Why Banter May Be the Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage

A new study says that banter and poking fun at your partner can increase relationship satisfaction and longevity.

We all know that having a good sense of humour is one of the most sought after traits when looking for a potential partner, but it turns out banter could be more important than first thought. Researchers from Appalachian State University found that couples who can roast each other have the happiest relationships – so long as they don’t take the banter too far!

All About Compatibility

Professor Geoffrey Hall from the University of Kansas reviewed the findings of the study, saying that they highlighted the importance of humour in sustaining romantic relationships. Professor Hall was quick to point out that the ‘humour’ the study refers to is not how funny the individuals in a relationship are independently of one another, but rather the humour they create together – basically, inside jokes and banter are key to a healthy relationship! “Say you and your partner share a quirky sense of humour, but romantic comedies or sit-coms do nothing for either of you,” Professor Hall said. “It’s not that any style or a sense of humour is any better or worse. What matters is that you both see quirky humour as hysterical. If you share a sense of what’s funny, it affirms you and affirms your relationship through laughter.”

What You Love Most

The study showed that it’s important for couples to be able to have a laugh at each others’ expense, without either person getting offended by the banter. “If you think your partner tells mean-spirited jokes, then it’s likely that you’ve seen that first-hand in your relationship,” Professor Hall said.

So if you think that Blake and Ryan have the perfect marriage, or John and Chrissy are couple goals, this study may have uncovered their secret!

Do you and your partner have a compatible sense of humour or share banter? Let us know in the comments!

40 Comments

- - mom290396 said
  - 16 Jan 2020
    9:56 pm
Interesting article. Pretty sure my husband and I have severely reduced this also… but possibly because we are trying to set a good example for our children. We also used to video game together all the time but with his long hours and two children that too dropped off. But we have been together 18 years so things are expected to change

- - Amanda Holland said
  - 16 Jan 2020
    9:03 pm
Sometimes I can laugh sometimes I can’t,
- Ellen replied
  
  18 Jan 2020 , 8:27 pm
  I think that’s true for all of us, there is a time to laugh and a time to be serious or even cry.
- - mom330666 said
  - 16 Jan 2020
    7:22 pm
Its good if both of you can laugh and enjoy same jokes

- - BellaB said
  - 16 Jan 2020
    7:12 pm
Definitely a factor in long term friendships, too.

- - mom81879 said
  - 17 May 2019
    6:17 pm
I think we both have fantastic senses of humour, mostly compatible. We are always laughing with and at one another, it’s a new thing for us. Life might have been easier in the early years if we had laughed more

- - mumma said
  - 01 Apr 2019
    8:44 am
Over a decade of poking fun at each other … definitely helps when times are tough.

- - mom206279 said
  - 15 Mar 2019
    2:40 pm
My husband and I are right then. We constantly pick on each other.

- - mom114371 said
  - 11 Mar 2019
    8:49 pm
Looks like we are in for the long haul! It’s banter central in my household.

- - MrsA said
  - 11 Mar 2019
    1:38 pm
Looks like we are set for a long and happy marriage. 🙂

- - Blossom said
  - 04 Mar 2019
    11:08 pm
I know a couple who both have a very warped sense of humour, one telling the other that you have to be smart and clever to break a bone.

- - rovermum said
  - 06 Feb 2019
    9:24 am
Yes we do. We laugh and tease. There is a lot of humour in our house. Our son has grown up with it and is now shares the funny and humorous behaviour with us and participates, bringing his own!

- - LuckyMum said
  - 05 Feb 2019
    6:37 am
Totally agree. Light hearted fun and laughter keeps things interesting

- - mom101628 said
  - 04 Feb 2019
    10:08 pm
Light hearted banter is OK – just don’t take it to extremes

- - MisChip said
  - 04 Feb 2019
    10:00 pm
Mot sure about this. Humour is one thing, but making fun of the love of your life…Not for me.

- - rnash02 said
  - 04 Feb 2019
    8:17 pm
Alls fair in love and war.
Hubby and I are always making fun of each other

- - nealsq said
  - 02 Feb 2019
    10:21 pm
pity it doesn’t stay that way

- - mom112217 said
  - 01 Feb 2019
    1:36 pm
I agree with the article,a good sense of humour is important!

- - mom160421 said
  - 01 Feb 2019
    11:29 am
This article is reassuring. My husband and I often take the mickey out of each other and laugh it off. It’s all in good fun and neither of us get offended.