The only way that a man should be able to opt out is if they did all they could to make sure a pregnancy didnt take place. If they used a condom but the woman still became pregnant then ok. But the best way is just dont have sex until you have had a vacetomy.

It is difficult when the child pines to meet her Dad or at least see what he looks like and the Dad refuses to have any contact or send a photo. He signed a statuary declaration declaring that he is the Father and has to pay child support. The child has the Mum’s surname on the birth certificate and passport. However the Dad had to sign passport application form for a holiday overseas paid for by a relative.

It’s not that simply because there is a child involved and they shouldn’t have their rights taken away.

This is a topic of conversation. I read the article and I found it very interesting.

This is such an interesting debate and one that I think needs to be judged on every individual situation. I totally understand if a casual sex or one-night stand leads to a pregnancy, that this can impact a person’s life forever, and that there is also an innocent child involved. It’s not black and white, and there is no easy answer.

once upon a time there was no expression ‘casual sex ‘ if you choose to do that and don’t use precautions prepare to accept the risks. It took 2 to make it happen and 2 people should be responsible. since when did we become so incredibly selfish?

A father figure is important, but let men take the full responsibility and be real fathers.When men want to opt out so be it, but then let them step back totally and not after ages not return for a tiny bit of fun and no responsibilities….not good for the child

It is a complicated issue with probably many legal loopholes.

If the father doesn’t want anything to do with the child from the day of birth and doesn’t pay any maintenance then he gives up his right to ever have anything to do with either the Mum or the Child. That is when he should sign an agreement. That also means that his name would not be on the birth certificate as the birth father.

Don’t do the deed unprotected if you are prepared to raise a child!

I chose to opt out the father because he never turned up to visit me before, during or after the birth, I waited about 8 months, so did not put him on the birth certificate,yes I missed out on money, but I was able to bring my son up the way I wanted without any drama’s, why would you want a drug addict in your life?

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 01 Jul 2019 , 7:54 am

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  I can understand your choice.

Maybe the male though or was told she was using contraceptives and wouldn’t have ‘tangoed’ had he known for sure she wasn’t.

Both parents conceived the child so both should be responsible for raising that child, or at least help pay for the raising of the child

It takes 2 to make a child, so both parents should be responsible it providing for them

my kid’s father has opted out but only on the responsibilities side of things, he still expects to have them when he feels like it (hasn’t seen them since september 2018, his choice but blames me) he still expects to be invited to everything they do (cracked the sads because my daughter didn’t invite in to her 16th birthday party with her friends, not a family event) and refuses to pay child support. He tells them he is coming to see them and doesn’t show up then blames me for it all, he really is a miserable person

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 27 Jun 2019 , 8:06 am

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  That must be so hard !

It should be about the children

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 27 Jun 2019 , 8:08 am

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  I agree !

Whether it is better to have parents opting out or taking responsibility, at the end of the day it’s the child that suffers.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. No they shouldnt but they can if that makes sense.

I acknowledge that this is difficult, but I look at the way America is trying to take women’s choices away and find it quite disturbing that men should be given even more choices at the same time. There must be a better way to balance the wants and needs of both parents.

Accidents happen no matter how careful, but having sex means a possibility (unless you don’t have a uterus, for example) that a pregnancy will occur as a result. Knowing this you are taking on the responsibility of doing what’s best for the child. It’s a tricky one, as sometimes the mother wants to keep and the father doesn’t, but he has no choice and now has a child to pay for, and sometimes the father wants to keep but the mother doesn’t and gets a termination. Whatever is best for the child should be the final goal.

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  • • musicmum replied
    • 28 Jun 2019 , 10:44 pm

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  Yes I made the decision to terminate when I was really young because the guy said he did not want to be a father, I regret it to this day, so years later when it happened again I decided to keep the baby and the same thing the father did not show up so went solo and had the best years of my life bringing my son up.