Such a hard and tough situation, she’d need to talk to her mother more, and work out how it would all happen, what she wants etc to see if it’s really an option

My inlaws did this with some of their grand children. The youngest one was ten days old and he was 18 when he found out who his real mum was. His mum was 16 and the year was 1962 so things were different then. He really was in a bad place when he found out and it led to some confusion about his relations. At his wedding it said he was the youngest child but his best man was his younger brother. Those in the know understood what was going on others were so confused. The others were a bit older when taken on by their grand parents or aunt, so knew what was going on. They still refered to their carer at mum and dad or mum.

Think really hard about what you are doing. In one way you will see the child grow up but knowing you have no real say how that child is rasied . Also what happens when the child finds out who the real parents are and ask why did you keep the other two but not me.

Yeah it seems a little odd to get your mum to adopt only to think you’ll want them back later? I think it would be wise to get the mum to help

A very hard decision to have to make, but I really don’t think its fair to uproot the child in a few years if you decide you want it back. That would be so stressful for the child and to them would feel like they were being taken away from their mother to be with someone they dont know well

I think if I were her I’d be moving closer to mum so she could help out without the necessity of adopting the child. There is a good space between each child so it might be possible that way to keep the current baby. Don’t know what emotion problems there are at present, but can certainly see emotional problems rearing their head down the track.

such a tricky area

you can have an open adoption where you get to stay in the child’s life but i hardly think it is good for the child if you decide later you want the child back, would be very upsetting

Very hard decision to make but at least she still wants to be apart of the child’s life.

Such a difficult decision to make but I think talking to a professional who can provide unbiased information and advice and help work through the pros and cons of all options would be a good start.

What an emotional decision to make! I would definelty look into moving closer to mum or in with her while the baby is young. Or if her having the child full time is the final decision. I would draw up an agreement that can be revised any time so it’s not as official as adoption. Prayers are with you and your 3 beautiful children mama xx

there are a few options out there – not necessarily “adoption” but similar arrangements with family. I hope this mum can come to a decision that is best for her and her family

I think given the enormity of the situation its really important to take your time and not rush into anything. Definitely find a good counselor to talk it over with.

I think you need to consider whether you are definitely going to have the baby. Adoption would be hard for everyone involved i think as it is not as if you won’t be in the childs life, but it could be done. Good luck to this lady, I wish her all the very best at such a hard time.

It’s absolutely possible. And I think you’ll find an in family adoption is a lot quicker then going on the waiting list to adopt. You could even do it unofficially if you had to, do the paperwork later down the track

This would be a very hard decision to make. If she’s certain of her inability to look after her child at this time, the the kinship idea is the best option in my opinion. She obviously wants to have her child but can’t and wants what’s best for him/her. Adoption is a serious option and one she might not be able to get her child back from. My grandparents did the kinship thing when I was 15 after my mother didn’t want me living with her anymore. I was suddenly taken out of school and sent to live in a smaller town where I didn’t know anyone my age. It didn’t work out at all as they weren’t able to understand how to help me with my depression and anxiety so got rid of me.