I wonder what happened in Mums life to make her the way she is.

My mum is very controlling its instantly I’m 12 again when she visits and stays. I’m 44! But my younger sister has it different with the same mum. It’s not my mum treats her differently, it’s just my sister is more in her own truth and less sensitive. I’ve always been super sensitive and cower down more. Use your words. Like “no” or “no” haha.
We can do it.
If she gets offended so be it. Her problem not yours.

Heartbreaking indeed ! Even when it is good to take more distance from your mum like in this case it still hurts.

That is heartbreaking. Maybe your Mum thrives on being difficult. Maybe she is jealous the other grandparents see your children at all and makes a point of not agreeing with what your Mother-in-law says or does. Maybe you need to talk to your Mum and find out her version of why they no longer get along and your husband/partner talk to his Mum. You will both to not say too much during the conversation so you can’t be accused of taking sides.

That is so sad! My mum is no longer alive as she passed away when I was a child so was not here when I had my kids but this would be heartbreaking!

How sad. I would imagine that as an adult, you would do anything you needed to be a part of your daughter’s life and your grandchilds.

Im lucky and have a great relationship with my mum. This sounds so sad and depressing

Completely understand the anxieties that come from thinking there is a need to satisfy mum. Or the anxieties that come from her actions.
It’s difficult to break away from it. She is controlling after all and that is all you know from being raised by her.
I still struggle with my mum, but things are better since creating simple boundaries. Tackling the big stuff will be too hard. But dealing with little things one by one will make it easier to snip off the puppet strings.

So sorry for you and understand what you have been going through. I had a bad relationship with my mother and vowed and declared I would not be the same way to my children. Guess I have succeeded in the latter as we are all still friends and not just a parent. Hang in there – it will work out in the end and the loser will be her, not you.

This is tough. I’d say don’t accommodate her – do what’s best for you.

I was very lucky to meet my late husband when I was 13. He saw what life was like for me so we moved in together when I was 14. He was working away (at 15) for the better part of 2 years but we made it work. Once I moved out of home, at least once a week my Mother would be at my doorstep asking if I had any money she could borrow. This carried on for over 40 years until she passed away. She was in hospital when I last saw her and what she said to me then still floors me. She told me that she loved me and was very proud of me and how I’d lived my life. I was so dumbstruck the first thing I said was to call her a “bitch” but we both laughed at that. All those wasted years because she couldn’t tell me how proud she was of me or that she loved me.
Don’t let this happen to you. Live your life for your husband and children and if your Mother doesn’t like it that’s her loss not yours.

I had a great relationship with my mum and still do now. I have more courage now to tell her if something she has done or said upsets me as I have my own family now. She’d do anything for me and my family.

Growing up all I ever wanted to do was make my mother proud, I did anything to make her happy. She loved to control everyone and everything and I let her. I moved out at 15 because we were clashing and I wanted a good relationship with her. She still had to control everything in my life and nothing was good enough. It caused me relationship problems because partners would say to cut her out she doesn’t care but I couldn’t because I lost my father at a young age. When I was pregnant I asked her the wrong question about my father and she cut me out. But I showed up crying begging her to help as I was single and pregnant she lied to get what she needed by saying she loves me and has been waiting and once she got her way she cut me out. I gave birth to a beautiful boy and gave her 1last chance she met him then went behind my back as soon as she left trying to control who I see. Having my boy gave me the strength to see i don’t need her. I haven’t seen her since that day and she hasn’t tried to see me and honestly it’s been the best 3years of my life. It was hard at first because I lost my 5siblings and all relatives as they were told if they want me in there life then she looses her and my siblings but within a year without asking for it I became the legal guardian of my brother and sister both came to me severely traumatized and suicidal at ages 11 and 13 anxiety too bad for school and a suicide attempt, they both go to school full time again and are top of there class, they are finally happy and I tell them every day how beautiful and loved they are because it took a lot to convince them it was true. It took me a long time to realise my worth and that I am good enough even longer to get out of the habit of appoligizing every second sentence like everything I do is wrong. I had my first pannik attack at 12 at the time I didn’t know what it was until I was diagnosed with anxiety at 16 I will always have severe anxiety because of her but I’m happy to say without her in my life I haven’t had a single pannik attack.
Moral of the story is sometimes even though your supposed to love your mum no matter what it’s best for you to let go of poisoun in your life

Such a heartbreaking situation to be in! Don’t give up mumma you are still very much loved.

My heart goes out to this woman and I hope she continues to make clear to hear mum that she can’t accommodate 2 parties for every event.

A great story of hope and she is right, you never now what you would be missing out on. Ask for help if you need, there is no shame

This article is heartbreaking and I’m so glad for the great relationship I have with my mum. She has always been there for me

Leaving home made my relationship so much better

I have exactly this relationship with my mother.
If she isn’t in control it is utter hell.
Mum has pulled stunts on many Christmas’s, guilting me for spending time with my in-laws, who couldn’t be any more supportive or accomodating.
My mother made wedding planning torturous and on my wedding day, I didn’t know if she was going to show. She turned up 10 minutes before I walked down the aisle.

You an only do what you can do.