As an Occupational Therapist, specialising in Sensory Processing, I’ve seen how minor tweaks in our approach can transform a child’s experience. Along the way, I’ve learned something crucial: it’s not just about what we do to support these amazing children, it’s also about what we don’t do.

_{Marga is a registered paediatric occupational therapist with extensive experience in sensory integration therapy, early childhood development and learning issues. She is competent in supporting children and adults with sensory processing problems on the ASD spectrum, learning challenges developmental delays and paediatric mental health issues. CoordiKids is her brainchild. CoordiKids offers options for home, kindergarten, and school programs.}

If you love a child with sensory challenges, remember:

• Kids with SPD experience the world uniquely. Sounds might feel like fireworks, textures could overwhelm, or a busy room might seem like a sensory storm.
• SPD also impacts planning, coordination, motor skills, and even executive functioning, like organising tasks or focusing.

Here are five big things I always avoid—and why steering clear of them can make your life easier and their world more manageable:

1. Demands: Create Invitations

You know that look kids give you when you tell them to do something? Yep. That “nope, not today” glare.
Kids with SPD are working hard just to process the world around them. When you pile on more pressure, their nervous system goes into defence mode – fight, flight, or freeze.

Instead of barking orders (“Put your shoes on now!”), try inviting action, rather than commands.

Try this: “Hey, can we find your shoes before the timer beeps?”
Or: “Would you like to wear your sparkly shoes or your comfy ones today?”

Why it works: This approach respects their developmental and emotional level and brings the task down to their level of processing.

You’re turning expectations into shared experiences, not battlegrounds.

2. Rush: Slow is the New Smart

Hurry, hurry, hurry! Get dressed! Eat your breakfast! Find your backpack! But for children with SPD, a rushed environment feels like a chaotic storm. Since SPD can affect motor planning, quick transitions can be extra tough.

I build in extra time for tasks and transitions. Their brains are already juggling mixed sensory messages, and when you rush them, anxiety skyrockets. Listening becomes impossible. Following instructions? Forget it.

My tip: Start earlier! Break tasks they struggle with, e.g. dressing, into smaller steps. Buffer time into your routine. A gentle heads-up, like, “In two minutes, we’ll start packing your backpack,” gives their brain time to plan and shift gears.

Why it works: A calm pace helps them regulate and access their higher brain functions – like decision-making, listening, and cooperation.

3. Long Sentences: Keep It Simple, Keep It Clear

Have you ever tried listening to someone speaking a language you almost understand … while standing next to a speaker blasting music? That’s what complex sentences feel like for many kids with SPD.

Planning and organising information can be a hurdle, so I keep my words short and precise.

Avoid this: “After you’re done putting your shoes on, can you please grab your backpack and bring it to the front door because we’re going to be late.”

Try this instead: “Shoes first. Then backpack. Then door.”

Why it works: Short, clear instructions reduce cognitive load. You’re giving their brain fewer hoops to jump through, and they’re more likely to succeed.

4. Too Many Options: Three is the Magic Number

Kids with SPD often struggle with decision-making because every choice requires sensory filtering, emotional judgment, and executive functioning. Too many options can feel like a tsunami of pressure.

Think of a simple scenario: “What would you like to wear today?” (Cue meltdown.)
Better approach: “Do you want the blue shirt, the red one, or your stripy one?”
Three options give enough autonomy to empower your child – but not so much that it becomes stressful.

Pro tip: If they still can’t choose, let something else decide. “Let’s ask Teddy to pick!”

Why it works: Predictability reduces stress. Fewer decisions mean less mental clutter and
more successful follow-through.

5. One-Size-Fits-All Sensory Games – Adapt, Adapt, Adapt!

Here’s a tricky one. Many well-meaning adults think sensory play is the solution for every sensory issue. But here’s the catch: No two sensory profiles are the same. One child loves finger painting and mud puddles. Another recoils at the mere thought of touching slime. SPD isn’t one-size-fits-all – and neither are sensory activities.

Classic mistake: Forcing a child to join a messy play table because “it’s good for sensory development” = definite recipe for a meltdown!

Better idea: Start with their preferences. Gradually introduce new sensations, one tiny step at a time. Turn it into a game that puts them in control.

Why it works: When children feel safe, they explore more. When activities match their profile, they learn to regulate instead of shutting down.

Respect the Sensory Brain

Supporting a child with SPD doesn’t require perfection – it just requires awareness. Every child deserves to be seen, heard, and supported in ways that match how they experience the world. Remember: the magic isn’t in doing more. It’s in doing things differently.

And that difference? It might just be what your child needs to thrive.