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Sometimes being part of a community means more than you realise. Have you ever needed to feel like you belong?

Every day, people like us, go about our business, but no one really knows what goes on behind our closed doors. Yet when we stick our heads out into the light of day, we find support from the most unexpected people in our community.

When I first arrived in Australia and was desperately lonely, I’d have days go by where apart from a fleeting conversation or two with my local butcher or fruit shop people, I would have talked to no one during school hours older than my 3 year old. Sometime I could go 12 hours speaking to no one apart from my children. Yet my local shopping village provided me a safe haven for feeling like I was part of a community.

We’d laugh at how I pronounced “mince” (and I’m sorry but it is not spelt meeence) or they’d explain what “two-up” is, or I’d simply ask what apples were best at the moment, or that yes please, I’ll have the bread sliced thanks.



At the end of my first year, with a friendship or two safely in my clutches, I did a trip to my local shops at Christmas with a box of chocolates for each of them.  This wasn’t about Christmas, it was just about how these people unwittingly threw me a lifeline when I needed it, and made me feel less lonely, and more normal.

And that part was really important to me.  I wanted to feel the same as everyone else.

Every day there are people in our community who we brush up against, they don’t know our stuff and we don’t know theirs.

They make our coffees; they put our rolls in a bag, find us a bunch of coriander, or slice our ham. They are our everyday people.  They see people like me who are lonely, exhausted mums, people who are sick, or people who are sad, or people who have just received good news.  And we may share a little of us in the few fleeting minutes as they’re weighing our sausages, but not enough for them to judge us.

They are safe people who are so much part of our everyday life that we don’t even notice they are.

My local bakery has a few Thai girls who serve and do a roaring coffee trade.  They are always smiling, always up, always efficient.  The other morning, while waiting, I actually took notice of them. They remembered everyone’s name and coffee preferences, they all crowded around a little girl in her dads arms who had a stamp to show them on her hand, they pulled a snake out of a lolly jar for another little boy they knew, they chatted and brought a little sunshine into that bakery. I left feeling all warm.

It’s the safeness and reliability of everyday people that gives them a special place in our world. Because sometimes you just need some normal and some predictability to make you feel normal.

Who are your everyday people?

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com
  • i know that feeling! I came over to australia when i’m 20 leaving my family and friends behind. And i must say i felt quite disconnected and lost for some time, but i’m glad i have a good bunch of girl friends that is always supporting me at work and making me feel fit in. 8 years gone and i’m married here now!

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  • My everyday people are my family and friends.

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  • I know just how you feel, Lisa. When I first came to Melbourne I knew nobody and it can be very lonely – my contact was with the check-out operators who all asked how you were or were you having a nice day – this was a rare thing for me to hear because I came from NSW and nobody asked or talked to anyone at the check-outs in those days. All they wanted to do was get you through the check-out as quick as possible. Melbourne was a breath of fresh air and it got me through those early days.

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  • yes we have to keep the sense of community alive everyday, not just in a crisis

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  • Lke it

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  • The folks in our local post office are ‘everyday people’ and make the effort to get to know you and greet you by name and have a chat; just lovely! 🙂

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  • My extended family are my everyday people. Whenever I need a conversation I pop over and someone’s always home. I would probably use the shops more of they weren’t around!

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  • We are regulars at the local coffee shop and this morning my husband was home sick so i went out to get a coffee for both of us and told them that he was unwell so they made him his coffee and wrote a get well soon note on his coffee cup lid.such a lovely thought

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  • What a beautiful and heartfelt article Lisa, just by reading this you put an added sunbeam in my day.
    I love visiting the shops and will strike up a conversation with only one but the staff a my local Coles are pretty special to me.
    Thank you for this wonderful story. 🙂

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  • I love the girls at my local Supermarket , I love to go in early and have a chat, I recently shopped at another store to collect the dominos for the kids, when the promo was over and I went back to my regular store, they all ask where I’d been and ask after the kids, it just sets up the day with a smile

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  • My coffee shop people, mums at school pick up….I often go 12 hr not speaking to another adult. Husband not included…..I do miss friendly faces some days

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  • There really nice at my local shops. Everyone is pretty close around my area.

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  • I really appreciate the staff in our (very busy, very central, lots of people in every day) post office – they remember my kids and ask them personalised questions.

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  • this is such a touching story and really makes me think about ALL those people i see everyday.

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  • We are all ‘everyday people’. It only takes seconds and minutes to share a little bit of friendliness and kindness with others. 🙂

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  • Great story. My every day people are at the shops too. the lady at the phone shop, the ladies at Woolworths, and also an elderly customer, I keep a look out for, she loves a chat and sadly lost her husband before Christmas, so if we see her, my daughter and I make a point of saying hello and asking how she is going.

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