - 28 May 2015
    4:51 pm
this is so great to win

- - mom127676 said
  - 28 May 2015
    3:40 pm
Good article, I’m going to be hitting a ‘milestone’ birthday soon and have been dreading it. I’ve booked a holiday and it’s going to be time for reflection and working out how I can change so simple things in my life for the better.

- - tam_watters said
  - 28 May 2015
    3:12 pm
It’s funny how the expectations we have at certain ages. I remember a friend freaking out about turning 30…age is just a number.

- - mum4107 said
  - 28 May 2015
    2:17 pm
Fantastic article. Yes enough is enough

- - mom125971 said
  - 28 May 2015
    1:38 pm
Great article! love your comments…I spend far too much of my time feeling guilty for something I ‘shouldn’t’ or ‘shouldn’t be doing’…so much wasted energy.