I would love to know how this lady got on and what decission she came to.

Hopefully this mama seeks some professional advice for options out there which will help her through this. I wish you all the best in whichever option you choose to suit your family circumstances..

I do feel sorry for this lady but think about the poor Grandmother. She is being put in a very difficult situation.

Unless the law has been changed it is a State matter although States do work together on some issues involving children. I know of a situation (I have met part of one family) the sister and her husband fostered 2 of her sister’s children who were being fostered interstate but were being abused. The family were approached and asked whether they would foster her sister’s children. The Mother had moved interstate, then didn’t want the children and had them put into foster care. The Foster Mum flew interstate, picked up the children and they ll few home together. Eventually the foster Mum moved back to her home state. Initially she was allowed so see them but only under the Foster Mum’s supervision. The children lived with their foster parents for over a year. Eventually the children went to live with their Dad. In that time he was able to get a different job and was able to care for his children. Initially he wasn’t aware of what had happened to the children apart from the Mum taking them interstate.

I really feel for this Mum. I think she needs to speak to someone to understand what her options are. They may vary from state to state. I wish her all the best.

I hope everything works out well for this woman.

Hopefully she will change her mind after the child is born, would be hard to explain why she was adopted out to the grandmother, I think it is also cruel for the siblings. She also does not mention how hubby feels.

If your child is put up for adoption then your family has to be part of all the other people who would like a child in the adoption process – there would be no guarantee that your family would be the adoptees. In your circumstances I would be trying to move closer to your parents so they can help out with all your children.

So many issues I haven’t considered here. Such a hard topic to discuss.

If I were you and I had a good and close relationship with my mother, I would to her and discuss moving closer to her. If she can, she might be thrilled to have you and her grandchildren closer to her and would probably enjoy helping you out without you having to go through any legalities. Call her and discuss the situation, I’m sure she will be supportive. You won’t know unless you make the call. Wishing you comfort and peace about the situation and every success with your pregnancy and a good outcome.

Adoption is a federal order. It is lifelong and not reversible. Adoption in the family is not advisable as it changes the child’s legal family connections. Grandmother b comes mother, her children- in this case the birth mother- becomes sibling of their birth child. See the difficulty here?
Guardianship orders are made in several states of Australia, expire when the child reaches 18 and are reversible. They do not change the family connections. This is the more desirable way within family. Seek urgent legal advise.
Good luck with this difficult situation.

I hope this Mum finds a solution, my heart goes out to her

Adoption is so final. I’d look towards some ort of guardianship relationship.

This sounds like a very sensitive area to explore for many people. I hope an amicable solution can be found.

Maybe look towards your Mum being the child’s legal guardian. That way she will get the allowances available while bringing up your child. I wish you all the luck in sorting out this dilemma you’re in but see a councillor first.

Hard topic. As a parent i believe you need to do what is best for the child.

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  • • Mum2archer replied
    • 02 Jun 2019 , 4:47 pm

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  Agree completely with you

Very hard. Topic to talk about

Very difficult question!
In my idea if the child is adopted by the grandparents, it’s fine. But it’s a final decision. Not giving the child to them, and then wanting him back. Talking with a family lawyer could help indeed in deciding what to do if you want it to be just transitory.
For the child it would be very challenging otherwise, and you have to think about his well-being. That’s probably why talking to someone to see if you can get some help at the beginning, could be just what you need. Without making a final decision I mean.
Centrelink could probably help financially, and if you receive some counselling, you could probably find in yourself the strength you have forgotten to have.

The first thought always comes in my mind after I was pregnant with my second child and also now I am expecting again is whether I am able to take care of my child or not? Will the finances be enough to meet their needs? My husband lost his job 6 months before my DS was born and I was the only earner at that time. But one month before DS was born he got another job which was way better than his lost job. What I have learned through out my pregnancy and mother hood journey is that we go through strange emotions but it doesnt mean we cannot over come them. I am pretty sure that when her new child will come to this world she wont think about the option of adoption or guardianship, this is mother’s love for her baby. Just be strong we are human beings and can survive in any circumstances we only need a bit motivation, positivity and believe in our self. Ask your mom if you can stay with her and pay rent in exchange for her to take care of your new born child. She is your mom and definitely she loves you I am sure when you talk to her about that she will suggest you a better option other than Adoption or guardianship.

I can understand another pregnancy is emotionally and financially overwhelming. However I would not advise to look into adoption or guardianship by your family, not only will this cause damage in the relationship with your child and guilt along the lines, it most definitely will cause problems and damage in your child in regards to forming relationship, attachments and trust.
I would ask your family for hands-on-help instead.
Ask and receive as much help as you can; move up close to your mum, think about a nanny, get counseling, look into Child care, talk with Centrelink.