He really should have discussed it with his wife first. I’m sure he wouldn’t really appreciate if it was the other way around and he wasn’t informed

I think it is something he should have discussed with her first. I get how my in-laws can help but that is something you should decide together. I have the complete opposite I want my MIL to come with us on our holidays but she prefer’s to stay home!

He should have definitely consulted her first. Regardless of whether they all get on or not, you just don’t invite others on a holiday without getting the okay from your partner first!

I swear I could spend a whole day writing personal examples siding with this poor mum! I totally take her side in this! Men are such mummas boys that they put their mothers ahead of their wives in most cases! I feel for her, I truly do. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with and reconnect with your husband and children! And for it to be done on her dream holiday, it’s just so sad! Any other holiday might have been alright, but this is like inviting his parents to walk down the aisle with the bride on her wedding day!

Whilst in laws could actually be a great help on the holiday – a prior discussion would have been helpful or even booked for just the family and then added his parents after he surprised her.

A family holiday is for your own family sorry No inlaws allowed lol

I can understand this. It definitely should have been a joint decision especially if it was their dream holiday. Plenty of other things you can invite in-laws too like a weekend away? I get along okay with mine most of the time but mother-in-law usually likes to pick the best room, ride up front and choose the activities.

While I absolutely love travelling with family (spent 5 weeks with Hubby’s parents travelling) I also love our trips alone. I would not be happy if I was not consulted as an equal in the relationship. I would also not tolerate his disgusting behaviour of blaming her and insulting his wife when he was in the wrong then running off to his parents like a little boy after the argument. He really needs to grow up.

As it is their wedding anniversary trip I see no reason for the family not to be there, after all without them she wouldn’t have her husband. They will be an asset as they love the children and will stay with them to give the parents that alone time every couple needs. I realise that she was angry about not being consulted but then who is consulted about surprise gifts?

I can understand her disappointment and to me it is scary he went running to mummy and daddy instead of staying to discuss this with his wife.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 14 Jan 2020 , 8:24 am

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  Yes that would upset me even more then his initial going behind her back. Clearly not such mature man.

I can totally understand her disappointment !

He should have spoken to the wife first, and asked her how she felt about this, as she said it was their dream trip and anniversary, what the hell was he thinking. It’s bad enough that he invited his parents without discussing it with her, but to tell his parents before her!! He is married to her, not his parents. She is definitely not the selfish one here. He needs to grow up, and remember that he is married, and that his wife, along with the children, come before his parents.

I’d be furious too, something they should’ve discussed together

A lovely surprise for the wife until he added his parents were coming too. There are times when you just want some alone times. Yes the parents would be handy to look after the children but they are there and she should had been asked first.

I think it was quite fair to be upset.

I can understand her being upset because of the way this ‘surprise’ was originally told to her. However, I would then be availing myself of babysitting to the enth degree while on the holiday.

I think he should have asked her first. The fact that he can’t see why she would be upset and called her names makes me worried for the long term future.

I don’t blame her for being angry, I also have an idiot (now ex) husband that had no regard for my feelings

Plenty of people holiday like this these days as the grandparents look after the kids so the parents can enjoy a night out. In saying that though, if you haven’t been away as just a family for awhile it would be nice to do so.
He could have surprised her with the holiday (before booking it all) and then discussed his parent first

A holiday with the in laws is no holiday would be horrible