It would be a good idea to perhaps send what is written here to the school principal and our to your childs teacher. If you dont say anything then it makes you part of the problem. You have noticed something that they havent so point it out and ask for positive change.

Ugh! So frustrating! We moved our kids from a school with an awards system to one that appreciated each child for the skills they had. We found it such a happier environment! We had one child that never got awards and two that always did and I was scared how the change would affect the two that got them all the time. I’m happy to say they enjoy it more because all kids are on equal levels and it creates less jealously and friction.

You yourself as a mum can speak words of praise to your child and help her to look to positive words spoken on her school report or during a teacher meeting.
On the moment your daughter told you she was going to work really hard to get an award given every other month as she never received one, you can correct this as it’s the question if this is realistic.
You could say something like “you don’t need an award for that, I know you work hard”

Maybe explain to your kid that other kids may have behaviour issues because they are being beaten or raped at home, witnessing domestic violence, being bullied by a sibling, could be dirt poor and not have a warm home with plenty of food…. Then explain to her that her award is coming home to love, warmth and everything else a kid needs.

If she expects an award now for doing what is expected of her, she won’t cope in the real world outside of primary school. Teach her resilience and that entitlement gets you nowhere in this world.

They introduced a new behaviour system at my kids’ school, and after a couple of weeks my son observed that the only kids getting “safety” awards were those who did something hideously dangerous, got told off, and then refrained from doing it again – and got an award for that. I told my kids they didn’t need to aim for getting one of those awards!

I agree with you, I don’t like the general reward / award system at schools here either. I remember my son received once an award for his beautiful smile ! Yes really !
I grew up in the Netherlands and we never received any rewards or awards for improvement in school work or behaviour at school and we didn’t miss anything.

There is a comment below about no awards and show casing the talents and skills of all students and I agree. It is rewarding for children to be able to showcase their abilities and skills and truly seems more meaningful. It also promotes inclusion and possibly opens up minds to all sorts of different possibilities.

I always tried my best when I went to school and there were never any achievement awards. They were only shown on your term reports. Words of encouragement from the teacher is a good thing. As for giving achievement awards to children who improve their behaviour, this should only be at the end of the year. Once again, I believe that encouraging words and praise are all they should be given.

I am not a fan of everyone wins a prize or gets an award. It doesn’t teach the child anything. But neither does being overlooked when you do everything right. Like a lot of the mums here are saying “go and see the teacher” Maybe the teacher doesn’t realise how this impacts the students that don’t play up and try their hardest. But maybe mum can make one day during the school holidays to take daughter for an award date because she didn’t disrupt the class all term. That might make her daughter feel good about herself.

I am a little on the fence with this one. I never received many awards at school, I was not a ‘high achiever’, despite always making an effort too. Sometimes, people are just average. That’s life. At the end of the day, kids are there to learn. Getting noticed is a bonus. As to naughty kids being rewarded, well it’s called positive reinforcement. If they are improving their behaviour, then yes, this needs to be applauded. It’s often these kids that come from troubled backgrounds and this might be the only bright spot in their whole week or even term. Yes, sometimes the average do just need to suck it up and get it done. If she works harder, with a little more help and effort, she might be able to reach the ‘high achiever’ level, even if it is just for one small thing. As a society, we are falling into a pattern of recognising under achievers, like everyone getting a ribbon in a race at school. Unfortunately, that’s not how life works in the real world and it sends the wrong message.

definitely agree the quiet ones can often go unnoticed when the educator or teacher is too busy dealing with the troubled ones. but then again, we also feel like some teachers just rotate awards all year to ensure that everyones had one by the end of year as well. i suggest speaking to her teacher if you feel there is an issue and go from there.

We actually are very familiar with this situation! We had our eldest son receive NO awards for a year whilst his twin siblings received awards every week! We watched the confidence of our twins grow whilst our elder son got more and more agitated and uncaring about trying.
We have since then moved schools to a school that does no award system and believes in showcasing all talents and abilities of students. All three of our kids are now thriving and no one misses the awards!
It’s a much happier environment even for parents there is less competition

This is a tricky situation. On one hand, a child improving their behaviour should be recognised. Positive reinforcement is how they will see their change is for the better. But it’s always unfortunate when those who are consistently well behaved aren’t recognised. It would be best for this parent to talk to the teacher, and explain how the lack of recognition is having an effect on her child.

I have never ever been a fan of general awards at school because they can be subjective and of course it can cause angst for children in classes. Parents and teachers need to teach children about winning and losing. Outside of school and in competitions there are medals, prizes and awards for first, second and third. The whole aim is to strive hard and work hard despite not receiving a certificate. Rewards for hard work can come from the parents.

I think this mums needs to sit down with the teacher and understand what is going on in the classroom and also find out more about her daughter and how she is going in class and what the teachers can do to recognise her in some other way. Most classes these days have too many kids for the teachers to manage and I am sure they don’t do it on purpose.

I agree! I have said to my daughter that the good kid who’s no trouble and works hard and does well but isn’t spectacular often gets ignored. It happened to me all through school and I’m blunt about it with my kids. I figure they need to know that I see them and their achievements.

This was one of the questions that we have been asking schools to help us select a school. Many schools have a strong focus on the kids that excel or the kids that need additional support but I often see the average ‘easy kids’ overlooked. Ive spoke to schools about how they support average achievers to excel. Interested to see what comments other mums have on this topic.

Praising children for good behaviour is an important reinforcement so I can understand why teachers are rewarding good behaviour in children who would normally play up. I think all children in the classroom should be praised when they do something positive.

First of all I understand this mum’s feelings and would suggest she talks with the teacher about this.
I do agree that the so called “naughty kids” should get a reward for making improvements. I don’t like the term “naughty kids” very much; we don’t know their story and what makes them behave the way they do, but for everything there is a reason (they may experience a complex situation at home like divorce, violence, neglect, trauma or have a diagnosis).
I do think that the kids who always behave well, are average and work hard should get rewarded too. Words of praise can also be written on their school report and you can make it a big deal to celebrate every achievement and every attempt yourself.