Woman Told She Is Too Young To Have A Baby! Is She?

I had my babies in my thirties but I have friends who had a bub in their twenties and even in their teens and others who waited until they were past forty. I’ve heard of mums being told they’re too old to have a child, but this woman was told that she is too young to have a baby.

I can understand if she’s a teenager and still at school. Perhaps that is too young to have a baby. Although saying that, there are many teens who tackle motherhood better than older mums. And what about in the ‘older days’? If our great-grandparents weren’t up the duff by the time they were 20-something, there was definitely something weird going on.

But this woman is in her early-twenties and apparently, that’s now regarded as being too young to have a baby. Really???

Venting!

The frustrated woman explained her situation to mumsnet readers saying:

“So my partner and I have been together for 8 years. I’m 23 (almost 24) and my partner is 26. We are engaged, own our own home without a mortgage (we are extremely lucky) and are always on time with our bills. We both work full time.

“Anyway. I ask this, because I’ve been told by a close family friend that we are way too young and irresponsible to be trying to have a baby, when we are just ‘babies’ ourselves.

“This comment has really upset me. I don’t feel as though we are too young or immature at all. We pay our own way for everything we have, we work hard and save hard and this is something we have waited for, until it felt like the right time. Our wedding was called off due to COVID-19 and this is something we both want..

“Maybe I’m being unreasonable, but I don’t feel like this is the wrong decision for us.”

You ARE Too Young To Have A Baby!

The responses from the Mumsnet readers were quite mixed and I was surprised at how many people actually agreed with the ‘close family friend’.

“What’s the rush? 23 is young to be TTC. Assuming all is well, you have many fertile years ahead of you,” said one.

“You are still quite young. I’d recommend waiting until you’re married for the security that will give you,” said another.

Enjoy The Freedom

Others advised the women to enjoy a debt-free life before kids come along.

“You are mortgage free at that age? Oh my god enjoy it before you have your children. Spend a few years having the money to enjoy your lives before you have your children,” advised one reader.

Just Do IT!

A few told the woman to ignore what others say and just do what’s right for her and her partner:

“Ignore them, there’s not a ‘right’ age bracket simply a trend that people tend to be a little older than yourselves these days. We are in a similar position and are just going with it, trying to block out all the opinions!”

“Don’t let anybody tell you what to do, if you feel ready to have a family then go for it.”

“Ridiculous. If you are ready and financially secure why on earth not.”

“I’d go for it. Two of the best parents I know had their DCs in their early/mid 20s. When they have “flown the nest”, my friends will still be young enough to travel etc with a hopefully long life ahead of them.”

What age did you have your first child? Do you think this woman is too young to have a baby? Tell us in the comments below.

34 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 02 Jan 2024
    10:00 am
The best response to this comment by the rude and illmannered family member in my mind would be …
“Thanks for sharing your thoughts but we dont feel that we are irresponsible at all but time will tell. The one thing that we do know is that we are not rude and will raise a well mannered child. Manners are very important dont you think?”

- - mom492462 said
  - 08 Apr 2023
    5:56 pm
Seriously don’t take on othe people’s views
Biologically you’re in your prime
For a couple that has achieved so much having a family only sounds like a natural forward step
Nothing wrong with being a young mum or dad

- - Kathy Z said
  - 25 Jan 2022
    11:39 pm
Not too young at all. If mentally ready l why not. I had my first at 36 and second at 38. I was so tired to look after them as I felt physically lack of energy. So why not to have kids earlier. Simply have more energy to look after them when you are younger.

- - romvar said
  - 07 Jan 2022
    6:14 pm
She is not being unreasonable! The couple want a baby, are financially secure, own their own home and should do what they think is right for them.

- - MoM418449 said
  - 31 Dec 2021
    3:43 pm
If you can have them earlier then why wouldn’t you. If I had met my partner ten years stalker I would but have hesitated.

- - mum300445 said
  - 30 Nov 2021
    9:45 pm
They are definitely old enough! It’s a very personal decision. There’s no rush, but there are perks to having kids while you’re young.

- - Mom7534689 said
  - 09 Feb 2021
    7:13 am
It’s your life 🙂 I hope it turned out well ????

- - ThisIsMe said
  - 16 Jan 2021
    3:44 pm
That is so silly! I had my first child at 24 so was pregnant and 23. If you and your partner want to that is between you. I must admit though in saying that I do see now that I am in my 30’s why people do wait until their 30’s as you are more settled & if you want to be a stay at home mum may handle it more but everyone is different I still would not change it. I’m glad I had my girls when I did, 24 & 26 there is no “right” age.

- - Kimeeja said
  - 05 Jan 2021
    10:07 am
Each to their own. I don’t personally think that’s too young if that’s what you want. For me, I was way to selfish and irresponsible to have a child in my 20’s. For myself, I wanted to travel around the world before even considering settling down, but everyone is different. I say do what makes you happy and what you feel is right for you.

- - P&M'smum said
  - 02 Jan 2021
    7:52 pm
Depends on what suits them, if financially comfortable and able to afford to take time off them the 20s are a great age to have children, raise them and still be young enough to enjoy life as parents & grandparents.

- - mom111059 said
  - 01 Jan 2021
    12:39 pm
23 is a great age. I was expecting it to be too young at 13 or so.

- - Frankiielot said
  - 28 Dec 2020
    10:06 pm
I had my first child at 34 and the doctor said I was old.
I think 23 is a good age. They’ve paid off their house and seem to be in a good financial position.
I wish I had had my first child at 23 then I would be done with it all. I would have had a few more and would have had the energy to keep up!

- - marvellousmara said
  - 08 Dec 2020
    11:01 pm
That comment says more about the other person than about you. Ignore it.

- - shanika said
  - 04 Dec 2020
    1:31 pm
I got my first child when i was 27.May be 23 is so young.She need to enjoy more in her life to before taking responsibilities.

- - nealsq said
  - 02 Dec 2020
    10:12 pm
your body your choice! How dare any one presume to know what is better for your body and life than you do yourself! That is ridiculous!

- - nadine_hill said
  - 01 Dec 2020
    2:50 pm
Early 20’s is not too young to have a child. If it’s really what you want and have the means to care and support the child, why not!

- - tessie said
  - 30 Nov 2020
    3:50 pm
Don’t listen to what your friends say. If you feel you want children now then go for it. It’s no-one’s business but yours and you will know if you can cope. There is never a right age. My oldest was born when I was very young and his brother was born 9 years later. Follow your own hearts and that will be the right decision

- - mom109199 said
  - 30 Nov 2020
    11:20 am
I say get started. I started trying for a baby when I was 24. I had my one and only child when I was 1 month shy of my 32nd birthday. I don’t think early/mid 20s is too young. I you struggle as I did, you could regret waiting longer. If I had waited longer I probably wouldn’t have had my daughter.

- - rovermum said
  - 30 Nov 2020
    10:51 am
I was 30 when I had my only child… and not for lack of trying. I started at 26 and it took 4 years and IVF to have my miracle child. So just having a baby is all that I wanted — age is irrelevant.

- - mom450003 said
  - 29 Nov 2020
    9:25 pm
I don’t think there is any problem with them having a baby at 23 if they are financially stable or able to pay for their baby. This girl also sounds like she is mature and intelligent as well.