You find yourself on the internet looking at a site called MoM (right here at Mouths of Mums) and reading articles about all the wonderful things you have going on in your life! Please grab a cuppa and read on. . .

Like many, I have alot of friends from school years or ‘single days’ who I cannot imagine ever having kids. Some I cannot imagine settling down and becoming responsible like grown ups, buying a house or getting married. I guess sometimes you forget that as you mature and grow up, so do your friends.

As life goes on, you also learn that when your circumstances change (to any of the above) you actually change. Your lifestyle changes, your outlook might even change and your circle of friends change too. Your daily activities definitely change! You make new friends that suit your new lifestyle (new season of life) but you still have those good’ol’ friends from the past. Surprisingly they eventually end up doing all the things that happen in life and you find yourself having an entertaining conversation about everything you get up to these days in comparison to what it used to be like.

That means conversations about sleep routines, the best swimming instructors; the dad’s who don’t know how to be mums! This thought brought me to the category of all the “never thought it would happen” mums I know.

You know you’re a Mum when –

• You find sultanas in your handbag
• Your water bottle is full of floaties
• You forget to respond when someone calls out your name, you forgot you have a name
• You turn around when someone else’s child calls out “mum” in a crowd of people
• You lick your finger to rub grub off your husbands cheek
• Your version of a good end to the day is not having to bath the kids, magically getting them to bed early and having an uninterrupted dinner in front of the TV
• You hear yourself using the phrase “silly duffer” “oopsie” or “ah-ma-maa” instead of “oh S*#T” even when there’s no kids around
• You understand that an immaculately clean house is for people without children – all your windows now have permanent fingerprints on them
• Your make-up routine to go out now takes an extra 2hrs because you are so out of practice and don’t remember how to ‘get done up’
• Your idea of a good night out ends early with 10hrs of sleep because you know the next day cannot be taken as a ‘sick day’
• You avoid browsing the shops in town because you have kids in tow – you go in with a list, on a mission and do not divert anybody’s attention from getting in and out and back to the car asap
• You have been pood on or weed on and are not ashamed to admit it or laugh about it
• You have compassion for the mothers dealing with a shopping centre tantrum when you don’t have the kids with you – you even offer to help (you never would have done this before)
• You know where all the good parks, public toilets and play areas are in every town between you and your furthest relative
• You wake up humming playschool tunes or musical toy jingles in your mind at 4am
• You NEVER know what day of the week it is
• It’s not imperative to buy brand new really nice things for the home – these are the things that get broken and cause you devastation. Cheap and replaceable is fine
• You have more to get ready but are more efficient at getting ready because your brain is now shaped to absorb, dissect & act on information faster than ever before
• You look back at your life before children and wonder what on earth you did with all your spare time and disposable income!

YOU KNOW YOU’RE A MUM WHEN . . . you find yourself getting lost in articles on the web, written from other mums who know exactly what you are faced with every day. You smile, you sigh, you suddenly tune your listening back into the room where you sit and notice that a bomb has gone off around you – the kids are screaming, there’s powder everywhere and your coffee is now cold (with bits of toast soaking in the bottom. I’ll let you go clean that up … until next time xox