You say that it was a passing comment made by this other mother. Perhaps she just meant that juggling two kids is an extreme trial and you don’t know this until it happens, but it was couched wrongly. You were already feeling left out of their conversations because you have one child and they were talking about their multiple children, so maybe you were already hurt and this was the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak. If the group keeps making you feel left out because you will always only have one child, then perhaps fewer meetings with them or meet them singly and not as a group get together. Then they can be envious of you and the extra time you have with your child and the special bond you have with her. Just a thought.

That’s just stupid on their part. What about the parent who only has one child and is juggling a job or a sick partner, does that mean she’s not a parent either? Don’t take any notice of what they say because you are a parent and don’t take any notice of her caustic comment. Even Mum’s who adopt a child or children are parents too.

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  • • mom486197 replied
    • 14 Dec 2024 , 8:47 am

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  I agree with this comment – what about a mum who was told they could never have kids and was able to successfully have one child but couldn’t have anymore. I think this lady needs a kick up the beep, this was a totally unnecessary comment to make and a hurtful one to mums out there who do only have one child.

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    • • Ellen replied
      • 16 Dec 2024 , 9:17 am

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    Yes it is an absolute hurtful and ignorant comment. Before we make any comments we should consider the impact our words can have on the other, and in this context the person who made the comments didn’t consider the possibility that they strugle to conceive. Always THINK before you speak. T = is is true ? H = is it helpful ? I = is it inspiring ? N = is it necessary ? K = is it kind ?

Well that’s one of the most ridiculously insensitive things I’ve ever heard. It doesn’t matter if you have 1 or 10 if you’re a main caregiver to a child, you’re a mum. I really struggle talking to other mums because of how common these types of comments are. Infertility is the hardest thing I have experienced, way harder than juggling more than 1 child. I’m so sorry to this mum, I wish her the best.

I’m sorry this happened to you mumma. You don’t need multiple bubs to be called a mother. Clearly this woman needs to think before opening her mouth in the future. I personally don’t like conflict and I would also be taken back by this comment. So it’s understandable that you wouldn’t say anything in the moment.

I’m a mum of one. A very active young. Naturally would have loved to extend the family – which I’m still in denial. Do listen to your feelings, thoughts and opinions. If you don’t feel comfortable do not pursue. Your child could be very active more so than 2x kids in the 1x family. That lady could have other issues in her life to fuel her tongue like that. Ie- Your partner could be hands on helper and hers not. Who knows. It is real and unfortunate we don’t live in a society where people, women, mums support each regardless. If you’re not ready to make a decision, sit with it a little more.

The moment you fall pregnant with your first child, you become a mother. It’s that simple. Yes, there are different struggles that parents of more than one child face, but this does not discount the challenges that you will face being the parent of just one and it sounds like you are going through a lot in trying to fall pregnant again. The comment made was obviously said without thinking, but it is still hurtful nonetheless. I think maybe you should confront the thing head on and let the other ladies know how much you are struggling. Chances are, they didn’t actually realise or think about how hurtful their words might be.

Who said Mad Cow disease has been eradicated you are just fine 1 or more is great you need to get that Cow out of your life

I only have one one child she’s now 15. I would have loved to have more but life didn’t give me that privilege. But to say I’m not a mum is horrid. How aren’t I? Did I not sit up with my daughter when she was little and sick? Did I not have her vomit all over me ? Did I not sit with her when she was sad? Was I not there through her first period? It doesn’t matter how how many kids we have we are still mums. Even women who lost a child you are still a mum. It’s so cruel to ever say someone isn’t a mum if they carried a child for a day or to term

Being a mum of one is just as hard in so many ways and every bit as legitimate! It is an insensitive comment on her part and probably didn’t even realise as she would have been so sleep depraved to notice. Ignore it and move on. Life is beautiful and you are a fantastic mum no matter how many children involved.

What a silly silly comment. Sounds like she is unhappy with her own life and trying to make others feel as bad.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 12 Dec 2024 , 4:04 am

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  Often it is the case that when someone makes a cutting and unpleasant comment that there is an agenda. It is so important to not take on board the status of being a mum from another person. Laugh it off, shake it off or defend your position by calling out the comment.

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    • • Ellen replied
      • 12 Dec 2024 , 5:13 am

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    Yeah it could be her unhappiness that made her say that or maybe she’s just simply ignorant and immature herself. Whatever the reason don’t take it on board. Look at it as a message written on a piece of paper, what you crunch up after considering it unimportant and throw it in the bin 🙂

I understand feeling a bit left out as a lot of my mom friends are all having, or have had, second babies and we will only ever have one. The friend was very insensitive and rude, and probably made the comment to make herself feel better at the expense of others which is just sad and mean. The biggest life change comes when someone has a child period, and this definitely makes her a mom.

You are absolutely a parent with one child! This also applies to those who foster or care for children. It is simply busier with two but i would never devalue someones parenthood by saying you need more than one.

You’re a mum if you’ve got a child. It’s a bit different when the number changes, but it’s still being a mum. I bet her friend thought she was a mum when she had her first!

wow. What a ridiculously silly thing to say to you and other mums in the group. of course you are a parent no matter how many kids you have. I think she needs to keep thoughts like this to herself, and be more sensitive to peoples feelings when making comments in groups

Her comment is horrible, I’m sorry you had to hear something like that. I personally would have addressed it there and then and made a point of saying it’s a shame it took her a second child to actually feel like a real mum. No matter if you’re caring for 1 child or 10 or 1 pet or 10 you are still a mum that nurtures and cares, cooks and cleans and just gets everything done.

Ots very possible that this woman was just trying to make herself feel better. If the conversation comes up again perhaps ask her “So you didnt feel like a real Mum until you had baby number 2?” … Just tell her you certainly feel like a Mum and would never not feel that way even if you do have another child

I think it was a thoughtless and immature passing comment that is not necessarily agreed with by all there. They probably just let it pass so as not to discuss it more. I’d just let it go, put it down to thoughtlessness and move on. You are definitely a Mum. Some people have all the trouble in the world rangling one while others breeze through half a dozen. They are all Mums.

OMG this woman is ridiculous to have said such a comment. I would have laughed at her and said you are being ridiculous if you think this. What makes you feel you can say such a rude comment to another mum and put her back in her place. Some people have no filters and really don’t think before they speak. Don’t let this bother you, this mum is obviously being a complete tool to say something like this.

Not everything what other people (not even your friend, a loved one or family) say is true. I really wouldn’t take it personal and ponder about it and try to ignore it or shake it off. Yes I do think that the comment was insensitive and no this is certainly not something everybody thinks

I would have laughed out loud at such a silly and pointless comment! There is no ranking or list or rules about the number of children needed to be a mum or parent. It sounds like the discussion was a competition for who is the busiest which can be such a pointless conversation.