ALWAYS Start as you mean to go on. Part of the agreement of allowing your child a phone needs to be the understanding that as you are paying for the phone and the account that means that at anytime you feel like it you can ask them to hand over their phone and they need to do that without arguement. When they are old enough that they are paying the phone bill thats when you no longer have the right.
I would explain to your child that you have made a massive mistake and you are sorry but you should never have promised him that you wont look through his phone. Explain that you are feeling very uncomfortable and you need to look at his phone so you can relax and its not about trusting him. its about being a good parent and protecting him. If he makes a fuss then you simply tell him that you wont be renewing his phone account so he wont be able to use it for more then 4 weeks,

No I don’t and wouldn’t, unless there’s a serious reason for it.

For me, if I had a kid with a phone part of the agreement to letting them have a phone was that I had to be able to monitor it. So for me it is a yes. I would of course, sit them down with me and we would go through it together. I trust my child but don’t trust others.

It would depend on the amount of trust you have with your son. Explain to him what your concerns are and let him know you are there for him.

I did used to go through my son’s phone intermittently. It was based on history and things that had happened to him, and that he had done wrong. He has ASD so I needed to use some situations to help him manage them. We had rules around passwords, etc. and I would often discuss what I had done and how he felt about some of the content on his phone. I took it all as teaching moments and learning experiences for both.

Perhaps if you don’t trust your child to use their phone responsibly, then they shouldn’t have a phone at all.

It is akin to going through a young persons diary. I would prefer if one could talk openly to her and not feel the need to invade her privacy.

Every child is different and I appreciate the mutual trust they have but I would still feel the need to spot check my teenagers phone.
My children aren’t that age yet, but I do have access to my nieces instagram Account and all I have to say is, thank god as the Conversations going on required adult intervention

My children don’t have phones yet as they are still way too young. However, I don’t believe I would go through their phones unless I was certain there was a real issue that they weren’t sharing with me. If I suspected they were doing drugs or engaging in other illegal activities then I wouldn’t hesitate to go through their phones. But honestly, I feel this mum is either over protective or just too curious for her own good!

My children don’t have phones and won’t until they are much older, we will have rules and regularly check them until a responsible age for safety reasons.

Mine are too young for phones, but I have no issue with going through them if I felt there was a genuine reason. If i’m paying I own it and its content

I think its hard Until we are In that situation

Not had this problem yet as my 16 year old hates mobile phones. Yes she does have one for security but it is only used for phone calls. My older children are too old for me to do this. I think it is a trust issue and if a child is letting you know what is going on, then you have to trust them that all is alright.

Given the circumstances I’d say yes. My biggest worry would be that his ‘friends’ would be mean enough that it led to depression. Maybe there is a trusted uncle or something that he could go to?

Up until about 15 or so, yes.

absolutely, if i thought i needed to, luckily my kids are pretty open with me but we will see what happens with my younger kids

I reckon at that age they probably still need guidance. Not quite the age where you can just trust that they are not going to do anything stupid. I reckon it’s okay to check the phone so long as he knows that you are.

If he’s open enough to show her texts I think she’d be better keeping the communication going between them.

It’s an age thing – but I think if you’ve said you won’t, you should have a very good reason to do it.

I wouldn’t go through my daughter’s phone. It would mean that I don’t trust her.
When I was younger I remember my mother opening my letters and reading them. I felt terrible.