This must be a tough one for working Mums. Thankfully its not a problem I ever had to deal with.

I guess it is important to work out why they hate it? Is it separation anxiety? Is it thw teacher? Is it a particular child. All these probably have a different way to fix the problem.

The same thing doesn’t work for everyone so having a range of suggestions is good. Definitely keeping in contact with the educators is something to be done.

Gosh, maybe raise your own kids. Then help them adjust to socialising slowly if they need that.

Some really good tips here. I’d definitely recommend keeping in regular contact with your child’s key educator/room leader and the centre director. Often it’s nothing specific that’s wrong, just working on different strategies to make them feel more comfortable.

Yes I had similar issues with my daughter for 2 years of childcare. Depending on the educator that was there in the morning she would sometimes be ok and sometimes scream and cry. I changed her to 4 year old kinder at a different place and she settled and never once got upset. She has settled amazingly in to school this year with no issues. I often think part of the issue was that the childcare centre was so big and there were always different educators in the mornings and so many kids. The kinder had only 3 educators and 35 or so kids at the most. School is similar with only a handful of different teachers and a class of 21 kids. I think my daughter didn’t cope with the constant change and amount of different people everyday

Are there other options for your little one other than day care? Grandma? Friend? Family day care?
Try not to make day care the first time your littley has been out of your care/with a large group of kids.
Playgroups, local library reading/singing time groups all help with socialisation without being thrust straight into day care

I enrolled my 2 yr old into a local centre that was classed as one of the best in our area, for my son to absolutely hate it, he’d get historical even driving past the centre on days off…took him out and enrolled him in another local centre. He still has a few tears at drop off but its only been a couple of weeks attending, but he settles withing 5 minutes once I’ve gone and talks about his day once I pick him up. Sleeps fine there, eats food and will go to all staff in his care. Definately glad I switched centres and didn’t persist just because others stated one centre was better than the other, im glad I listened to my son and instinct and changed centres.

Sometimes it takes a nice activity to elicit a change of mind, but sometimes another day care is the only option.

Great article! My three year old has lived most of her life in lockdown so she has developed severe social anxiety and separation anxiety. We have recently started occasional care to get her used to interacting with people other than family (she’s been going for about 8 weeks) and she is only very slowly getting used to it. She still clings to me and cries when we mention “daycare” to her. She has also regressed in other areas where she was progressing well, such as being dropped off at her grandparents’ place for babysitting. She now always wants me to come along where ever she is going.

Yesss love this article! As someone who worked in the industry and a first time mum about to start looking at centres, finding the right centre is just as important as making the choice to use a centre in the first place!
Orientation is key, as much or as little as the entire family needs!

I use to cry myself to work when I had my first baby at daycare. She cried for a good 6 months on drop off and even now in kindy, she can get emotional when I have to leave. I try my best to reassure her, give her a big hug and kiss and let her know if it’ll be me or her dad picking her up then I go. I don’t look back or go back. This helps her settle and get on with it.

My child went through this and stressed me out so much when we dropped her off. It seemed like she absolutely hated daycare and just felt like she wouldn’t settle ever. We looked around for other daycares but we just couldn’t find one we were happy with. Eventually, although it took much longer than expected, she started to make friends and participate in activities and started to settle in. It took a while but really got there!

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  • • mom465794 replied
    • 27 Sep 2022 , 9:38 pm

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  Just to add to this though, we did notice some cuts throughout and when we contacted the daycare, they then mentioned there were incidents involving another child which they are working on a solution for. We had thought this might have contributed to our daughters refusal to settle as well but this has now passed and it seems she is doing well which is such a relief.

I used to hate daycare and kindy when I was a child but I slowly got used to it. It can take a while to adapt to a new environment and I see that in my niece but she is enjoying it more every week.

My daughter went through a stage of crying and screaming when I dropped her. It was heart braking but she has gotten a lot better. I think separation anxiety was a big factor for my daughter

I think some children have challenges settling into care. This can be from our own anxiety as parents passed onto them, we feel guilty leaving them. However the key for me when a child is upset how the Educator’s respond to the child if they are trying to comfort them or work with the family to stop the child being upset. If this isn’t happening I would be questioning if this is the right centre for me

My child went thru this and I was persistent in finding out the reason behind her not wanting to go to daycare and this was bullying in the playground.I brought this up with the facility and raise a issue of my concern to prevent this in happening so they keep an eye during outside playtime.Once they did identify the incident the childcare did put the stop to it which help my child to enjoy going to chilcare again.I must say this is not an easy process and it takes a mum not to be emotional but being firm and present at chilcare some days to help the child readjust.

We need to prepare the kids and make it exciting for them to be in child care. Like enticing them by prepping their favorite snack, asking them to play and meet new friends. Learn new things that they xant do at home.

We take it for granted if they settle in well. It must be so hard when they don’t . Sometimes arranging a playdate with another child in their group can help them make friends.

So many different reasons and different kids means sometimes there need to be changes. My kids have all been ok with daycare, enjoying it once they got in there however one of my nephews HATED it for many many years but S-I-L didn’t want to change him to another one in case his anxiety got worse. He started sessional kinder and she changed his brothers centre and he’s been so much happier there… Who knows if it was personality or centre but I’m inclined to think it was his daycare centre.